I know it's a long shot, but I'd really like to share a drink or two and shoot the breeze about exmo life and recovery with you if you are! I need more friends out here!!
Wish I was in that neck of the woods, but if wishes were horses, I’d be enjoying a plate of basashi with my beer.
Unless (and even if) someone else responds, you should go to a local Mormon church on a weekday evening and volunteer to teach one of their English classes. Later on, while you’re smoking and drinking at the izakaya with the students, you can tell them your exit story. You’ll make friends (most students are there because they want foreign friends), spread truth, and have lots of fun. Just make it clear that you’re not simply a ‘cool Mormon’, but that you left the cult and are now allowed to be happy.
Also, your fluency in Japanese isn't too important. It's hard to be worse than the missionaries, and the students' English fluency will rise with their BAC, right in line with Krashen's affective filter hypothesis. Still, if your Japanese is great, snag the lowest level class you can. They're more fun.
I live out in one of the cities in the suburbs to the west of the actual metropolis. It's close enough (about an hour or so) to all the convenience/excitement etc. but far enough away to be nice and quiet. Doesn't quite compare to my hometown in terms of nature, but the further you go out west the more you'll run into that.
I'm not gay, so I can't really say anything about what it's like to be so here, but from other teachers I've met, I've heard it's quite difficult (especially in more countryside areas) to be out in the open. Japan is still pretty backwards in terms of open acceptance of homosexuality, etc. and there are still defined gender roles for men and women, especially the older generation.
That said, I feel that the younger generation is getting more and more exposed to the rest of the world through the internet, but it will still take a while to catch up. The great thing about the culture in general though, is that people will for the most part keep their opinions to themselves. You don't bother them, they don't bother you kinda thing.
I'd be glad to answer any specific questions you have to the best of my ability. There are lots of resources and perspectives out there that can add to my narrow experience.
I do enjoy it! And with the Olympics in 2020 the fervor for English education is increasing (not so much the actual implementation but pretty much throwing native speakers at the problem and not doing any real reform, but that's another conversation). The yen is pretty weak though and we're still feeling Fukushima and Tohoku economically. I'm not an expert but life is pretty expensive here. They've recently raised sales tax as well. If you can afford it, I'd say youkoso :)
One of my adult children live in southern Japan. May migrate toward Tokyo, but that's a longshot for now.
Doesn't get into ex-Mormon stuff though. I tried, and was rebuffed. He doesn't understand why anyone would be "anti" Mormon.
I told him it isn't really "anti" Mormon, just "anti" cult, and that for some of us lifers it's refreshing to find other ex-Mos online because we are admittedly sparse in the "real" world.
Most of his friends are not religious. A few are Christian, a handful of Jewish and maybe Muslim. He isn't religious at all. But was my child who prayed each night at his bedside growing up, and cried over the same childhood book I did when I was a kid, "Where the Red Fern Grows." One of those books that's a life changer! The LDS (convert) author, Wilson Rawls, lived in Idaho Falls (my hometown,) for a while in the 1960's, and came to my school to give a talk to my creative writing class one day after hours on how he became an author (from laborer to overnight success with Red Fern. Quite an amazing rags to riches story.)
Johnny Whitaker would later star in the television version. And then later a movie was made early 1980's, and Disney made a remake maybe ten years ago.
There are a lot of ex-Mos in Tokyo. They are a pretty disparate bunch, though, and don't participate in these forums much. Most of them keep their distance from all things Mormon; Japan is probably an easy place to lose your Mormonism in since the religion is such a tiny part of the culture. I sincerely don't know how you'd go about meeting them.
Tokyo has changed enormously over the last few decades, as has Japan in generally. In the 1980s and 1990s, the vast majority of young people moved to Tokyo or a couple of other big cities. Then came the long recession, which killed the local economies, leaving marginal places that used to be dynamic virtually dead.
For people who were there 20 or 30 years ago, the Shibuya and Harajuku nightlife is essentially moribund. Demographic trends have killed the country. With a fertility rate of 1.37 kids per woman, the population is shrinking sharply and the number of kids in their 20s and 30s is much lower than it used to be. So the whole party culture is more or less dead.
Although dominated by old people, Tokyo is still a good place. It is modern, clean, easy to navigate, and civil if not friendly. Prices are a fraction of what they were before the long deflation. The recent yen depreciation has helped (if your income is in dollars) but has also brought in tons of tourists from China, making it hard to get a good hotel room. Tokyo also still has some places that are vibrant at night: Shinjuku is active, especially around Ni-Chome, the gay district.
I love Tokyo and go there frequently. I find the smaller cities in Kyushu, Hokkaido, Tohoku, even Kansai, pretty lifeless and boring. The capital, though, remains really attractive. It's just that anyone who visits after a long absence will find Tokyo and all of Japan relatively listless. The extreme sense of energy and optimism isn't really there anymore.