I'm still new to all of this. I only recently discovered the exmo community and learned that I was for from alone. But right now I'm struggling a lot and even though my BF id my rock, he doesn't quite understand or know how to help. A little background. I'm the oldest of 6 children and a family that is directly related to Joseph Smith. I still haven't told my family that I don't believe and I don't plan on doing so until my dad is no longer the Ward Clerk. I don't want them to find out that I withdraw my records as soon as it happens.

Anyways, I'm 21. My sister is 2 months away from turning 20 and just checked into the MTC for her mission. And I'm scared. And I'm concerned that by the time she returns any dislike or animosity she holds towards me for my life decisions will be amplified and the rest of my siblings will be exposed to that since they are all between the ages of 15 and 6.

Does anyone have any experience with a situation like this or have any helpful advice?

I feel for you, Oldest. You are very brave to leave alone. It's hard to know how fast to go with family. If I were you, I probably wouldn't mention anything to your sister until a while after she gets home. She may well find some cracks to her shelf on her mission, as did I; but it took me a while to get past the mission "glow" and engage my brain. Then, when I was so bored with reading the BOM I thought my brain would leak out my ears, I was ready to listen. Even then, if my husband hadn't gone slow with me, I probably would have freaked out.

One other idea, my dad often shared jokes poking gentle fun at the church, gentle enough for members to laugh at; J. Golden Kimball, for example. I appreciated this dose of reality, and it helped me realize I had a shelf at all... sometimes going this slow is what people need.

Good luck!!!!

Going slow is always great advice. The best advice I can give you is to let go, when it comes to your expectations of how it will affect your relationship with your loved ones. Be respectful and show love, but don't pretend to be someone you're not, or to believe something you don't. How she reacts is up to her. It most likely will affect many of your relationships. It sucks. But remember that finding others who you can connect with helps.

I hope for the best for you.

You are the best friend you will ever have. You are the best sibling you will ever have. You are the best parent you will ever have.

Do not sacrifice your best friend, your best sibling, or your best parent for those who are lesser.
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Hello, Oldest! You will have a 18 months in which to continue to build a relationship with your younger siblings. I would use that time wisely. Be the cool sister, the fun sister, the one who doesn't follow church rules too precisely, the one who listens to their problems, supports them, and loves them unconditionally. After your missionary sister returns, you can then decide how to proceed moving forward.

A ray of sunshine. Many here learned the truth on their missions.

You never know what will happen.

Which of Joseph's wives are you descended from?

I am from Patty Sessions and her daughter Sylvia. You may find some long lost cousins here.

You seem like a very cool sister!

We know from experience, that if you leave the cult, they will find out! Not just the ward clerk, but everyone in the whole ward will know. They have a "Strengthening the Members Committee" which openly discusses the "less active" members, and creates strategies to reactivate them.

Mormonism is a cult, and you will not be allowed to leave without a battle.

If your main concern is your sister, you could leave the church now, while she is away, and she will be spared all the arguing and Mormon harassment. Mormon men, in pairs would bang on my door late at night. I made the mistake of letting some of them come in--my bishop, my home teacher, my neighbor--and they threatened and belittled me, in front of my children.

This will take courage on your part. Stay strong. Patience is necessary with your loved ones, but you don't need to show patience with the cult--just leave. It's a free country, and you have a right to not attend. Quote the Article of Faith about "...let them worship how or what they may," (I forget the exact words.)

It will help if you behave in a manner that demands respect from others. It does no good to argue. Don't swear or be rude. Don't drink, because everyone will focus on your drinking "problem" and not focus on the fact that the Mormon church is a hoax. You want to be the good guy. Be extra careful to dress modestly, and show the maximum amount of respect towards your family. That's how to earn their respect, in return. Don't rebel, because Mormons always try to blame the victim. They will try to blame you and your rebellion.

It's not you. It's the cult that's crazy. Remember this, when you feel out-numbered, and accused.

Good luck. (((hugs)))