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Posted by: Red Ryder ( )
Date: August 31, 2016 06:31PM

As a daily praying TBM, I used to feel that my prayers were empty and went unanswered. I spoke to a few people I admired in the church and asked them to teach me to become a better prayer. Often I was told to be humble, ask sincerely, then look for answers or signs that God was listening. Often this process was defined as personal revelation.

The church teaches that personal revelation is an important part of the gospel. Through the Holy Ghost, we can receive personal revelation to guide us in our life. In an April 2012 conference talk, Elder Richard B. Scott spoke about revelation.

Elder Scott wrote:
"There are some practical principles that enhance revelation. First, yielding to emotions such as anger or hurt or defensiveness will drive away the Holy Ghost. Those emotions must be eliminated, or our chance for receiving revelation is slight.

Another principle is to be cautious with humor. Loud, inappropriate laughter will offend the Spirit. A good sense of humor helps revelation; loud laughter does not. A sense of humor is an escape valve for the pressures of life.

Another enemy to revelation comes from exaggeration or loudness in what is stated. Careful, quiet speech will favor the receipt of revelation.

On the other hand, spiritual communication can be enhanced by good health practices. Exercise, reasonable amounts of sleep, and good eating habits increase our capacity to receive and understand revelation. We will live for our appointed life span. However, we can improve both the quality of our service and our well-being by making careful, appropriate choices.

It is important that our daily activities do not distract us from listening to the Spirit.

Revelation can also be given in a dream when there is an almost imperceptible transition from sleep to wakefulness. If you strive to capture the content immediately, you can record great detail, but otherwise it fades rapidly. Inspired communication in the night is generally accompanied by a sacred feeling for the entire experience. The Lord uses individuals for whom we have great respect to teach us truths in a dream because we trust them and will listen to their counsel. It is the Lord doing the teaching through the Holy Ghost. However, He may in a dream make it both easier to understand and more likely to touch our hearts by teaching us through someone we love and respect."

According to Scott, numerous requirements must be met for personal revelation to be received. This seems to set up multiple excuses when personal revelation doesn't come. Did I laugh too hard? Did I not get enough exercise or sleep deep enough last night? Was that Aunt Betty that appeared to me in my dream? Uh, I don't recall her looking like that but then again she did die 25 years ago.

The concept of personal revelation is flawed because, well it's personal! Nobody should disagree with YOUR personal revelation if it sounds legitimate. But what if it doesn't? Like the time Brother Smith went to the temple, in order to receive guidance regarding his personal desires. Prior to this visit, Brother Smith had been thinking about what car to buy. He wanted a Jeep so he could do some off roading. Brother Smith was also having relationship issues with his wife and was attending the temple to become more humble. During this visit, Brother Smith got the impression that he should leave his wife. He shrugged it off as a random thought and didn't consider it to be personal revelation.

As the weeks went by, he continued to look for signs. He eventually found the right Jeep online and called the owner to take a test drive. When he showed up, the most beautiful woman he had ever seen answered the door. He was taken back by her beauty and stumbled to speak. After composing himself, introductions were made and he shook her hand. They looked over the vehicle in the driveway before taking a test ride.

The Jeep drove nicely, hugging the road as the minutes passed. The owner spoke fondly of the Jeep, retelling the fond memories of numerous road trips, camping outings, and off road competitions. Brother Smith was mesmerized by this woman. At that moment while sitting at a red light, Brother Smith recalled the impressions received in the temple. He also realized that the woman who he saw in his dream was not his Aunt Betty who died 25 years ago, but was the woman he was riding in the Jeep with. This same woman was riding by his side the whole time. Brother Smith knew that his prayers were answered!

Satan, the cunning linguist that he is, tempted the woman much like he did to Eve. The woman, not recognizing the influence of Satan, felt appreciated by Brother Smith's interest in her Jeep and ability to listen to her never ending stories. After the test drive, she invited him in to negotiate the sale price. He obliged. Having been a warm day, she excused herself to go freshen up. She return only wearing a towel. She was rather voluptuous to say the least and quickly dropped the towel. She walked over to Brother Smith, hopped on his lap, and began to kiss him passionately.

One thing led to another and Brother Smith was naked. The woman wasn't sure what to make of his polyester mesh underwear with funny symbols over his nipples. The confused quizzical look on her face quickly diminished as he picked her up, spread her legs around his waist, and quietly whispered in her ear "where's your bedroom?" She replied, "down the hall, third room on the left!" Brother Smith, not having been fully conditioned for such sexual escapades, quickly lost his stamina and set her down and walked her to her bedroom. They made mad passionate love for 3 minutes.

On the drive home, Brother Smith was thankful for the personal revelation he received in the temple that day and was ever so grateful he was guided by the Holy Ghost to search for that Jeep.

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Posted by: donbagley ( )
Date: August 31, 2016 06:38PM

"Our appointed lifespan?" What nonsense!

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Posted by: Elders Quorum Drop-out ( )
Date: August 31, 2016 06:40PM

I'm slightly confused by this post, but more importantly, slightly aroused. So, thank you? ;)

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Posted by: elderolddog ( )
Date: August 31, 2016 06:44PM

What kind of mileage was he getting?

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Posted by: Elders Quorum Drop-out ( )
Date: August 31, 2016 06:52PM

If you're looking for how many miles per hour, you'd have to keep into account that he arrived at his final destination in only 3 minutes. Too many "find x and y" for me. I was never very good at math. ;)

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Posted by: baura ( )
Date: August 31, 2016 07:47PM

Red Ryder Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> First, yielding to emotions such as
> anger or hurt or defensiveness will drive away the
> Holy Ghost. Those emotions must be eliminated, or
> our chance for receiving revelation is slight.
>
> Another principle is to be cautious with humor.
> Loud, inappropriate laughter will offend the
> Spirit. A good sense of humor helps revelation;
> loud laughter does not. A sense of humor is an
> escape valve for the pressures of life.
>
> Another enemy to revelation comes from
> exaggeration or loudness in what is stated.
> Careful, quiet speech will favor the receipt of
> revelation.

So this is why LDS leaders are so bland. Being bland and
having a flat affect seems to be necessary to getting a
testimony. It certainly seems necessary to rising in the
hierarchy. "Hi, I'm a Mormon; it only looks like I'm a sedated
Botox addict.

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Posted by: ificouldhietokolob ( )
Date: August 31, 2016 07:49PM

Thanks to your wonderful story, I now see that my loud laughter and some other horrible non-mormon habits have robbed me of the benefits of personal revelation.

After all, the last used car I bought, I had no revelations about. And the guy who sold it to me was 58, had a considerable paunch, and smelled of whiskey. No towels were involved (thankfully!).

Clearly I've been going about this all wrong.
And need to repent.

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