I recently left a little Baptist church and people all of a sudden want to bring meals and have me over or go for coffee. Apparently, they are also discussing me. So, this behavior is not only for Mormons. I do like all of these people, I'm just tired of religion.

I wonder (considering you live in Utah), if there might be a lot of ex-mormons in your congregation. Maybe they are rehashing their old habits.

I'm tired of all people are suddenly friendly, but have hidden agendas. The good thing about a Mormon background is that it makes it really easy to spot those people.

Some people were former Mormons and the others were always some flavor of Christian. I'm with you on only being friendly with a hidden agenda. There is only one person out of the group that has been my friend consistently and I know our friendship is more than religion. The rest of the crowd just don't want me leaving. I love other people easily and freely so it's hard walking away from a group knowing I may never see some of those people again.

No, love bombing is not exclusively a Mormon thing (it is, however, and exclusively ignorant thing). Neither is shunning or nastiness when you depart.

We attended a little non-denominational church for a couple of years. They really love-bombed us in the beginning, and also after we left. We realized after about a year that we didn't really like it, but the youth program really was good for our kids. Sound familiar? ;-) We stuck around for another year, so the kids could continue to participate. In truth, it was good for them, but they outgrew it. We tried some other churches and they had no interest in the youth activities any more.

Anyway, after we left, we'd get Facebook posts like, "hey, miss you guys! Why don't you come to our (super cool special event) next Sunday?" We'd respond with, "miss you too. Love to have you over for dinner some time." These would go unanswered, but we'd get the periodic invitations, essentially to "come back." Apparently their "missing" of us only extended to church events that we should attend...

By the way, this was a modern incarnation of the church where Sidney Rigdon came from: The Independent Christian Churches and Churches of Christ, one of the schisms within the Restoration Movement's Church of Christ (in fact, the church whose name they tried to misappropriate). So, perhaps I shouldn't be surprised that some of the cultural behaviorisms are shared.

Shallow friendship sucks and how do religious people not see that it's disengnuious and hurts people?

It certainly isn't exclusively a Mo thing. Some of the small number of evangelical churches I tried (including three flavors of Baptist), back when I gave a crap about religion, featured the love carpet bombing work. Others were cold or outright hostile. The most genuine, as in not obnoxious but trying to be friendly and inclusive, was an Anabaptist sect. Though I will likely never go back, they were good people, and I truly admire their quiet, dignified love for others.

Where I am now, I sincerely don't care about being part of a religion (any religion) and, frankly, I never liked the social aspect of religion. I know losing that is a big blow to some folks, and I intellectually get how that can be devastating, but for me it was always the hardest thing to overcome. Now that I think religious belief is a steaming pile of horse manure, it is much easier to say "no thanks". ;)

I like the positive social aspect but not the pushing-you-to-conform- love bombing crap. I'm also starting to think religion is a steaming pile of poo.

Socialization is a part of the church meetings.

People are like pack animals. That's why we congregate here online.

That's why some people attend services, despite beliefs. Just because they need the social outlet.

Some attend for faith alone, and the social follows. It just depends on what you want out of the whole experience of fellowshipping.

I wouldn't write them all off as insincere because of the negative Mormon experience.

Some may be struggling with their faith like you are. Some may be genuinely concerned about you, and trying to show you they care.

Some may be practicing their faith the best way they know how.

Mormons didn't invent "Do unto others, as you would have them do unto you." Or, "Love one another as I have loved you."

That's pretty universal in Christian-Judeo teachings.

I am not writing them all off, just the ones who are doing things just to keep me in.

I've never experienced that behavior in any church (New England and the mid-Atlantic.) It may happen on occasion, but I don't think it's the norm.

Neither has my DH and he's technically still Mormon.

Or perhaps some Baptists are similar to Mormons.

This didn't happen to me when I left the UU Church. People remained friendly and seemed glad DH and I were doing what was best for us.

Cheryl Wrote:
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> Or perhaps some Baptists are similar to Mormons.
>
^^^ I think you're right. It's nice to know there are churches out there aren't pushy and accept you and respect your choices.