Posted by:
smirkorama
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)
Date: May 06, 2015 06:29PM
cl2 Wrote:
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> Everyone's relationship is different. AND how
> everyone believes, whether mormon or not, is
> different. Over time, MOST people change.
I think that people basically stay the same, more than they change. The manifestation of what they are might change, but that is because what people really are becomes more apparent, more so than any shift in what they basically are.
The situation that you ended up in with your marriage, and those of other women who end up married to gay men, and then the marriage blows out years down the road is a classic example.
Did the gay man change? Not really, in fact at the core they did not change at all, and that is why they could not finish out their life playing the role of traditional straight husband, so after a while the traditional marriage blows out. Then a lot of people point to that; as a big change -which it is, as a proof that things change - which they do, and as a fact that people change - which at their core people usually really do not change - which is why the other more apparent changes are really taking place.
I have a two SILs, who will ALWAYS be insane and vicious trouble makers ( they are whores..... just like my male parent was, which is why my brothers married them, because my brothers wanted to marry a woman just like good old dad ! )
Sure,as time goes by, their psychiatrist may find a medicine that somewhat inhibits their nasty pathological personal tendencies and / or they may become enfeebled so that their ability to act out their pathological tendencies is lessened, but at their core they will ALWAYS be toxic vicious nasty people, right up to the moment that they die, and at that point then maybe there is some justification in noting a substantive change in the way they act and a genuine change in their personality.
MORmONS would like to say that I have changed because I quit the MORmON church. That is merely an external manifestation of some relative events, but in reality, at my core, I have really stayed the same more than I have changed. MORmONS would like to say that I have gone to pieces and lost my integrity, which is NOT accurate, in fact the opposite - that my integrity is better than ever, is a more valid notion.
The truth was always very important to me. That has not changed, unless it has become an even stronger tendency. MORmONISM insisted that it was the supreme vanguard of the truth. That kept me on board with MORmONISM as long as MORmONISM could deceive me. The thing that changed was my ability to evaluate, perceive and determine facts. I developed in that regard, my core stayed the same, and my core attributes were more strongly reflected as channeled through my increased ability. Contrary to what MORmONISM would like to suggest, I got much stronger, NOT weaker. I was more successful, not more of a failure as I cut MORmONISM out of my life.
MORmONISM even trained me to attack apostate religions and liars when it managed to send me on a full time MORmON mission. That was a bad move for LDS Inc, even though I found a convert for LD$ Inc, because the convert was instrumental in helping me out of MORmONISM. It was a move about like Tommy Chong getting a Belgium Malinois because Tommy likes the dog's work ethic, so Tom thinks it will be good at protecting his dope stash and then Toms sends the dog to drug dog training school to sharpen it up. When the dog returns home, *somehow* there are some problems. Now, since I have quit MORmONISM, MORmONISM wants to cover it tracks by saying that I have changed. (yah, suddenly the prize Belgian Malinois turns out to be retarded!!!)
In reality, my (truth loving) essence did NOT change, in fact its just more fully manifested by my rejection of MORmONISM. Now I attack MORmONISM like crazy because doing so matches my natural tendency that was actually enhanced by my MORmON upbringing and training on a full time MORmON mission. IF any thing has changed, it is that I am just more of the person that I always was at my core. MORmONISM gets attacked by me because its the most relevant and most proximate apostate /corrupt religion in my life........ NOT because I changed and / or became diminished in some way as the MORmONS would like to suggest.
My wife at the time expected me to eventually be a leader in the MORmON church, even as I did not really aspire to such things because truth was my foremost objective and aspiration, NOT leadership callings. She had that expectation due in large part to LD$ posing and grandstanding about their supposed love, adoration and advocacy of truth coupled with my affinity / penchant for minimal BS. When I failed to get leadership positions because MORmONISM is much more about POSING and BS than anything else, she was deeply disappointed, ........she was peeved, and distraught. When I announced to her that I no longer believed in MORmONISM/ "THE" Church, she lost all care / respect for me, or more likely for her badly mistaken delusional perception of me. And to be perfectly clear about the matter, I did not tell her to come up with her version of me.
My exit from MORmONISM marked the beginning of the end of our (toxic) marriage, coming from her side. On my side of things, I was being even more analytic and a lot more of my actual self = a lot less of a MORmON. When it became apparent to me that my wife at the time had actually trapped me when we were married,
I lost all respect for her. That was the beginning of the end of our toxic marriage coming from my side of the matter.
A big crash was on the way in the middle of things.
In general terms all that she had ever done was lie to me, unfortunately for her I managed to figure that out. And all that I had ever done to her was to tell her the truth, no matter how painful it might be. Ironically, at one time, my preferred minimal BS approach to and handling of matters had made her love me, at another time it made her hate me, underneath all of these surface events, I was the same basic person that I always was and still am ...... and so is she. The fact that it took some time for that to become apparent is just a passing detail. It is NOT proof that anybody has changed.
Today, I admit that I am bitter, and I make no apology for that bitterness, and I have no plans to prematurely be rid of that bitterness because it serves as needed emphasis to me about a very important lesson about delusion, delusion that I refuse to accept, and that I feel better off with out.
She claims that she is not bitter....... at all.... because she is ( by her own supposition and pretense) too good of person to be bitter...... and nasty ...... and ugly, when in reality she is FAR MORE bitter than I am, no matter about the infinite amount of delusion that she has to spread over the top of her bitterness to try to cover up her bitterness. Delusion only goes so far, and it's NEVER far enough for me.
There was a change in our relationship. Our relationship ended up being renegotiated. The new terms were/ are: Get the Hell out my life and stay out!
Funny thing, our divorce / separation will be far more permanent than our phony stupid secret handshake based MORmON temple *eternal* marriage ever was or ever will be, and that is the case because I am the same basic person that I always was, not because I changed. I am NOT a MORmON, and I never really was in spite of any baptism and what ever else that the stupid ass MORmONS did and / or managed to cajole me into at one time or another in my vulnerable formative years, and much to MORmONISM'S chagrin I know that, AND because she has no clue who she really is, and she NEVER will know because she is such a MORmON with all of her shifting MORmON phoniness that is intended to fool others and that she can not manage to sift through herself, and that is "THE" chief aspect of her that will never change.