I live in a HCOLA (high cost of living area) along the Atlantic seaboard. HCOLA would describe much of the east coast from Maryland northward. I pay a huge chunk of my take-home pay to live in an attractive, safe community. As a single school teacher, it's often tough to make it work, but I manage. I can pay my mortgage, bills, and everyday expenses. It's the higher ticket items, like appliances, that are the real challenge.

A former colleague of mine also teaches school in the same district where I work. I keep up with her on Facebook. She's *very* Christian, so I knew that we would likely never be terribly close friends. But I like to keep up with her doings, and she has often been helpful with work-related issues. I had hoped that we could do the occasional lunch. She probably earns more or less what I earn.

She has been the sole support of her husband for many years now. He was thrown out of work by the Great Recession and never had a huge income to begin with. When their first child came along, I was delighted for her. They made the decision that her husband would be a stay-at-home-dad while she continued to work. I figured fine, families make decisions that work best for them. When their second child came along a few years later, I was equally happy for them. A boy and a girl -- perfect! I figured on a school teacher's salary, their family would be complete. I figured wrong.

Now number three is due. "What's one more?" she asked gaily. Privately, I thought she had about lost her mind. I can barely make it on a teacher's salary, how on Earth is she going to support five people on the same salary? She's been taking on extra work in the form of tutoring, summer school, etc., but even so. She and her husband have a new home and a nice looking vehicle. How do the numbers work for that? I mentally gave up, figuring that there may be family help, and that ultimately it was not my business anyway.

Enter, somewhat predictably, the MLM.

Now MLMs in my opinion are not nearly as big among nevermos as they are among Mormons, probably because most middle-income nevermo couples both work. Perhaps 5-10% of teachers in my area do MLMs. They lay out their brochures or product samples in the teachers' lounge, and it you are interested, fine, and if not, that's fine as well. It's very low key, and although I'm not a fan of MLMs, I have no real objection.

My friend's MLM (or "direct sales," as her company likes to call it,) is a lot more in your face. It has taken over her social media. Here is a photo taken with her kids, using her product. Here is a photo of her walking the dog, using her product. Here is her online store to which she is constantly adding things. Here is a party invite to come try the product. I am already tired of this product, and I've never seen it in person.

I looked into it, and the MLM is founded by...wait for it...a Mormon family. This family, needless to say, had the same issues as my friend -- too many kids, too little income, and a stay at home spouse. The company founder has a background in direct sales. I figure the founder figured out that the real money to be made in an MLM is at the top.

I see that my friend had to invest a huge chunk of money to get started in her new business -- thousands of dollars. I could buy a badly needed new HVAC system with that kind of money. Where she got it, I don't know.

I sincerely wish her the best. She likes the product, and it works for her. It seems to have a following. She has a huge social network, and is a friendly, outgoing individual. She might make a go of it. But at the same time, I fear for her. She and her husband have made a huge investment. I hope they will have something to show for it. Results, from what I've seen online, are mixed.

And meanwhile, I have had to manage my social media to get this MLM off of it as much as possible. It is not for me. Further steps may need to be taken.

Plus, I am left to wonder...am I a friend or a customer? How come the only social invite I've *ever* gotten from my friend is to a party where she is selling something? I find that rather dispiriting.

Welcome to the world of too many kids and too little money to support them. Welcome to the MLM.

My definition of MLM

Mormons Losing Money

I figure Mo missions give them the perfect training for MLMs, keep pushing a questionable and overpriced product, keep saying you believe it works until you convince yourself, don't take no for an answer, knock on all doors, etc.

>
> The company founder has a
> background in direct sales.
>

Yeah, I did a mission, too.

MLM's are alive and well in my non-Mormon world as well. I'd say at least two people I know every year announce on Facebook their new "opportunity". It always starts out with great fervor and then dissipates fairly quickly. I assume that's because they've received a "no" from their close circle of friends and family and then don't want to pursue it any further.

I always research the product and inevitably the science is dubious. In my experience it's almost always women in their 40's who are involved. I don't know that I've seen a male introducing an MLM on Facebook. Maybe they prefer to do it face-to-face if they do, in fact, get involved.

My experience is young moms in their 20's and 30's.
I like what mo larkey said; Mormons losing money.

abby Wrote:
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> My experience is young moms in their 20's and
> 30's.

Me, too--almost everyone I know who's been involved with an MLM has fit that description. It's sad because they both sincerely wish to be full-time stay at home moms and also to help contribute to their family's finances, and in every case I've known, they really do need more money. I live in the SF Bay Area, so it's also a high cost of living area.

what raises my eye brows even more are the "fund me" projects people occasionally post. From international colleges tuitions, to backyard garages. Asking friends for donations is a little tacky I think.

"She likes the product, and it works for her."

Translation: She pretends to like the product because...

1. She needs to sell the product.
2. She doesn't want to feel cheated out of all the money she invested.

I was wondering what product she was hawking till I read the part about investing the cost of a new HVAC system. Let me guess - Lularoe?

I am always on FB but I'd never heard of this company till a few days ago. I read the founder's bio, and when I saw "single mom of 7 kids", Morg popped into my head.

I was stunned by the amt you have to invest in startup inventory with this company!

I see this way too often with Mormon relatives on Facebook. The wife is usually the parent staying home and even though she has three to five babies to raise, she also invests time and money in the latest exploitative product aimed at scamming parents out of money they need. It's a time honored tradition to prey on their financial insecurity and need to accomplish something other than changing baby diapers, and they use pitches that manipulate your emotions to get you to sign up for it.

It's bad business, and it's bad for friendships. They're basically asking their friends to pay off a debt they incurred because they weren't willing to consider taking on a part-time job or because they weren't willing to face the math telling them that they could not afford to have another child.