I was thinking about how I'd heard talks given in church and GC over the years, and how occasionally they'd mention how so-and-so had given up EVERYTHING...their family, friends, and home...to join the Mormon Church. I remember being awestruck by the magnitude of that sacrifice. But what hypocrisy for our church to do to its members the very same thing! How asinine it is for a religion to rip families apart! What kind of God would want that? Family is forever? As long as you live by OUR terms. So do NOT think for yourself....EVER...or risk losing it ALL. How many Mormons must feel hopelessly stuck in the church because they are not willing to chance it that they might endure ridicule and even being disowned.

The term and conditions of "Families are forever" is FUBAR.

Amen.

Actually just had one of those moments today. Trying to research for my thesis, and my parents send me an infuriating email about how I'm trampling on my ancestors and poisoning the family along with other crap because I admitted I was exmormon online.

It's funny how twisted this concept becomes. I'm about to be disowned because I'm not following rules about what a family does...? Totally with you.

Something is very, very wrong

I've been punished, shunned and finally disowned for failure to believe in magic rocks. That's a family I don't want forever.

Now that brings me a smile!

This weekend of their shameful shunning of me is nearly over.

Maybe it should be called incestual shunning, how it occurs within the closest of families, like my own once was, and remains, except with me on the outside now.

They are they ones that should be ashamed, and when I remember that, it helps a bit.

Maybe one day they will all take a good long look in the mirror and somehow see the truth of who they truly are. I'm not counting on it.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 03/27/2011 07:12PM by think4u.

That's right, think4u, no one knows where better to cut you than your own family. The big boys in Salt Lake can't be bothered to punish you, they rely on your immediate family members. Those in my family who have sold their souls to the TSCC have done a good job of tormenting me, and now we are estranged.

The interesting here is that the division that occurs *is* the Mormon church. You only need to look at a typical Mormon wedding to see how lines are drawn and how families work and what the family values are. Everyone sees this except for the Mormons.

You see on this board, nevermos writing in, struggling with Mormonism and exmo's struggling with loss of family and friends over non-belief...strong family values are lost and gone...if they existed at all, which they don't seem to, really.

I don't know of any other religions that keeps their people so busy that they have to *assign* one day a week to spend time with the fam. Family night sounds good on the outside, but then you find out it's really just lovely chocolate covering up the nasty pink shit in the middle. I hate to bring up the "life is like a box of chocolates" analogy, but Mormonism is all those chocolates with thumbholes punched in the bottom that no one wants.

My mom is still "sealed" to my deceased dad. She recently remarried a man who is sealed to another woman.

They still chose to get married in the temple in what's called a "time only" ceremony. Yet, she still sent out cheezy announcements about how my siblings and I were "pleased to announce." We'd never even met the guy.

So.... when she wants me to be a part of her mormon world, I remind her of her recent marriage where she overtly decided that some of us were not welcome.

My husband lost his two daughters to that stupid shunning nonsense... On the other hand, he gained me. =)

Maybe the girls will figure it out someday...

It pains me to think that there is no way to get through to these people. Their vision of God is so skewed! God (if there is one) would be so tolerant and accepting, so patient and forgiving...so merciful. What about the story of the prodigal son? If family members really think their loved one is wayward, then love them unconditionally, support them, encourage them, but DON'T KICK THEM IN THE REAR and send them packing!

When they try the "respecting the ancestors" guilt trip, I tell them how proud they are of those same ancestors who gave up on their previous religion and families to become mormons.

So, I'm a pioneer now. I'm leaving something that my family holds dear for something I consider better. They can alienate me if they like, just like those wonderful ancestors were alienated by their nomo families.

Since I don't believe the church is what it claims to be, I don't at all feel guilty about stopping the nonsense. And I tell them that. My obligation is to my posterity, not my ancestry.

"My obligation ..."

I hope you don't mind. I used that quote on my blog today. I gave credit to "jpt."

Thanks, freegirl10 and Sateda, for the kind words.

"MY OBLIGATION IS TO MY POSTERITY, NOT MY ANCESTRY". LOVE IT, JPT! That would be such an awesome bumper sticker to have on your car as you drove around Utah, don'tcha think?

JPT, I also want to say that I wish you well and hope that life is wonderful for you! Thank you for your post...

Families are forever-- IF you fit the rigid mold of a 1950's vision of the perfect family. All others need not apply....

Once out, you are no longer within their sight and mind.

Sounds ok with me, however, the Mormon hypocrisy is definitely louder in these latter days.

I think even home teachers are loosing faith
and cant be bothered, unlike before.

Once again this board has clarified some of the murky workings of the mormon church for a never-mo.

DH's family behaves in this same manner and it confuses me most of the time. I have a very close relationship with my family, but we do not all agree on religion, etc.; we live within the same town as his family and three hours from my family.

During a new year's day celebration this year a SIL spoke about not having a big enough house for so many guests - my retort was that we have a lovely large house that no one visits. We were invited to this gathering, but not included in it. To have gathered at our house would have made it less clear that we stay on the outside of the circle. We stayed long enough to be polite and made our way home.

Interesting cultural traditions going on here; if you all can tolerate it, who am I to complain. Glad there is such an encouraging virtual space to gather in peace. Thanks all!

My family is not happy about my resignation but at least they have not disowned me. My DIL said once that the family will just do a 'baptism for the dead' when I die, then we will be an eternal family again. (I think I just threw up a little in my mouth.)

I know how that feels. Had 2 families torn by he morg.