One way to tell if someone has been brainwashed is to ask them a question about why they believe in something. If they can articulate an original answer they probably aren't brainwashed. If they parrot a canned answer or they use words similar to others in their group, that's a sign of brainwashing. Of course there are different levels to this. It might be go along to get along or a real gung ho dedication to the cause. Usually gung ho wants to climb to a level of some importance in the group.

I feel impressed by the still, small voice that what you say is inspired by the Holy Ghost, and feel so blessed with every fiber of my being that the truth of it will be revealed as your post rolls forth across the earth.

Amen.

Brings back flashbacks of my life as a Mormon.

Still working on the authentication/self-actualization part. That may take the rest of my life (and then some!)

I suggest "group think."

I still have to pause and think of what is really how I feel and even then it doesn't feel authentic it's bad I'm a walking liar without my own mind

badassadam Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I still have to pause and think of what is really
> how I feel and even then it doesn't feel authentic
> it's bad I'm a walking liar without my own mind



NO!

You are NOT a "walking liar!"

You are seeking various truths while deprogramming yourself. You are one of the brave, the strong, the authentic. It IS NOT your fault that you became a victim of a mind-twisting cult!

Your feelings will not always be so confusing. You will discover your own opinions and embrace them in joy. You should allow yourself to grieve the losses you feel without self-blame.

Please repeat this to yourself: (a new "group-speak" sent in kindness and from freedom)

It was not my fault.
I am smart and brave and will figure this out.
I deserve to love myself, even when confused.
I will respect myself for the person I am, and will allow that I am a faulty human among faulty humans.
I will make choices that may not work out, but that's okay, because that means an opportunity to learn something.

I wrote it down people told me deprogramming would be hell but I never thought it would be like this I feel like a dumbass all the time like a robot is talking for me you have to truly break off to truly understand its worse than quitting the hardest drugs.

It does get better b.a.adam. Keep reading and posting. Anger, confusion and sadness are all very common reactions when "waking up." You are healing from years of having been manipulated. You've come to a safe place full of caring and smart people who have walked the path your on, and emerged to find a bright and sunny world, full of possibilities.

You can do this. Hang in there. Sending good thoughts your way.

I don't even know what that bright new sunny world is its a million miles away from comprehension whatever it is but I am strong I have to do this or its over I have seen the happiness that I desire from those that have broken off for several years and that's what I want I want my real emotions back and my complete mind and soul back.

This post just made me realize why I was never a very good mormon. I never felt at home or comfortable there. I thought it was something wrong with me at the time.

Now I realize it was because there was something very right with me. I never gave over my thought processes about myself. I always maintained friends and interests outside of church. I always chose my marriage, children, friends, and hobbies over church functions.

I think because of that it made it easier for me to leave when I found out the truth. I was instantly done, with no second thoughts. I most certainly don't miss it. In fact, I don't think I could into a mormon building without cringing and being extremely guarded. I doubt I will subject myself to that.

That's a good point, Rubicon. The laundered brain cycles through cliched thoughts. It blocks dirty thoughts with the soapy agitation of repetition. "Jesus loves you. The Lord will never give yo a burden you can't bear. You can't make it on your own with the gospel."

You are lucky Ericka because I feel like I have a huge grudge to settle with the big 15 before I can move on and have peace not just for me but for everyone they destroyed mentally and for all those that killed themselves because they got boxed in a religious corner.

" His brain has not only been washed, as they say... It has been
dry cleaned."
-- Dr. Yen Lo in "The Manchurian Candidate" 1962

To be clear, the difference between brainwashing and teaching is
the scheduling of rewards and punishments to condition the
desired thoughts and behaviors at a very deep level. Mormonism
co-opts the family unit to do this.

All of us who were BIC can recall many, many times when doing the
CHURCH thing brought us praise from those close to us and when
doing the NON-CHURCH thing brought us scorn.

In fact, I maintain that the so-called "bitterness" that
apostates are often accused of does not occur when they realize
Mormonism is false, nor even when they separate themselves from
church activity, but it is a natural reaction to how they are
treated by those close to them.

Brainwashing doesn't only happens in groups or cults. It can happen by one person doing it to another.

I've seen that happen with my siblings and their partners (or ex partners)