The cult screwed me up so badly that I still think I need this, in order to "cure" me. I just want to be loved & accepted, & I worry that this is the only way it could be possible.

Seriously, your posts are always interesting and welcome.

You don't need anything. They need to fix their bigotry. Seriously, the worst thing about TSCC is that they won't accept anyone who doesn't fit into their box.

You're a human being and you deserve to be loved, not modified.

You bet the church screwed with you!

The fear you feel is an artificial construct, a creepy thing TSCC gives any member who varies from the full tithe paying, and future tithe baby-making TBM machines they need you to be. They need members a lot more than members need them, and abuse is their weapon of choice. The ongoing existence of this board, among others, is absolute proof that the church is not true.

I'm going to veer off-topic for a moment, so please bear with it.

Many posts question ways in which TSCC might be sued, to strike where it will hurt them most- their beloved money piles. What I don't believe I've ever seen, is anyone being sued for writing all of this so-called "anti" stuff, - about JS, the sex slaves he abused, the history, the Egyptian joke "translations," on and on. Most importantly, we make multiple and varied accusations about their hoarding of money - how they take, take, take, but only a tiny fraction is used for actual charity.

Why are we not sued?

Because a) they have no defense, and b) they would have to "prove" we were libeling them by revealing their financials, at which point 1) "we" would win, and 2) members would flee en masse.

There's your "proof" that TSCC is a lying bag of shit.

Back to your topic.

So, this evil empire has screwed with your love life, for money, and you want them to screw with it more?

Look around you. There are thousands and thousands of non-"straight" people, all having the same joys and pains as "straight" people, the same struggles in finding and holding onto "love" as defined by each.

I'm not trying to diminish the added pain and struggle of growing up LGBT in TSCC, but trying to ask why you would pay someone to give you nore of that? You can go back to the church and get abused (for free if you want).

You were born to be who you are, not the morgbot baby/money making machine they need to fuel their demented dreams of world domination via monetary power. Please note: their "faith," their "god," didn't deliver on the "promises," so they have turned to the love of money, as Stan's very own "chosen people." If they actually believed their own shit, they would be terror-filled enough to change their ways.

Be who you are, and if you think you need therapy, go for strength in and validation of that person.

I've got your "reparative therapy" right here:

Every morning, step outside on your back porch and yell these words:

"Screw the f*cking mormon cult!"

Then go out and find people (like those here) who will like and love you for who you are. There are lots of 'em.

That's all the "repair" you need.

You need to love and accept yourself unconditionally, warts and all. Then you need to despise any religion that tells you to do otherwise.

My experience with aversion therapy back in the 80s - it doesn't work and makes things worse.

A statement I often make about my experience is it taught me to hate myself even more and to lie to the bishop, although while in therapy they were reporting all to my bishop.

Instead of helping, I lost my job and ended up hospitalized in Seattle on suicide watch. At least that led to receiving counseling from competent individuals who helped me instead of forcing the religious dogma.

Instead of trying to conform, I had to learn to distance myself from those who could not accept my choices, including some family members.

It would help immensely if you were not always around people who insist that everyone should fit into a neat little box. There are some very liberal, accepting, live-and-let live communities and sub-communities in our country where you could find a lot of like-minded friends.

I went through so-called reparative therapy. It does not work and really messed with my brain. Please don't subscribe to self-torture.

If people do not accept you for being gay, they do not love you. Chasing after their love and acceptance will only make you miserable. My advice is to find other gay people. There are many gay groups. I played sports in a gay sports league, but there are many gay groups that are not sports related. Search for one that you find interesting.

As others have mentioned, a "Nacho Libre" style training regimen isn't going to be worth it and it doesn't work for anyone else so why would it work for you?

My son in law converted himself through sheer will, but it's obvious it didn't work. He married a woman and had a couple of kids. He's not straight, he's bi, and only through a lot of effort and role play on his part. That's a heck of a lot of energy to expend to go against nature.

Everything is here to teach you something. What does the Mormon cult teach you? That they know absolutely nothing about how life really works? That would be a start. Look at how they think and act, and ask yourself if any of it makes a lick of sense.

There is no convincing evidence that reparative therapy has ever been able to change anyone's sexual orientation.

Even Alan Chambers, former head of the now disbanded Exodus International, for decades the largest ex-gay organization, admitted that more than 99% of the people he dealt with in his decades in ex-gay circles never changed their sexual orientation at all.

Reparative therapy doesn't change sexual orientation. It may increase stress, depression and suicide.

Rather than pursue quack therapy, perhaps getting therapy to learn to accept yourself for who you are and move on from your toxic relationships would be more productive.

You have received many positive affirmations here. As Mr. Rogers, on his TV show, used to stress, "You are wonderful, just the way you are". Best of luck to you in loving and accepting yourself, unconditionally, because you are perfect "just the way you are"!

So here's the deal. Let's pretend that at some time in the last somebody decided that there was a sickness a disease if you will that caused certain people to have blue eye or be left handed. People tried to cure this illness. They tried all kinds of things. It didn't work. As we became more enlightened we began to realize that that this non-normative condition is just a normal variation. We learned how to accept it. But some religionists find that repugnant because it conflicts with their values. They can't find any qualified professionals to treat the condition so the get their own to masquerade as professionals. EVERY professional organization IN THE WHOLE DAMN WORLD things the religionists are nuts. Sound familiar?

Your problem isn't what you think it is. Your problem is that you're either gullible or you're not too bright. One is easier to fix than the other.