I've read post after post on this site written by so-called "intellectuals" who ridicule Mormonism, mock its doctrines and history and claim Mormonism is a fraud. These claims are absolutely wrong, as any thinking person knows. There is so much evidence of the truth of Mormonism it is impossible to ignore if you are an honest seeker of truth. For example:

1. If the Three Nephites aren't still alive, why can't anyone find their graves?

2. If Noah and the flood didn't happen, where did all the water come from?

3. If Moroni didn't tell Joseph where the Golden Plates were buried, how did Joseph find them?

4. If God doesn't have a body, how do we have so many pictures of Him?

5. If Jesus didn't fly to the new world after his resurrection, how did the Nephites know he had a wound in his side?

6. If Jesus didn't fly to the new world after his resurrection, who destroyed all those Nephite cities?

7. If Mormonism isn't true, how does the Church know the secret password and handshake to get into heaven?

8. If Mormonism isn't true, why is Joseph's permission needed to enter into the Celestial Kingdom?

9. If Joseph wasn't a prophet, how did he know the Garden of Eden was in Missouri and that Noah built the ark in North Carolina?

10. If the Golden Plates weren't real, why did God have to take them back up to Heaven?

11. If Mormonism isn't true, how can so many six year olds bear their testimonies every month?

12. If Joseph wasn't a prophet, how did he know Brigham spoke in tongues in the pure Adamic language?

13. If the Mormon temple ceremony is not eternal, why are the Masonic lodges still around?

14. If the Book of Mormon isn't true, why did Jesus agree to be in it?

15. If Mormonism isn't true, why is the missionary position so popular?

Answer me this. Maybe this will shut up all you know nothing anti-Mormons.

Good grief! You're right!!!

The answers to all of your questions will not be known until all people are ready to receive them. In the meanwhile, those questions were given to us as a test of our lack of faith. Only by accepting these unanswerable questions can we prove that we are truly devoted to not knowing that the church is true.

All my Mormon friends have been telling me this. Why didn't I listen sooner. It's all so clear now!

Well, of course, it's--- true. But .....true....what?
True God Myth! Just like all the other religions that are true God myths!

+1

Wow!

That's hilarious times fifteen, omyheck.

donbagley Wrote:
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> That's hilarious times fifteen, omyheck.

Well *I* say that's hilarious times EIGHTEEN...so there!!!!

Who'd a thunk it?

Wow! Iz gonna convert!

Gonna call me up some mishies- or maybe missie mishies!

That is, AFTER I throw away our coffee, smokes, and sleeveless shirts...

Clearly, I'm no intellectual! I never thought that hard about it. Now I have to concede you're right. I'll bow my head and say yes. LOL!

But, seriously, now, ohmyheck, it is truly scary how perfectly you present the exact sort of thinking that my Mormon and other fanatically religious relatives use. And cling to. How I wish that they could read this and see themselves in it.

LOL That reminds me of myself years ago. "If Evolution is true, then why are there still apes?" Oh dear.

Haha. I have actually had someone say that to me. My eyes rolled around so fast I lifted off the ground for a second.

There are seven windows in the head, seven days of the week, seven seas, seven continents and seven heavens -- therefore there are only seven planets...

Seven celestial bodies that are visible to the naked eye (if such viewing is legal in your area) move against the background of the "fixed" stars: the Sun, the Moon, Mercury, Venus, Mars, Jupiter, and Saturn. That's why the number seven has been mystically significant in many different cultures; why seven is often considered a lucky number; and why we have seven days in the week.

It even carries over into the names: In English we have Sun-day, Moon-day, and Saturn-day; French also has Mars-day, Mercury-day, and (I think) Venus-day; etc.

When telescopes were invented, the universe became more complicated. If Uranus or Neptune were bigger, the magic number might have been eight or nine. Eventually there were nine planets, not counting the sun and moon; but Pluto was demoted a few years back.

As for seven windows in the head, I'd say that's a well-ventilated bathroom... oh... sorry, never mind.

There are no/ few thinking people in Mormonism. The thinkers learn, drop it, and move on... like any other bad experience.

Great to have you touch base, Hugh. Does the CK have 5g internet yet?


Seriously, one of Hugh's "evidences" for the book of mormon was along the lines of "If the book of mormon weren't true then how did Joseph Smith know the history of the major events that took place during that time."

Circularity, smirkularity.

The next kingdom has 5G too, but with data caps, the bottom kingdom has dial up.

The mark of outstanding satire is, when you're reading it, you have that brief moment wondering if it *is* actually satire...

Yeah, this was outstanding satire :)

"If the Book of Mormon isn't true, why did Jesus agree to be in it?"

They all made me laugh out loud but this one left me on the floor for some reason. Bless your warped little mind.

A strawman extravaganza.

omyheck Wrote:
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> 14. If the Book of Mormon isn't true, why did
> Jesus agree to be in it?

He wasn't in it. If he were it would have been even more fabulous.

1. If the Three Nephites aren't still alive, why can't anyone find their graves?
Ans they were not in a graveyad
2. If Noah and the flood didn't happen, where did all the water come from?
Ans The flood which inundated most of the planet was caused by the close passage of the planet Nibiru
3. If Moroni didn't tell Joseph where the Golden Plates were buried, how did Joseph find them?
Ans. By dowsing
4. If God doesn't have a body, how do we have so many pictures of Him?
Ans We Don't
5. If Jesus didn't fly to the new world after his resurrection, how did the Nephites know he had a wound in his side?
1619 KJV bible They studied unwritten books from the future

6. If Jesus didn't fly to the new world after his resurrection, who destroyed all those Nephite cities?
Ans. The Annuakki from Nibiru
7. If Mormonism isn't true, how does the Church know the secret password and handshake to get into heaven?
Ans they don't
8. If Mormonism isn't true, why is Joseph's permission needed to enter into the Celestial Kingdom?
Ans It isn't
9. If Joseph wasn't a prophet, how did he know the Garden of Eden was in Missouri and that Noah built the ark in North Carolina?
Ans. Oh ye of little faith Everyone knows it is in Missouri!

10. If the Golden Plates weren't real, why did God have to take them back up to Heaven?
Ans. You always have to keep the con going after the sting.

11. If Mormonism isn't true, how can so many six year olds bear their testimonies every month?
Ans. Early brain washing

12. If Joseph wasn't a prophet, how did he know Brigham spoke in tongues in the pure Adamic language?
Ans. Conspiracy
13. If the Mormon temple ceremony is not eternal, why are the Masonic lodges still around?
Ans. Everybody gotta be somewhere!
14. If the Book of Mormon isn't true, why did Jesus agree to be in it?
Ans. He DID????
15. If Mormonism isn't true, why is the missionary position so popular?
Ans It goes to creativity.
Answer me this. Maybe this will shut up all you know nothing anti-Mormons.
Ans. I beg your pardon I just showed that I know SOMETHING.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 07/18/2016 01:36PM by desertman.

Killjoy. Look, for example if God had not taken back the gold plates, we would have a better translation... Also, if Joseph Smith isn't there to let us into the CK, will we have to be oked by Saint Peter? And if JS isn't deciding.... Jesus. OMG, it all has to be true despite those awful apostates....



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 07/18/2016 09:10PM by rhgc.

That's it. Nevermo no more - It's the missionary position one that did it for me.

Where do I sign?

;-)
Tom in Paris

omyheck, to answer your questions with a question, what does it matter if the pearl of gates swing open or slide shut? You will know those trivial details when you get there. For now, focus on what is more important, pay your tithe and OBEY!!!

Any thinking person can see it for what it is.

If there was physical evidence to support the BoM (horses, chariots, steel, coins, crops, DNA, etc.), we wouldn't need faith to accept it as the word of God, therefore.......any thinking person knows that the lack of evidence proves that the BoM is true!

You are just ignoring all the physical evidence. I'll give you more. If Mormonism isn't true, why are Donny and Marie so popular?

Wasn't it one of the apostles (possibly Nelson ?) who stated that he knew evolution wasn't possible because every time he saw a flower he knew it had to have been created by the hand of God? We need prophets like this to clear things up for us.

Irrefutable evidence like that cannot be denied ; )

Oh gimme a break. Surely this is satire.

I'm deadly serious about my spiritual beliefs. And, I'll give you one more proof. If Mormonism isn't true, why are Mormon Indians becoming white and delightsome?

Guess I'm gonna have to get over being offended, and accept these AMAZING truths. It's all just really so AMAZING!
.... and AWESOME.