I blew them off for good last Saturday and when I walked into their Ward Missionary Meeting tonight the looks on their faces were just priceless. If looks could kill, do you know what I mean?
Let's not discuss how much of a torment it was to listen to them plot how they were going to torture'investigators' and inactives for an hour and a half. Besides, I spent most of the time staring at pictures of the GAs thinking "You Dirty Old Pig Fuckers" and about how much Monson looks like Mr. Burns from the Simpsons.
One big take-away some of you might be interested in is that they are going to start assigning inactives to feed the Missionaries. Yes, because they want Missionary meals to be spiritual events, not just opportunities for the mishies to get a nurishing home-cooked meal. You got to remember who we're dealing with here folks.
So some of y'all don't be suprised if the Mishies call up and invite themselves over for dinner sometime soon. Ain't that some bullshit?
That is the easiest thing to cure in the world. When told you are going to feed the missionaries, get all excited and tell whomever is doing the assigning that you would LOVE to have the missionaries over, you can't wait to tell them why they are wasting their time, what the church is lying about, how the doctrine is so messed up and how they should go back home, go to college or get a job, sleep with their girlfriend and drink beer while watching football. Tell the assignment Nazi that if they give you enough time to plan, you can get a Baptist (Buddhist, Jewish, Catholic) leader over who is well-versed in debunking Mormonism and have a really great conversation. Or maybe some hot girls, to get a start on that girlfriend idea. Ask the Assn. Nazi if either of the boys are over 21 and if you should get wine in or coffee. Lots of ideas.
Mormons are so clueless to have a plan like this, it makes me laugh and then want to clonk them over the head with their own Books of Mormon.
DH is technically less-active so I'll be waiting. Waiting with the CES letter and other "anti-literature". Followed by a yummy dinner marinated in booze and after dinner we'll have coffee.
brothernotofjared Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > One big take-away some of you might be interested > in is that they are going to start assigning > inactives to feed the Missionaries.
Yes, the mormon solution to everything -- assign people to do things they don't want to do.
Nothing like getting a two-fer for TSCC. Torture/punish inactives while torturing missionaries at the same time when their dinner invite turns out to be a no show. Mormon leadership is awesome.
These cunning plans and policies have been around for decades and they just get recycled in each ward every few years to try and make the leaders think they are actually doing something to make a difference.
About dinners for missionaries -- I remember a calendar being passed in RS etc. for members to sign up to feed them. We were supposed to have an investigator also.
We didn't "assign" families to feed the missionaries but we pretty much did. In Ward Council we would find a a couple of families who were missionary friendly then the RS president would casually call, tell them we were filling up the month for missionaries dinners and if they'd like to help out. And there you have it, the big missionary moment.
I'm embarrassed to say I did some of those calls myself at some point. But yeah it's been done here in Southern Ontario, Canada, for some years now.