http://exmormon.org/phorum/read.php?2,1672822

and

http://exmormon.org/phorum/read.php?2,1597568,1597568#msg-1597568

and
http://exmormon.org/phorum/read.php?2,1680982,1682304#msg-1682304

Thanks for the wonderful advice that I get, sorry that I am venting too much, but keep in mind that my wife in pregnant and I was my fault, I said yes to my mother in law, I let her move with us.
more updates
She has not find a job yet, she is getting discourage, and she is going to talk to the Bishop so maybe he can help.(I dont know how)
She went to LDS job services and she was surprise for the lack of help she got.
She wants to get married and find a rich Mormon husband so he can take care of her, it has to be good looking, super tmb.
She complain about me to my wife because she said I am against religion, I am against organize religion, but the thing that really hurt me the most is that my wife did not defend me, she took the complain and did not do anything. That piss me off.
She ask if she can watch the general conference this weekend in the living room even though she has a tv in her room.

Suggest you tell her, "Be my guest!" Then take your wife out to a nice dinner and a movie. Stay gone until you and your wife are ready to go to bed.

Also, I think you should give your wife the benefit of the doubt.

When you allowed your mother-in-law from hell to move into your house, you put your wife in between you and the MIL from HE// at a time when she (wife) is emotionally vulnerable. She absolutely can't win.

Tell your wife how you feel and where your boundaries are with regard to you MIL and what you are going to do. Then, dispassionately and calmly, let the MIL know when she passes those boundaries.

So take your wife out of that tough spot as often as you can. Build the relationship between the two of you and let the MIL get along as best she can.

That is very good advice. Your wife has had a lifetime of dealing with this impossible woman and is out of steam. So don't put more pressure on your wife. I am not sure how you are going to so,be this problem but I can't imagine your wife wants her there any more than you do but she is backed into a corner.

Boundaries! This woman is never going to respect you so you don't have to play nice because you don't even want to be on her good side. Tell her that she cannot complain about you in any fashion as long as she is living in your home. Let her know that she is not entitled to live there. You can get a restraining order and kick her out anytime you damn well please.

If you don't say anything or do anything, then YOU are enabling her behavior. This is akin to complaining that your child cries so much at checkout for a piece of candy that the only way to shut him up is give him a piece candy. You're not going to get a lot of sympathy from people if you don't take some significant action. Set up a goal. Give yourself one week to do something! Not have her do something like talk to her bishop, YOU do something! Promise us that you won't post until you do something and let us know how it goes so we can praise you for taking some form of action.

southernutah Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> She has not find a job yet, she is getting discouraged

She did find a job. However, she quit because she wasn't getting along with her boss. I wish I had that luxury.

Almost everyone has to suffer with unreasonable bosses at times. It's foolish to storm off the job with nowhere to go except for imposing on unwilling relatives. That makes it harder to land the next job and undermines family relationships. The alternative is to stay on the job and make the best of it until something better is evident.

One more thought for the OP:

As an experienced teacher, you MIL can *easily* find work as a substitute teacher with local school districts (which pay better) as well as private schools. That way "getting along with the boss" will no longer be an issue. She can pick and chose the schools that she will work for. Even being choosy, I still worked an average of 4-5 days a week for the two years that I worked as a sub. And without exception, every principal I worked for as a sub was nice and accommodating. They have to be, because subs are in demand. Another advantage is that the work load for a sub is much lighter than for a regular teacher. At the end of the school day, she is out the door just a few minutes after the kids.

I would insist that she start substitute teaching right away. The local school district will need to do a background check, and then she should be good to go. Tell her that she needs to start bringing in an income and providing for herself.

Find out what the daily pay is for a sub, and budget for her housing from there. It might be a room somewhere or a modest apartment. I would also get her on the list for subsidized housing in your area if that is an option. Pay the first couple of months rent and let her figure it out from there.

Option B -- Tell her that she's had a nice visit, but now it's time to go visit another relative. Have her make arrangements and put her on the bus, train, or plane.

southernutah Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------

> She wants to get married and find a rich Mormon
> husband so he can take care of her, it has to be
> good looking, super tmb.
>

Here's a suggestion.

Watch the obits for one of a woman about her age. Get dolled up and go to the funeral. Pretend to have known the deceased and give personal condolences to the widower. Follow up with a note, phone call, drop off cookies,.....

Creepy I know but I know a couple of women who found a new husband that way.

I think it is beyond creepy. It shows how seriously messed up the whole cult-ure is.

That sounds bat-shit crazy.

And very cunning. For someone to pull something like that off suggests a sociopath of the highest order.

Or someone so desperate they're willing to do anything to get a husband.

They invited father in law to call them for comfort, good cooking, and friendly conversation.

They obviously didn't know that father in law had only a few weeks to live.

The notes came to my address because their house had been sold and they hadn't been receiving their own mail for many months.