Has anyone here been widowed and treated the way Tommy Monson preaches that Mormons should treat widows?

My mother was widowed and nobody from TSCC even acknowledged her loss! She hasn't received one ounce of help or special attention from her ward. She's perfectly happy having them leave her alone but I cringe every time I hear the GA's preach about this.

The most I've ever seen is some Aaronic Priesthood ordered to shovel snow or mow grass for widows.

What have you seen as the norm?

Widower at age 48. Still am at 56. Was out of the church long before, though. However, I was still in my old east bench SL ward boundaries. No one bothered me with faux sympathy, though. I think they were afraid of me. lol

from what I've seen usually the ward will assign a "faithful" HT. I recall when my grandma was widowed she had a younger couple who were on their second marriage (in their 50's-60) come to visit. He sat there fondling his new wife. Hands way up on her thigh. I thought it was a bit much myself, a little uncomfortable.
It's often assumed that widows have their families that will take care of them. And often it is believed that widows are old and very rich so people don't feel obligated to help.

These are my observations.

Widows in my old ward were treated really well. Bishop and RS worked hard for them.

Sorry if this wasn't the case for you.

What about widowers!???

Widowers were looked after, too.

My grandma was inactive when my grandpa passed away, and her ward was awful. They stole lawn ornaments off of her property and gave them to other people, butchered her rose bushes, and broke her porch. This was under the guise of "service" that they were doing for mutual. The worst part was that they would just show up, no talking to her beforehand or even coming to the door to announce themselves! She called the cops a couple times and none of these people trespassing, stealing and damaging property saw what the problem was. Maybe it's silly, but Grandma spent a lot of money on those lawn ornaments and didn't really like waking up to find them all gone or destroyed.

She identifies as mormon casually, but can't stand religious people. I think she was given a much different flavor of TSCC than what I had growing up. I know the messages they're pushing now and the people drive her bonkers.

I think it is more generational than religous.

Growing up in the 60s widows were well looked after.

I doubt the bishop today could even name the widows in the ward.

As far as widowers, I attended a meeting with my cousin many years ago. The bishop thought I was moving there. They basically lined anyone in a skirt from 18 to 80 and told me to pick one.
Preferably one with a lot of kids that could use my wisdom and guidance.

for singles, divorcees, etc., when she became a widow in her 60s (7 years ago). Her husband was one of the prior bishops in the ward. She is a very fun and outgoing person and beautiful on top of that (she had some idiot ask her out on a date before the funeral--she turned him down flat and doesn't plan on dating at ever). Anyway, she said she has been relegated to the back bench with the other "singles" and it is as if she is invisible.

In our ex-ward, we had a rash of pancreatic cancer deaths. (Public Health should have examined that building).

Anyway, within weeks (yes, weeks) the greiving widower had a non-member hottie on his arm -- 20+ years younger than the dead wife, generally had larger boobs, snazzier clothes, and was clanking with jewelry.

The widowed sisters in the ward remained widows.