Cont from preceding thread on helpful tool "Emotional Intelligence is Learned Behavior" see, http://exmormon.org/phorum/read.php?2,1756617

"Why Your Emotional Intelligence is More Important Than Your IQ"

"While most researchers say that an individual’s performance in life is determined by both their IQ and EQ, there is evidence that IQ only accounts for a small percentage of that. Only around 10 to 25-percent of the equation in fact, which leaves EQ responsible for an incredible 75-percent or more of a person’s ability to succeed. For this reason, many companies have started giving applicants EQ tests before hiring them. Other companies have instituted EQ training programs in the workplace.

When I was in retail business, one of the rules I lived by when hiring someone for an entry level position was – “Hire for personality; train for skill”. That basically means that you can train someone in the technical skills they need to perform a job, but you can’t train a persons personality.

Why the emphasis on EQ? Simply put, a person with a high EQ is better to work with in a team environment. They can relate to others and are more approachable.

Several studies have also shown that those with high EQ scores perform better in the workplace, make better leaders, are more self confident, are trustworthy, and are just more likeable than those with low scores. All of these factors lead to an increase in productivity and sales across the board.

"The Five Categories of EQ ~

There are five categories of EQ, and once you understand them you will begin to realize why having a great deal of emotional intelligence makes a huge difference in how well someone performs in life and at work. Following are the five categories and how they affect one’s personality:

Self Awareness – In order to control your emotions, you must be aware of them. This is where self awareness comes into play. Those who are self aware are able to tune into their emotions, which makes them more confident about what they can do and what they have to offer.

Self Regulation – If you’re not in control of your emotions, you can become combative in the workplace or resistant to change. Those who can control their emotions, however, avoid the temptation to indulge impulses, take responsibility for their own actions, adapt well in the face of change, and are open to new ideas.

Motivation – Those who are unmotivated rarely meet goals. However, motivated individuals are constantly striving to improve, to meet the next milestone. They are also less likely to get discouraged when faced with setbacks or opposition. Motivated individuals make great salespeople and are often the morale boosters of an organization.

Empathy – Empathy is the ability to recognize how people feel and how your actions can affect them. Those with empathy are perfect for the service sector, and they also make great mediators and negotiators. Since they can pick up on how others feel, they are in a better position to motivate them.

Social Skills – Social skills are important regardless of what type of career you have. Successful people communicate effectively. Great communicators are needed for conflict management, team management, leadership roles, and tasks where cooperation is necessary.

http://www.mindset-habits.com/emotional-intelligence/

I know my brother had a remarkable disposition and a high EI when he was suffering from cancer for 18 months between the ages of 4 1/2 and 6 years old, that ultimately took his life.

He was a yogi, in his own way.

He taught my parents and us more about long suffering and how to be a loving person despite a terminal illness eating away his insides, it only made him better not bitter.

So you might say he was born with it. It wasn't something he had time to cultivate. He just had a gift of having a sweet disposition and a loving temperament right up to his dying day.

I would hope you could train for both skills and EQ. But for MDs I want compassion mixed with scientific knowledge. For scientists, scientific method with a splash of empathy. IOW, each to their own best needs according to their space.

"Goleman’s research in his book, Working with Emotional Intelligence, indicated that EI accounted for 67% of the abilities deemed necessary for superior performance in leaders, and mattered twice as much as technical expertise or IQ.

Other research finds that the effect of EI on leadership and managerial performance is non-significant when ability and personality are controlled for, and that general intelligence correlates very closely with leadership.

Criticisms have centered on whether EI is a real intelligence and whether it has incremental validity over IQ and the Big Five personality traits. Review finds that, in most studies, poor research methodology has exaggerated the significance of EI."

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Emotional_intelligence

(when researching something, it's wise to look at ALL the research, not just the stuff that confirms what you already believe)

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Emotional_intelligence#Criticisms_of_theoretical_foundation

These all sound much more like personality characteristics, under the OCEAN model, specifically openness, conscientiousness, and agreeableness. I get to study personality theories in depth this semester, something I'm very much looking forward to. After a few chapters. class discussions, and personal mulling, I'll have a more well informed opinion on the subject.

I'm going to write a paper on OCEAN this semester, and possibly compare it to two other personality models, so I get to do lots of research on the subject, yay! :)

Although I did very well my first year in high school in Social Studies, I do not pretend that this class, 1958-1959, gave me any foundation for the Social Sciences. I barely even believe in being Social.

It's easy to make a case for being leery of assigning a number to "intelligence" and stating as fact that the higher the IQ, the, what?? Smarter, better, cuter, more ripe, more interesting, exciting,... What?

All the following seem to be measures that some people have and some people, not so much:

Self Awareness –

Self Regulation –

Motivation –

Empathy –

Social Skills –

Can you train for them? What if it depends on your IQ?



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/18/2016 08:10PM by elderolddog.

A professional weighs in on how it really isn't difficult to teach (especially in children as his focus,) and to just give it time to develop emotional health. Kids learn from modeling and mirroring neurons - especially in early childhood from watching other kids and adults in their environment behavior. Caring and having empathy seem to be the big ingredients to developing it in our young. :)

https://youtu.be/QOSgpq9EGSw

I'm not "intelligent" enough to delve into everything you've posted. What I do know is what my therapist has told me and, like I've said, he is one of the most intelligent people I know and has researched everything he talks about extensively. He speaks nationwide on some of these subjects and I've been seeing him for over 17 years off and on, early on twice a week.

I can't explain what he told me, but he has explained to me the characteristics of someone with emotional intelligence. Just like people with IQ, there are several different levels of EQ and how people deal with it. For myself, and he has told me I have high EQ, I read people well, too well (in person). It is very difficult on me to be out in public. My son is the same. Since I'm not social, I retreat. I'm actually someone that people stop in stores all the time--total strangers, and have me help them pick out of all things dog food (just yesterday). My son and brother are overwhelmed by their feelings. My brother went from a forklift driver to a plant manager with a GED because of his workers being so devoted to him because he CARES and they know it, and yet it has taken a huge toll on my brother.

My therapist is a good friend with John Dehlin and says that John Dehlin has EQ in spades and he wishes that he had the EQ John has.

I'd never doubt anything my therapist has told me. As I've said, he is probably the most intelligent person I know and never says anything he hasn't researched well. One of the reasons we talked about EQ is because my boyfriend has a very high IQ, but not a very high EQ, so he has helped me to understand my boyfriend better using EQ versus IQ.

So, you can read all you want on the internet. My therapist has read actual publications such as books from authorities on the subject. I'll have to ask him next time I see him what he thinks of your take on EQ. If EQ can be changed, what about IQ. He says it is impossible.

I'm interested to hear more if you find out anything additional. I've studied these subjects also, but is not my focus in therapy. Caring and empathy seem to be central to having higher EQ levels, which you clearly do.

It seems more plausible that those things are or could be malleable in that someone with the right motivation can increase their capacity for empathy or compassion.

I've seen it happen before, maybe not as often as I'd like. If there was more EQ in society to match "IQ," perhaps we'd have a more loving and genteel civilization than we do.

For IQ there are ways to increase it in early childhood, I learned as a young mother. Listening to Mozart is one way to increase it in infants and young children. We didn't spend much time listening to Mozart while my children were growing lol. More like the Kaycee Kason top 40. Today one prefers symphony music and the other orchestrated anime.

The one thing I did for my kids that was supposed to really elevate their IQ's. And I may never know whether it did or not, because theirs wasn't measured before or after. It was just giving them children's multi-vitamins, once a day.

They had a vitamin a day regardless, because it was important to me for their overall health. Then I learned from a study in the 90's that multi-vitamins increases a child's IQ by 40 points, on average! I was stunned to learn that.

I've heard lately that, just as my parents always suspected, there is a lot to be cautious of in the supplement industry. My sis finally convinced me to take calcium and Vit D and almost the very next day after I bought the stuff a huge and scientific study came up with the gross facts - there ain't no there there in many of the well accepted brand name products.

Sheesh.

But never in my life have I heard that you can increase anyone's IQ by 40 points through supplements. If so, honestly, wouldn't they be mandatory with mother's milk, if not before? It would be criminal not to feed them to one's children.

So that one I am going to hold out my many doubts about.

Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/19/2016 06:47AM by Amyjo.

I was looking to see whether I could find that study from the early 90's. There were some online, in pdf format. What I heard was on the radio, in the car. We didn't have the Internet then, so I couldn't confirm it later. Was not able to find a report comparable to the one on the radio. For some odd reason that piece of "news" stayed with me over the years and reinforced my giving my children vitamins as nutritional supplements. They would've had them anyway. :)

I was able to find this however, tonight, on the efficacy of vitamins and supplements for children, improving their mental acuity and stamina. This author is convinced that giving vitamins to children do increase their IQ's between 5-20 points. Still, a considerable number over those children who don't take them.

"The experiments have been finished. Extra vitamins improve intelligence and prevent learning disabilities. Today, a very small minority of parents accepts the data and provides extra vitamins to their children. The vast majority will not accept the evidence and continue to rely on food to supply the vitamin needs of their children.

The molecular structures of vitamins were discovered just around 100 years ago. Commercial production and distribution of vitamins took decades to put into place. I believe it is fair to say, as a practical matter, that parents have only been empowered to separately control the food and vitamin intake of their children for the past 40 years. This is not much time in the course of human history.

Cultural norms around food are strong. Getting parents to embrace vitamin supplements for children is not going to be easy. Doctors are parents and grandparents too. The concept that food does not contain optimal quantities of vitamins make people uncomfortable. This concept has to be threatening to the large majority of adults that grew up eating only food. So - it should not be surprising that the medical establishment is highly resistant to the data. We choose doctors that support our own beliefs.

I have read most of the available scientific data concerning vitamins, intelligence, and learning disabilities. The data decisively supports the minority view that extra vitamins prevent learning disabilities and improve intelligence. Optimizing the vitamin intake of American children will raise the average IQ by at least 5 points and by no more than 20 points."

http://ctheblog.cforyourself.com/2010/08/prevent-learning-disabilities-and.html

"This study confirms that vitamin-mineral supplementation modestly raised the nonverbal intelligence of some groups of Western schoolchildren by 2 to 3 points but not that of most Western schoolchildren, presumably because the majority were already adequately nourished. This study also confirms that vitamin-mineral supplementation markedly raises the non-verbal intelligence of a minority of Western schoolchildren, presumably because they were too poorly nourished before supplementation for optimal brain function. Because nonverbal intelligence is closely associated with academic performance, it follows that schools with children who consume substandard diets should find it difficult to produce academic performance equal to those schools with children who consume diets that come closer to providing the nutrients suggested in the U.S. RDA. The parents of schoolchildren whose academic performance is substandard would be well advised to seek a nutritionally oriented physician for assessment of their children's nutritional status as a possible etiology."

( http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/10706232 )

In short, if your diet is already healthy, vitamins won't don anything to increase your IQ. The only gains in IQ from supplements come from people with "substandard diets."

There's nothing special about vitamins regarding IQ -- an adequate diet makes them of no value.

It is well established that vitamins and certain supplements do improve memory and brain performance. That is across the board.

Well, except maybe for imbeciles. Even they could benefit from vitamins.

http://bebrainfit.com/best-vitamins-for-memory/

You do realize that that website is basically a commercial, right?

If it's an infomercial, so what?

It has the same information you would find on the Mayo Clinic.

I'm at work so I don't have time to do your bare bones research that is really common knowledge to anyone who knows anything about vitamins.

Exactly.
And it's *not* "well-established." In fact, actual scientific studies show clearly that with an adequate diet, supplements do *nothing* useful.
As the NIH study I linked to above shows.

Why are you so nit-picky and argumentative?

You haven't added anything constructive to this conversation, just more of your contentiousness and being a know-it-all.

Matter of fact, it's well established the role vitamins and supplements play in our health and wellness.

For you to try and deny it goes to the heart of your ignorance.

Amyjo, you're going to have a hard time convincing this crowd that they should listen to your authoritarian pronouncements just because you've made them.

You need to back up your declarations with sound science by unbiased scientists. Not just any internet link will do.

It's not personal to you. The one thing that unites most of us is that we were once part of an authoritarian religion that tried to condition us to shut off our brains and believe what was told to us unconditionally. We tend not to want to do that any more.

You have probably pinpointed the problem!

Amyjo often comes across like an authoritarian, do-it-my way, church authority. The dismissive tone, the back handed insults, the I'm-never-wrong hubris.


Like this: "If it's an infomercial, so what?

It has the same information you would find on the Mayo Clinic."


When in fact: "If you're generally healthy and eat a wide variety of foods, including fruits, vegetables, whole grains, legumes, low-fat dairy products, lean meats and fish, you likely don't need supplements."
--http://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/nutrition-and-healthy-eating/in-depth/supplements/art-20044894


Another argument that might apply: Things are not always 'black or white.'

You know what would be hilarious: watching Amyjo go to probably any Jewish interactive website to tell people how to be Jewish...

It's not a matter of what she knows, it's how she presents what she knows. Maybe it's not so much the message as it is the messenger?

Naw, I really don't think it's the messenger. Although the delivery could use some polish. The message is just too fact-free and unconvincing.

It's well known and established science the connection between nutrition, vitamins, and health.

I'm not telling anyone to take vitamins. What you're doing is saying there is no connection and it doesn't matter or that taking vitamins don't make a difference (according to kolob.)

Why argue moot points?

I'm not here to argue; but to share ideas.

If you don't believe taking a vitamin for you or your children will make any difference to yours or theirs mental acuity or overall health, then don't do it.

I actually enjoy learning about the different vitamins and nutritional supplements and the benefits they provide. Which wasn't the topic of my OP, but indirectly as it ties into emotional wellness.

Having vitamin deficiencies certainly can and do factor into a person's mental makeup.

Citing the article I linked to above, "The experiments have been finished. Extra vitamins improve intelligence and prevent learning disabilities. Today, a very small minority of parents accepts the data and provides extra vitamins to their children. The vast majority will not accept the evidence and continue to rely on food to supply the vitamin needs of their children."

For the minority of parents who accept the scientific data, I say good for them! For you naysayers who like to make digs and personal attacks rather than seek after knowledge and understanding, your bad.

My question to you is this: if you knew your child would benefit from providing them a nutritional supplement in addition to their regular diet, what would stop you from giving them the best start in life possible, other than you refuse to listen to what's established as medical science?

Wisdom is nothing more than applied knowledge.

Yeah, I advocate for vitamins and helping kids get their best start in life.

Don't know why anyone would find a gripe with that, but here.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/19/2016 12:02PM by Amyjo.

Established. You keep saying that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.

Clearly.

Amyjo Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Why are you so nit-picky and argumentative?

I'm neither.
I'm very pro-fact, and anti-bullshit.

> You haven't added anything constructive to this
> conversation, just more of your contentiousness
> and being a know-it-all.

I've added facts from the NIH, links to studies, and more.
You're just angry because it shows the poorly-researched stuff YOU posted is wrong.

> Matter of fact, it's well established the role
> vitamins and supplements play in our health and
> wellness.

That's a general, nonsense statement -- and it isn't what you said above. That's called "moving the goalposts," and is a fallacy.
Here's the fact: if you eat a good diet, supplements do NOTHING USEFUL. They can be useful if your diet is crap, but any doctor (not working for a supplement seller) will tell you the best way to address that problem is to fix your diet, not take supplements.

http://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2013/07/23/204525108/a-scientist-debunks-the-magic-of-vitamins-and-supplements

> For you to try and deny it goes to the heart of
> your ignorance.

You'd be well-served to stop calling ME ignorant because YOU don't bother to do any research. Doing so is rather silly.



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 01/19/2016 09:51PM by ificouldhietokolob.

It's well established that the establishment that establishes establishments is extremely well-established.

I thought we had already established that.

Wow, when your failed to make your point and lost the argument you resorted to ad hominem attacks.

That wasn't very emotionally intelligent of you, Amy.

And probably an end to wars.

Why? Our EQ is higher than men's. Hahahaha.

Let's hear it for a "Matriarchal" Society! After the Mormon male patriarchy, I'm all for it. :)

http://themindunleashed.org/2015/10/if-women-ruled-the-world-is-a-matriarchal-society-the-solution.html

https://katherinewebber.files.wordpress.com/2014/08/tumblr_inline_msgmmbqpfr1qz4rgp.gif

With regard to EI being learned behavior: it's my observation of five generations of a very large family, that when someone resembles a family member in the face and head, they commonly also resemble in intelligences and behaviors.

In our family, ones who resemble each other (whether they know each other or not) often have similar attitudes, anger responses, empathy or no empathy ... the list goes on. It's as if resemblance goes deeper into head than just the face.

The expression "spittin' image" was originally "SPIRIT and image."

Thanks for sharing that.

Spittin image originating from 'spirit' and image makes sense.

I have a younger brother who is 11 years younger than I am (I mentioned him previously). We think alike, feel alike. He is the one person in the world I trust more than anyone. We've always had a connection from day one.

I'm not as intelligent as him, but we do have the same EI, as well as my son and I. I think they "feel" more deeply than I do and it is very debilitating to them at times.

I have 4 other siblings and although I am close to them (too close sometimes), I've never had the same connection and my brother would tell you the same thing.