We've grown to love our tiny little Utah town since leaving Mormonism. Everyone is nice. We can get to know people at our own leisure, or we can just not get to know them if they're weirdos. It's not like that in the church. You don't get to choose whom you interact with. That is chosen for you in the form of "callings."

My heart broke for an immigrant woman--from Europe--a few days ago, who is in the other ward in town. She had no idea we left the church. It's not something I talk about unless someone asks. She said the people at church are terrible to her, and because we are move-ins, she wanted to know how we've learned to deal with it.

I told her I never had any major problems with the people. I told her that we left the church because of the doctrines and practices of the church, but that we love the people. I also told her that an added blessing was that we don't feel obligated to interact with backbiting, terrible people.

It only takes a small group of 4 or 5 prominent assholes to make the LDS Ward a miserable community. When you leave the church, you can love the people you want to love, and not pretend to care about the ones who treat everyone like shit. It's nice.

All I can do is agree with you. I've seen Mormon on Mormon hatred and backbiting in every single ward, family function, etc...

It's mostly all so petty stuff also. The way someone dresses, the kid whose hair is too long is a basis of judging him, his parents, his lifestyle, etc...

They didn't buy their wheat from the local Mormons, instead they bought a year supply of soy beans from outside?!?!

We always talk about sins of the father being passed down, but if a teen girl gets pregnant or a boy sent home from a mission... well any thoughts, hopes or ambitions that the parents had of getting a leadership position are practically gone (unless their name is one of the "golden" families).

It's all of this "hate" talk and bullying and down-right bigotry that causes a lot of Utah to have such high usage of anti-depressants, drug/alcohol abuse, teen suicides, etc...

I feel for her, because she is foreign, also unless her husband is part of the "Golden sovereign families of the ward she'll always just be a token.

I've said it too many times here but will write it again:

The most UN-CHRISTLIKE people I've ever met are MORMONS.

The most JUDGMENTAL people I've ever met are MORMONS.

It's disgusting. To me it's something the theology BREEDS into its people, and I always laugh when members or leaders of TSCC talk about "by the fruits you shall know them."

No shit. I know them more than I want to know them.

I feel bad for converts that come to Utah. I worked with a fellow from the east. He had been a member a few short years and transferred to N. Utah. He came with the idea that Utah was Zion and he would be happier around so many mormons, (since he believed the church). Management was very callous and uncaring, he had leg problems but they refused to accommodate and made him do very physical work. The ward he belonged to looked down on him discredited his opinion, questioned his worthiness because he was blue collar in a millionaire stake. The bishop would come up and wink at him and whisper "are you sure there is nothing you need to confess?"

He had live all over but Utah was certainly the meanest place to be. Numerous people have mentioned to me that Salt Lake is the weirdest place they had ever been to. It's like another planet.

"Yes bishop... I'm fucking your wife." Wink wink.

One of the main reasons I left the Mormon Church was over the way Mormons hate Mormons.The pettiness and mean spirited women who call themselves Women of Christ, yet behave like sorority b*tches was at times overwhelming. I felt the hatred from the leaders in Relief Society in particular and many other women I came to know personally after 40+ years of attending.

Reasons to hate:

You're judged by the man you marry.
The house you live in.
The clothes you wear.
The car you drive.
The church callings you've been given.
The way you bear testimony.
The type of friends you have.
The job you have.
The exterior of your home.
The interior of your home.
The way you cook.
The talents you posses.
The talents you don't posses.
Your children.
Your children's testimony.
If you're fat.
If you're thin.

Once you become part of the group you don't realize how petty you've become in the process and this type of behavior seems normal. You're entire sense of self worth and demeanor is completely negative, but this is acceptable behavior and socially you will go far when you use hate speech.

The Dark-side is strong in the LDS Church.

That's true, and if you don't have children right away after getting married, or find out you're infertile, you're judged harshly. You're also judged if you decide that children aren't for you for whatever reason.

When a woman gets a divorce, she's judged as the others in RS see her as a threat.

I concur. My TBM cousin hates her ward because she says the women are all super snobby & clique-y. They live in a starter area in Sugarhouse and most have prominent family names/connections to GAs. They eventually move to the more ritzy areas in Sugarhouse. My cousin was never able to have children of her own, but has adopted 3 little boys who all have disabilities. She says they are not treated kindly by anyone in their ward and her oldest son especially hates church because of the bullying. I feel so bad for her because she is a very kind, genuine person. It really hurts her to be surrounded by these bitches.

That's where I am too. People in my former ward are nice but I was always being excluded. There's no place for anyone different or for people who think outside the box. If your sister doesn't mind an exmo friend I have five kids who don't care about disabilities and make friends with everyone.

Oh I meant cousin.