Could you ever fogive the mormon church and what it has done to your life and family???? AND....What would that church have to do to or for you, for you to forgive them???
It's hard to forgive a perpetrator that keeps on perpetrating. I'd like to be able to say that it's all in the past, but for the Mormon church it's not all in the past. They're still doing it. So, no. I can't forgive them.
I think a case could be made that being "kind" is to protect friends, family and others from harm, including the harm done by religious organizations like TSCC.
Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 03/23/2011 11:28AM by MJ.
I consider kindness to be one of my core values. I am not sure that Kindness is the charactor trait that I am working on in my struggle to take back any energy/personal power that I have given TSCC by maintaining resentments. The trait that I am having to work on is WILL. To forgive them is an act of will for me. I say it to myself.. I take back whatever I gave them- whatever they took.
I get my peace. They can have their dysfunction.
I can more easily forgive what was done to me. The failure of the TSCC to follow their own rules on reporting sexual abusers and the failure to put consequences in place for leaders who fail to follow the rules.. well- there is no justice in this world for the pain that my daughter- It has destroyed families... another grandchild who was molested.. her parents are divorcing... another granddaughter is going off the deep end because her parents believe in magic blessings instead of counseling. All because the FIRST and SECOND priesthood leader/bishop/stakepresident decided to talk to him weekly and listen to his crocodile tears of sorrow and repentance instead of reporting him. A misdemeanor became multiple first degree felonies. Heinous felonies. Multiple victims. Each time he got away with it he felt empowered to do more. He is in prison. And it only cost me my family- my husband all of his siblings and his mother and my daughter her innocence.
Im a kind person. I have been able to FORGIVE my father in law and tell him so. Forgiving his enablers is taking me a little longer. I am doing it for ME.. daily its an act of WILL.
The church itself - the leaders who perpetuated the lie and manipulated people in the name of God... no, not so much forgiveness there.
The members who were so rude to me ... I'm working on it. The books I'm reading on cults and brainwashing are really helping because I'm realizing WHY they act as they do. Knowledge is power.
The people I'm really close to who were nasty to me in order to defend their cult ... well, the jury is still out on that one. Mostly I'm just done with them. It's not so much love or hate but indifference. I'm just done with them.
That's kind of like asking me if I'm going to be "kind" and "forgive" the Red Cross for using Hurricaine Katrina funds elsewhere. It's an organization and is in no way impacted by my forgiveness or unforgiveness.
Now when it comes to individual relationships, those are a give and take situation that have to be evaluated on a case by case basis. And "forgive" doesn't mean, "set yourself up for more abuse".
Just a thought.
On the other hand, as a never-Mo agnostic I am constantly amused when religious people accuse me of being bitter and angry against God. Seriously, it's a hysterical accusation. One of these days I'm going to have to get over the Tooth Fairy stealing my baby teeth too. ;)
BTW, my sister accused me of being angry at God, too, after I stopped believing in him. I was thinking "HUH?". How can I be angry at a non-existent dude? Makes no sense at all, but I guess it made HER feel better to say it.
That got programmed with the wrong code, and has a bunch of amateur hacks running it.
I don't see it as something or someone that I COULD forgive. Or hold a grudge against. It's just an "it". Yeah, I get upset when this or that leader does something that will hurt others. But I don't blame members, my parents, or leaders who are just as duped as I was. They are victims of the lies, just as I was.
The only ones I get pissed at are the ones who deliberately lie (cover up the past) or are controlling and abusive. I guess if J.S. or B.Y. were still alive I might be angry at them, but they are long gone.
get her done Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Could you ever fogive the mormon church and what > it has done to your life and family???? > AND....What would that church have to do to or for > you, for you to forgive them???
> Could you ever fogive the mormon church and what it has done to your life and family????
No.
>AND....What would that church have to do to or for you, for you to forgive them???
Nothing.
This is a cult. There isn't anything to forgive. They are designed to make money and keep the sheeple working for them, so there is nothing they could do that would justify forgiveness.
They are liars. Do you forgive a lying cult for the damage it's done?
I do not believe in the xstian definition of forgiveness, especially when it results in tacit support of the business-as-usual ways of a destructive organization. Also, TSCC's effects in my life will be ongoing until I die, unless I can support myself. As long as I have constant reminders of the cult, I have PTSD, and pain. If I can cope, I think of ways to remove the pain, but not by pretending it away.