Others in the faith have had different experiences. I loved art and I loved writing. I felt called of God to be an artist or a writer. But then I would read the qualifying remarks of General Authorities about family first and how easy it is to be deceived by your own desires, and the Spirit might tell you that something is true, but you don't know if it will happen now, later in life, or in the next life. I did not want to give up these passions while I was on a mission. Part of me rebelled against the idea.

I thought to myself that rule was unrighteous dominion on the part of the leaders. I put off leaving. I had a deep friendship with an apostate young woman. I had a "worthiness" issue that the bishop had said I was cleared of but I wasn't sure if the Lord had cleared me. But when my dad asked me why I was waiting to go on a mission I turned in my papers. I didn't pack any art supplies or musical instruments. On my mission I only wrote an occasional religious poems, no secular poems. I spent my mission fatigued and depressed. I fought suicidal and morbid thoughts the whole time. Like I couldn't get images of the bus I was on crashing and carnage ensuing. Just sad and tired all of the time. when I got home I couldn't paint or write anything good, then it was time to prepare for fatherhood.

A very common story I think.

Praise

Have you now overcome that block, and are able to be creative again?
I hope so.

Thank you.

I ran out of time and cut this off and posted it without finishing. The post above happened 20+ years ago. I went from mission to marriage, 2 instant step kids (Who I love dearly and am thankful for), full-time school, and full time work. I bought the line that I had to be the sole breadwinner, so I often had a full and a part time job. I squeezed in creativity when I could.

I'm mid forties now. My kids are grown. I'm clearing out more time to work. I'm conscious that I haven't put in the hours in a focused and organized way to be where I want to be creatively. But I am throwing myself into it and I am going to enjoy pursuing my creative interests with whatever time I have left.

Creative people need art, music, and literature like they need air. Pour some of that pain into writing and music... The church robbed you of time, talent, joy...

Church hymns sound like funeral songs because joy is absent from most Mormon services/members. They aren't aware of it but it is glaringly obvious to others.

Hoping you get your creative mojo back! =)

Ex-Sis Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Creative people need art, music, and literature
> like they need air. Pour some of that pain into
> writing and music... The church robbed you of
> time, talent, joy...
>
> Church hymns sound like funeral songs because joy
> is absent from most Mormon services/members. They
> aren't aware of it but it is glaringly obvious to
> others.
>
> Hoping you get your creative mojo back! =)

I've found all of this to be true. And thanks for the encouragement!

Religion aside, sometimes we just get caught up in life's 'other' demands, and our hobbies and talents may suffer because of family responsibilities and other pressures like the bills that have to be paid and other sundry challenges.

Doing what you really love to do though now that you're back from a mission, if you haven't already gotten into a "groove," could be as simple as going back to school and majoring in whatever rocks your boat.

If you love creative arts and writing, that's something you still can excel in, or at least concentrate in for a major. Then you can take your skills &/or your degree and put it to work in something as simple as teaching art or writing.

My oldest brother came back from his mission, and within a matter of months was married, like a good little Mormon boy. He started his family right away, and his degree from BYU was placed on hold indefinitely.

After the children were still young, he mustered up the will and fortitude or whatever it took, to pack his family up and move back to Provo from Idaho, to resume his schooling several years later. He changed his major from Business to Psychiatric Social Work, and finished his 4 year degree, then went on for a Ph.D.

He was never an artist like you, but he finally found his mojo, it just took him some time.

Don't give up on your dreams. Grandma Moses loved to paint as a young woman. Then she got married at 22, lived on a farm, and had five children. She had NO as in ZERO time to paint for the next 50 YEARS! Finally, in her retirement, after things wound down on the farm, after her children were raised, and she had time to pick the brush up again - her most prolific paintings happened while she was in her 70's.

There have been studies to show that creative artsy people are their most productive during their 70's for some reason. So, for Grandma Moses, the timing just worked out in her favor.

Thanks.
My kids have just all moved out. I do feel like I can still do this.

Dreams deferred.

Good god what a poignant definition of the acceptance of Mormonism.

It’s not just the creative types whose dreams and aspirations are put away until they arrive at the celestial kingdom.
It’s regular folks too (whatever that means).

We wanted to become pilots, own and operate a balloon ride, sail the ocean, live with elephants, decipher the sounds in the sea, invent or study atomic manipulation to cure disease, work with a team to create the next Space drive system. There are no ends to the dreams we had.

What were we sold? Suffering, sacrifice and testing to be sure we had sacrificed enough to get the reward, that maybe, if we were righteous enough and had followed the rules and have been ultra-obedient, just maybe we would be able to fulfil those dreams in heaven.

So we sent in our protection money to keep those far off heavenly dreams alive and drudged down the road fulfilling the never ending real life mantra of Mormonism’s version of enduring to the end.

Dreams deferred? Dreams stolen by lies and lying liars and those who know not they are lying in their personal selfish road to the celestial kingdom, a place that never was or will ever be.

Thank God I never got any important "calling". I am in my office with over 1000 books, art works, cameras, and have been able to be creative. True, I've never had much money and we have lots of children and grand-children - but I never allowed anything to rid me of creativity. In 32 years of membership I only got called upon to speak twice - though I have books of my speeches outside of TSCC. I also could read for pleasure and knowledge - never reading the BoM (except once - after 25years - it being so badly written). Refusing to read the BoA and quickly concluding the D&C was garbage). My visio