As an Exmormon I have engaged in my share of "What Ifs."

What if I hadn't married when I found out the information now contained in the infamous essays.

What if I had stayed with my gut feelings and not gone on a mission since I was doing it only for my parents and subsequently reconverted myself as an RM looking for a purpose in life and a reason for my couple years abroad.

What ifs can be demons and for me they are part of my congregation of Mormon demons which attend religiously to my mental ward.

But this video helped me to damped this particular demonic influence.

Here is a man who has a pedigree like no other man on the planet (or should I say Plantagenet?)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-3S2LZAxpq0

I have a Mormon pedigree that is slightly above average for a descendant of the Tyrant of the West - Brigham Young. It is only slightly better because it includes one other Mormon luminary namely my great grandfather Hugh Brown.

In full disclosure I've hated the pedigree more than I've used it to impress Mormons. I know (my testimony) that my pedigree has jack crap to do with anything other than for medical purposes.

What ifs are usually not a productive use of my time and in my opinion add little to recovering from Mormonism.

Coulda and shoulda won't get you a cup of coffee.

It's not futile if you can succeed: "What if...I could crash the internet?"

How about dropping the hat from what-if-ery? I think that is possible if you have a rock to drop into it.

If that ball hadn't taken a bad bounce then (insert team name)
would have won the championship.

If the rabbit hadn't stopped to take a shit, the fox never
would have caught him.

etc.

I once read a short story about a chess player who obsessed
over a game where he had a winning move but played a horrible
but plausible-looking move instead and lost. He was magically
granted a chance to play that game again. As his opponent was
about to play the move leading to the position where he had a
winning move, the opponent looked up and said, "last time I
played Bishop to c4 and should have lost; This time I'll play
the right move," and thereupon uncorked a crushing move that
beat him.

I think there's something to be said about positive what-if-ery.

I agree that it's unhealthy and counterproductive to spin your wheels about the past. You can't go back and change anything, so asking what if about the past is pointless and futile.

However, I think it's a very useful exercise to what-if about the future.

What if I decided not to wait until the end of this contract and started looking for a new job now instead?

What if I decided to move to another part of the country?

What if I freed myself from a loveless marriage?

What if I did the thing that's been on my bucket list my whole life?

What if I could save more money?

What if I could travel more?

What if I could spend more time with my family/friends/loved ones?

What then?

:>)

Past tense only. The future is all about mentally playing out potential scenarios.

Elder Berry Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> What ifs are usually not a productive use of my
> time and in my opinion add little to recovering
> from Mormonism.

But...what if they ARE productive?

Oh, no! :)

They might be. I've formed an opinion about them to the contrary though I do engage in them.

What if I'm just fooling myself that my opinion is the right one to have?