'Every Friday morning, a member of the Twelve sits in a relatively small room in the Church Administration Building to make assignments. We send a staff person over with the database, if you will, with all of those missionaries who are prepared to be called and they make the assignment. And the member of the Twelve makes them individually, one by one, based on very sparse information that we show them on a computer screen as to their health, any language training they've had perhaps in high school and that's about it.'
<Elder Richard G. Hinckley is a member of the First Quorum of Seventy of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and the executive director of its Missionary Department>

Okay let's do some math...
There are circa 55,000 proselyting missionaries out there at any given time serving a two year mission. So that equates to 27,500 mission 'calls' per annum.

There are 52 Fridays in any given year (give or take the odd one) including 'Good Friday'. So Mr One Of The 12 Apostles has to review and issue nearly 530 missionary applications every single Friday of the year.

Now Elder Hinkley says, the Apostle only spends 'every Friday morning' on the job, so being generous that's six hours (assuming an early start and no breaks). So each application gets approximately 36 seconds consideration.

Hmmm...



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 03/22/2011 07:39AM by jon.

It's totally bogus. There is no way any praying is being done for each call. In fact, I'll the only prayer is maybe a blanket prayer at the start of the process for the day.

Let's face it, the mission call system is completely computerized and only the *special* or *problem* calls are being looked at by the Apostle. That's probably giving them too much credit-the apostle probably just looks over a tally sheet and initials something. A couple of minutes tops, hence the every Friday morning.

They just don't want anyone questioning anything with the mission calls, so the whole process gets slapped with a holy label. That way it reduces questions and complaints. When your leaders decide something, the thinking is done.

Bow your head and say yes.

From what I read, maybe he looks over names of families he knows and gets them plum assignments. Thoughts?

Your math sounds good to me. I feel badly for those who go to a place where disease is rampant. I don't think those big guys care one bit.

Sorry, I was down mood and couldn't properly enjoy it at the time.

It's not a problem Cheryl.

Most of the time my comments are inappropriate anyway!

I don't think they pray about it at all. It seems too convenient when a language skill is listed in the application that the missionary ends up going where the language is used. Maybe it's to make it easier on the kid going out. IDK.

Funny story...my husbands mission call was addressed to the wrong guy, not my husband. My husband came home early, so I wonder what eventually happened to the kid who got my husbands letter...

the apostle is probably around to smack the 386 processor computer when it stalls. Or to blow the dust off the 5.25" floppy disk. they're probably playing oregon trail or number munchers while the computer spits out random assignments.

seriously, when has any missionary's previous language skills ever had anything to do whatsoever with the country he is assigned to?

I still adamantly believe that they send the less valiant elders stateside to keep an eye on them.

I second your belief. My Italian mission was full of some of the most stalwart guys I ever knew.

And we were constantly laden with guilt over our lack of success, telling us that it was our lack of faith that kept our numbers low, and the more faithful missionaries were in places like South America, Salt Lake City, or wherever else the lord was blessing.

Isn't it funny that the Lord is always blessing 'somewhere else'...

I know I felt that way about the state-side elders vs the European elders. I visa waited for 3 months state side and upon arriving in my proper mission in Europe it was a night and day difference in my mind.

It seemed the state side mission was filled with apostates (by Mormon missionary standards) who still miraculously were one of the highest baptising missions in the world whereas the more stalwart European missions got to beat each other up on not being worthy enough to bring the Lord's elect in. Stateside it was almost entirely UT/ID hicks whereas in Europe there was wider selection and quite a few BYU kids. However I do think being in a different culture does help you be more valiant as a missionary rather than being stateside in a culture and language you are already comfortable with.

I definitely found it funny that the stateside mission got 100 baptisms monthly whereas in Europe we were lucky to get 100 baptisms annually.

Back on topic, last April conference Elder Rasband gave a good description of what goes on in that little room when he and Elder Eyring were responsible for that week's batch of missionaries.

http://lds.org/general-conference/2010/04/the-divine-call-of-a-missionary?lang=eng

If the USA is completing 100 baptisms per month then why is the lds faith, all the way down the ladder so valiant that their is supposed to be baptisms daily. You'd think there were never any, the way these missionaries are ridden, daily.

eldermalin Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I know I felt that way about the state-side elders
> vs the European elders. I visa waited for 3
> months state side and upon arriving in my proper
> mission in Europe it was a night and day
> difference in my mind.
>
> It seemed the state side mission was filled with
> apostates (by Mormon missionary standards) who
> still miraculously were one of the highest
> baptising missions in the world whereas the more
> stalwart European missions got to beat each other
> up on not being worthy enough to bring the Lord's
> elect in. Stateside it was almost entirely UT/ID
> hicks whereas in Europe there was wider selection
> and quite a few BYU kids. However I do think
> being in a different culture does help you be more
> valiant as a missionary rather than being
> stateside in a culture and language you are
> already comfortable with.
>
> I definitely found it funny that the stateside
> mission got 100 baptisms monthly whereas in Europe
> we were lucky to get 100 baptisms annually.
>
> Back on topic, last April conference Elder Rasband
> gave a good description of what goes on in that
> little room when he and Elder Eyring were
> responsible for that week's batch of
> missionaries.
>
> http://lds.org/general-conference/2010/04/the-divi
> ne-call-of-a-missionary?lang=eng


His story is physically impossible given the sheer volume of calls being handed out. He'd have to do nothing else but handle mission calls. As MIB stated, its entirely automated, so this talk is a lie that stetches the imagination to believe.

I have this picture in my head of Mr Potter in "It's a Wonderful Life" making military assignments. " 1a, 1a, .....

My mission call was changed to a different one about a week or so before I was to leave. It was in the same country (Japan) but a totally different mission in the south. I thought WTH? If inspiration were involved why was my first letter wrong and the second right?

Being a brainwashed kid I just figured God knew all along that I would end up in the second mission.

The reality is that someone probably screwed up on the numbers that the mission presidents were requesting or something like that.

I had a friend who was in awe of the prophet's signature on his mission call because he knew that meant he'd been called of God. I still feel kind of bad for holding his call up to mine against the light to show him the exact match in the mechanically generated signature.

"I'll find you, my friend"...but first let me make a pre-MTC inquiry at the COB to get the facts on the assignment process. I mean, Idaho Boise Mission?...that smacked of random assignment from square one.

I also thought the signature was real. I still have my letter personally signed by SWK. Personally signed by a machine. I soon realized that SWK, and ETB were signing while blind or even comatose. How could I have been so stupid?

On my mission, I was executive secretary for six months, so I had access to a LOT of documents. And curious as I have always been, I loved going through all kinds of stuff.

In a drawer, we had copies of all mission calls ever issued to our mission. And I was shocked to see that a few reassignments had been made, because some missionaries initally assigned to our mission actually lived in the very CITY of our mission headquarters...

It sounds far-fetched, but I mean it. The whole process is so random that sometimes apostles end up sending missionaires across the street.

So these missionaries had to be reassigned before entering the mission field. So much for inspiration and divine callings... What a sick joke.

HAH-hah...

mission was headquartered. He was not reassigned, and spent his entire mission within 150 miles of his girlfriend and classmates.

I can't reveal my sources so I don't blame you if you don't believe me. Oh well. I have sources.

The mission call process is a computer algorithm that digitally sorts missionaries based on keywords and phrases. It has been for at least over a decade.

The system is not designed determine where a missionary should go. It is designed to determine where they should not go. It screens for things like mental illness, medical disabilities and other relevant data. An application with red flags goes to an additional screening system. Very few are actually read by a human being but some are.

Applicants are then placed (called) according to another function that determines what areas are best suited to the missionaries qualifications and where data crunch determines there will soon be demand.

The prophet's signature is digitally rubber stamped and the call is issued. In some cases, without ever being seen by a human.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 03/23/2011 06:56PM by The Man in Black.

I would like to believe this b/c it makes a lot more sense than having someone pray and "be inspired" about each "call".

The Man in Black Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I can't reveal my sources so I don't blame you if
> you don't believe me. Oh well. I have sources.
>
> The mission call process is a computer algorithm
> that digitally sorts missionaries based on
> keywords and phrases. It has been for at least
> over a decade.
>
> The system is not designed determine where a
> missionary should go. It is designed to determine
> where they should not go. It screens for things
> like mental illness, medical disabilities and
> other relevant data. An application with red flags
> goes to an additional screening system. Very few
> are actually read by a human being but some are.
>
> Applicants are then placed (called) according to
> another function that determines what areas are
> best suited to the missionaries qualifications and
> where data crunch determines there will soon be
> demand.
>
> The prophet's signature is digitally rubber
> stamped and the call is issued. In some cases,
> without ever being seen by a human.


That sounds completelly reasonable, sensible, and likely!

and then, on avg. every 3 mos. they get sent elsewhere and others replace them, the decision making, especially if computerized doesn't even get cold or turned off, huh?? don't they meet up @ one place in district and then sent w/their "new" companions??

Generally it's done by the mission president and his assistants every month. There aren't enough companionships or areas to make it worth computerizing that process.

if you are female. If you are male, unless you are part of the Mormon aristocracy, then you get what the computer spits out.

If you are female, they probably do spend all day looking over (pre-screened) applications to decide which ones get to go to Temple Square so they can look at them every day.

I studied Russian for two years in college and got sent to Argentina (and this was in 2002 when Americans were still going to Russia)... so I definitely don't think you're always sent depending on the language you learned.

I was overweight and not drop dead gorgeous so that's why I wasn't sent to a Visitor's Center. Because I had good grades I was sent foreign speaking. That's my theory. Oh well - I'm glad I went to a South American mission and not a European Mission one. Mind you I didn't baptize a lot of people, but we did teach at 10 lessons of some form a week. The little tracting we did stressed me out enough!

It was a mixed bag when it came to the quality of the missionaries. Some were stalwart, and others got sent home for sleeping with 14 year old girls :(

I was at a small fireside with then Elder Eyring (his daughter was in my ward at BYU, the fireside was with just our ward) when he described the process. He didn't get into too many details, but said that they sit in front of a computer and the picture as well as some information on the prospective missionary appear on one side of the screen, and missions that need additional missionaries appear on the right. They then assign the missionary to a mission and move on. Elder Eyring did state that he would sometimes feel prompted to change his mind or review some of the calls he made. He said he would ask for the complete paper file and take it home with him and pray about it, returning the next week with the inspiration of where they were to go.

I suspect there's some parts of that they're truthful about. Still 36 seconds per applicant to decide where among the many missions they must go?

I sense they still pad it with considerable amounts of bullshit to make it still look like its an actual selection process. I'm "inspired" to more believe MIB's story where most applications are processed on a computer without anyone ever actually seeing it.

Yeah, it definitely goes in batches and I noticed this at BYU in the dorms where people would get the same mission call during the week.
For example in my mind it would seem if the computer was going to sort you into the French speaking mission pile you'd get called to the French speaking mission whose turn it was to receive new missionaries that week.

I thought they used the iny meany mino mo method....or was that manny, mo, and jack, or larry, mo and curley joe....who knows???

You mean God didn't really personally need me in Saskatchewan?

Holy the Ghost Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> You mean God didn't really personally need me in
> Saskatchewan?


Probably because you could spell it.

Sasquatchewan
They really, literally believed that a cdn province was named for Bigfoot. No word of a lie.

Holy the Ghost Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Sasquatchewan
> They really, literally believed that a cdn
> province was named for Bigfoot. No word of a lie.


The thing is...after hearing about mor(m)ons, I absolutely believe you!

The formula is easy. Amount of tithe paid by parents is directly proportional to prestige of mission location. Special consideration is triggered by relation to Mormon power families.

It's so simple a computer can (and does) do it.

I have a poor relative whose two boys were sent to infectious third world countries where rebels wield machetes. Just anecdotal, I know.

Back when my brother was sent to Australia, my father was a big tithing and building fund contributor. (And a cheap bastard at home)