Note: he attached a picture of him with some kind of birthday decoration that read "20." I assume he is close to the end.

"Dearest family and friends,

This week I was good, I spent the morning of Wednesday
transferring from [Name Withheld] to [Name Withheld]. Then on Thursday we went to an
retirement home and played bingo. I feel like the majority of [Name Withheld]
are old retired people, that want nothing to do with us. We then went
to another retirement home on Friday....... Starting in July we will
be doing a bible study over there on Saturday mornings.
This area is the total opposite of [Name Withheld]. Which will take a
little bit to get used to.
We taught two boys that came to church on Sunday. They are so elect,
but the mothers of the boys are not that interested. They let them
listen to us and come to church, but is a bit hard. Then we are
working with this guy that will be getting baptized some time next
month. His name is [Name Withheld], he is great and he really understands the
gospel. His wife is hesitant about listening the the message and
coming to church. [Name Withheld] has come to church six times and is ready to
make the covenant o baptism. I have not met that much crazy people in
this ward area, then I did in [Name Withheld]. It's good, but makes my days
less interesting. Have a wonderful week.
Sincerely,

Elder [Name Withheld]"

It has been truly inspiring to watch this young man grow and mature over these many months as he serves his Lord and Savior Thomas Monson. I will forever be indebted for the wit and wisdom--such as the deep understanding that spelling, grammar, and even making sense are not necessary for eternal life and even exaltation with the inseparable Heavenly Father and Joseph Smith.

My only wish for him would be that he finds a few more "crazy people" in his remaining days so as to finish his mission on a high note. He certainly deserves such a tender mercy as that.

Imagine that....people in a retirement home are old retired people.

The worth of souls is great is lost on him.

It sounds like he would rather have young crazy than old bingo.

I'm starting to get sick reading my state-side missionary son's emails. They're long and everything is a miracle from cancer cures to the leaders' spiritual talks. I'm at the point where I quickly skim looking for the magic words and then quickly delete (totally ignoring his scripture challenge and sermonettes to the family).

The magic words I look for are, "I baptized someone." Yes, there's been a few conversions in the mission, but the kid has not personally dunked someone and he's been out for more than a year. The only thing the letters attest to is deep indoctrination into the fuckin' cult! The Boner.