I just exchanged emails with my childhood friend and BYU Freshman roommate, whose name I will change to Stan, who is a Stake Clerk in a California.

==== Stan wrote to beyondashadow:

In presidency meeting yesterday we were discussing how at a prior stake conference the visiting general authority said how there would be issues arise that will separate those who are well grounded in the Church from those living on borrowed light and how this issue seems to be the one that’s doing it. It takes an understanding of the Plan of Salvation to relate to the Church’s position on gays. They are welcome in the church as long as they don’t act on their sexuality, just the same as unmarried individuals. Any sexual relations outside the bounds of the church’s definition of marriage is considered sin which must be repented of to stay in good standing in the Church.

There are multiple support groups in the church these days to deal with all sorts of worldly problems such as different forms of addiction, abuse, homosexuality. These are amazing in helping people to better understand and take advantage of Christ’s atonement. I’ve heard amazing testimonials from numerous participants. I can’t say it always reverses homosexual tendencies, but helps people deal with it better in the context of the gospel. I’ve personally seen people addicted to pornography and related actions who have turned their lives around and are helping others do the same. The Church has an entire website devoted to pornography and how to deal with it.

Not saying you need it but to see an example of what they’re doing to address these types of problems: overcomingpornography.org .

Take care,

-Stan

==== beyondashadow's reply to Stan:

Hi, Stan,

Thanks for the additional perspective from a visiting GA. I found that helpful. Yes, even from the outside, the Handbook news is perceived as a strong measure to 'separate the wheat from the tares". I think it will quite effectively achieve that end, to be honest. And I think that is a good thing.

Comparing gays to unmarried heteros is apples-to-oranges, of course. Heteros are not forced to choose between celibacy and ecclesiastical condemnation, as are gays. Hopefully The Brethren have graduated themselves from believing that homosexuality is a choice. You may be aware of the SSA aversion shock therapy that was taking place in BYU basements while you and I were there, and much later as well. Needless to say, it did not work. Pretty much nothing works to alter innate sexual preference.

Grouping homosexuality into the same bucket as self-destructive addictions is wrong headed, imo. I am sure that support groups can really help those with self-destructive proclivities. It would be fair to say that support groups virtually NEVER truly reverse SSA. And to be realistic, sexual preference is not a black and white attribute. There seems to be a continuum across the spectrum, with 'bi' there in the middle somewhere. It would make sense for someone towards the middle to consciously eschew SSA with success, but for those at the extremes, not so doable.

Here is a litmus test for you, Stan. What if you were required to either be celibate or marry a dude and have sex with him .... in order to keep your Temple Recommend and not trash your personal salvation? Your gut reaction to that thought is no different than how a gay Mormon sees his or her alternatives ... staying in the Church. Think about that. It's a good way to empathize more fully with Mormon gays.

And then ask yourself, "Hmmm. What would Jesus do here?" Do not forget that Jesus fulfilled the Law, and that not everything in the Old Testament still applies. Viewer discretion is advised.

I totally understand your perspective from True Believing Member. I shared that same perspective up until 35 years ago, and I have not forgotten what it (Follow The Brethren) felt like. I am offering my comments above to help you understand that it's possible for thinking, feeling, decent human beings to simply disagree with The Brethren for ostensibly good reasons.

I have enjoyed our exchange, Stan. We'll keep in touch, I'm sure.

Thanks much,

-beyondashadow

A very interesting perspective. My wife said basically the same thing to her TBM sibling. The sibling had an aha moment.

Reading your friend's email to you gave me the creeps. It was so cultish, and while I have been watching the latest episode of NCIS:LA which is dealing a cult (thinly veiled Scientology)