If so, what was said?

I've never declined a calling yet, but had declined to speak in sacrement mtg. as well as offering the prayer (I am deathly afraid of speaking in front of large crowds). I could tell that the clerk was taken back by the pause.

I had spent aprox. 5 years with in a singles ward as executive secretary, pianist, ward magazine salesman and home inspector. ALL AT THE SAME TIME. I had HAD IT. They changed bishops and I decided to go to the family ward. The bishop hauled me into his office for an interview and said "Can we give you a calling?". I looked him in the eye and said "nope." He was surprised to say the least, but after I explained myself he understood.

I was there for about a year and he hauled me in again. He said "I'd like to give you a calling." I said "ok - you come up with something that won't take a lot of time and won't require me to be here every week and I'll think about it." He did and came up with emergency prepardness spec. Oh god. He said that it was one stake meeting a month and report back to the ward. I missed my first stake meeting and he never saw me again.

Hell yes, if I didn't like the calling I just told them I thought they had the wrong inspiration for me, such as nursery or cub scouts.

There was no way I was EVER doing those things. They were fine with it, and eventually gave me something I could deal with.

I was asked to be a Scoutmaster. I had 3 children at the time under the age of 10 and was gone all week on business. I was generally home on weekends, but I did have to work some Saturdays. I was never available during the week and this calling was simply not possible unless I was going to quit my job to take it. So I immediately declined the calling.

What was said to me was that I was letting Jesus and Heavenly Father down as well as all my brothers and sisters in the Ward.
They needed a Scoutmaster and I was the one selected.

Moreover, I was reminded that I promised to obey my leaders, even to the point of raising my hand to the square to sustain them and that it was my obligation to accept the calling extended to me at this time. (The bishopric had just been called 3 weeks prior, so it was new)

Furthermore, the entire Bishopric had prayed and that was sufficient. How ungrateful I was not to follow their guidance. Now was I really willing to sit there & not say yes?

What about my convenants in the temple? How could I not agree to consecrate all my time to this calling? If I need a job, surely that was what god wanted me to do and if I have sufficient faith, new employment would be found. I had faith in God, didn't I?

What would Jesus do, Bro. Lost if the Lord called him? I suggest you think about this, so I will call you later tonight for you answer.

Nice, eh?

I looked him (2nd Councilor in Bishopric) right in the eye and my response was succinct:

I will never accept any calling you offer me when you do so in this manner. It is rude, offensive and completely in error.

So that you at least somewhat understand the magnitude of your mistake, I will explain one of your false statements. I was not present when the Bishopric of this Ward was called. I was out of town on business, so I did not raise my hand to the square. Even if I had, I would have been pledging support, NOT OBEDIENCE. I would have been asked if there was any reason the Bishporic should not serve and then I would have been asked for my sustaining vote. Please do not ever suggest I pledged anything to the Bishopric or anyone else unless you WITNESSED it personally. And never, ever try to abuse me verbally again.

As to what Jesus would do: He would throw your fat ass out of his church just like he threw the moneychangers out of his temple.

This *meeting* is over. I will not accept this calling.

And I got up and left.

They called someone else a couple weeks later.

Were there ever any repercussions to your telling off the odorous vermin who did this thing to you, be it in not being "called" to do anything or really low-level stuff or . . . ?

In August of 2007 the Bishop told me that he had submiotted my name to the Stake President to call me as the High Priest Group Leader. I told him BP needed to meet with him first. You see, it was only three months before that that I found out that the church was not true.

So we had our meeting and I laid it all out-BoA,Plygamy, a hundred other things just gushed forth, It was the first time I had said anything about my fears.

We agreed that I should pass on this one. Funny how the mantle of discernment led him to choose the one HighPriest in the ward who would be leaving the church in a few months.

Yes. I said I was shy and that I'd never get up in front of the room and conduct music. And although I can read music, I don't know how to conduct it.

I accepted the calling at first, but then before I even started it, I went in and said, "Sorry, I know that I'm just not going to do it. I simply won't show up."

The Bishop asked me if I was really sure, and gave me the old, "God knows what He's doing," speech, but upon seeing that I wasn't going to back down, thanked me for letting him know and chose someone else.

I did. Here was the situation.
I had 3 kids. The youngest one was almost ready to start school. He had leukemia when her was 2 and had just completed treatment the year before. This child also has a significant disability.

we knew the schools in our city had a very poor reputation where special ed was concerned. In fact, we learned he would be bused clear across the city for classes. Because we belonged in a support group, we knew what services were available in neighboring communities. So, we had set our sites on the schools that had a more progressive view of special ed.

Oh, and I'm working full time,

So, I get a call to see bishop and he calls me to be the primary president. I tell him I don't think that is a good idea as we are looking at moving and it would be out of the ward. He told me maybe it was Gods way of telling us we needed to stay.

Uh, no. Didn't buy that one. We had done our research..we were moving...and soon. So, then he tried to get me to take the calling just in case we never find a house.

Uh, no. I knew there was no way I could do justice to that calling having 3 kids, working full time and looking for a house. Plus, we had just gotten though a few very stressful couple of years (which is why we wanted to move vs fighting with the current school system).

In the end, I just said no. We found a house and moved a few months later. My son is now 21 and the schools have been great!! The schools in our old community have not faired well.

I was in a Ward where the median age was 25. At one time there were over 100 Sunbeams in the ward.
The Bishops 2nd C came skipping up to me one Sunday morning and asked to meet me privately. We stepping into a classroom where he informed me that God himself was calling me to be the Ward Activities Director. Of course on top of EQ teaching assignment. I told him I'd think about it for a week. (This is not a job for me, I don't go to ward parties/activities, they're not my thing). Next Sunday comes and here he comes, skipping over to me again. (he really skipped when he was excited) He sat down next to me with this GIANT $*&t eating grin and says, "can we meet you after this meeting and set you apart"? I grinned back and said very nicely, "NO, I'll pass on this one". His demeanor changed to completely devastated. (I'm sure this was his idea in the first place). Mr. 2nd C never, ever spoke to me again. My gain.

I was asked to organise the Ward Camp.
''No. Sorry. I don't like camping and I don't have time to do it.''

<pause>

'Erm... okay. How often do you go to the temple?'

''I don't go, it's not my thing I think it's too weird for me.''

<pause>

'Erm... okay...thanks'

<meeting ended>

I got a message that the Sunday School president wanted to see me and specified which night to meet up with him. Since I had a previous engagement for that night, I left him a message that I wouldn't be there. Apparently he never got the message or that he felt he trumped my plans for that night. The next day we spoke and he basically balled me out saying that his authority came directly from god and that I should have been there. I told him that my future is more important than me than him. I guess he didn't like being told that.

Anyway, he said he spoke with the BP and they felt that I should be called to be the gospel doctrine class president. I asked how that would work since I don't go to church.

"Well you would have to start attending classes."

Yeah, like that is going to happen. I told there is a reason that I don't go so no, I would not be class president.

The ward had treated me with a cold shoulder for a couple of years, especially after they found out I was divorced. After this, they started treating me like I had the plague. This is actually been a good thing. I have never been one of their activation projects. My "home teachers" show up about once every six months - unannounced, of course.

I had just gotten back from having 18 months of having operations on my feet due to problems I developed in Afghanistan while being deployed. I was then medically retired from the Army and had finally came home. My wife was having knee and hip problems due to two knee surguries not correcting the problem. I have lost my testamonkey by then because of the crappy way that officers in the unit blatently just thought because they were commissioned officers and had direct revelation from the Lawrd.

Well needless to say I had had enough by then The first Sunday back, after basically being gone for 3 and half years, the FC in the BP asks if we want to renew our temple reccomends. He doesn't not really ask but demands us to. My radar went up then and I said no I just got back and need to hold off. I know it was a numbers thing and I was not going to play it so we did not. I did this for a few weeks then did not due it due to Prop 8. Well the BP hemmed and hawed about it then, because DW wanted to do it I went ahead and got it. Never used it, and yeah I was offended later so, I gave it back and have never gone back.

About the calling, we got called into the BP's office and knew they wanted to call us to something. We already decided if it was for the Primary, it was a no-brainer.we had already decided no. Well we get called in and sure enough, he asks, " The Lord has extended a call for you to serve in the Primary and team teach the six year olds!" My DW and I looked at each other, smiled, and I said, "No, if you were to call us as Gospel Principle teachers or anything where we don't have to deal with children then we would do it." I said that reluctantly. The look on the Bishop was total shock. It was like no one had ever told him no before. He asked why and I told him I can't deal with kids and crowds because of PTSD and my feet and DW with her hip issues. Well he said that there is no need for a Gospel Principle teacher due to no investigators of the gospel. Well duhh, ya think?!! We said our good-byes and then proceeded to go over to the Primary Presidents home who were friends with us at the time. (That is another story to be discussed later) We asked her why call us? We have too many issues going on, and she said she did'nt think so when she reccomeded us to the Bishop for the calling. We said no, she turned red with embarrassment and said she felt bad that that happened.

So if any of the people who cruise this board and think callings are divinely inspired, get a clue, they aren't.

I think it was ward temple night coordinator, then he released me from that, called me in to give a new calling as...wait for it...

ward temple night coordinator. I told him I was just released from the same "calling" and he looked surprised. I'm sure it was all god's will, though. LOL.

I declined a calling that I would actually probably have enjoyed doing, and it wasn't because of the calling. Before they called me they asked my husband's permission to call me. I told them that I wasn't going to do any church calling unless they could treat me like an adult.

I pointed out to them that if they were involved in some kind of community organization, or they were an employer, and they wanted to ask me to do something or they wanted to hire me, it wouldn't even occur to them to ask my husband's permission before they asked me to do it. It was only when they put on their church role that they thought it was OK to treat me like a child.

So I said no. I told them the only place where I was treated like that was at church, and I wasn't willing to be treated that way any more.

I think that one member of the bishopric actually learned a lesson from that. It was totally lost on another member.

When I get released as finance clerk I won't accept any new "callings". So, the answer is no, I have not yet declined a calling.

Turned down FC in Bishopric last year - SP took it well but was a little surprised that I wasn't spiritually at the place that he thought I was. This was a month or two before I even stumbled across this site and all the BoA, multiple 1st vision etc stuff and I just declined because I didn't want to be a hypocrite.

I'm so glad I said no. They since called some other mug into that position and he's pulled in so many different directions on top of a demanding job and young family. I would now have no qualms in saying no to something I didn't want to do. Since I said no I haven't been struck down by a lightening bolt and in fact work, family and everything else has never been better. The fear of turning down a calling has completely disappeared.

When I met with the bishop to get released from my calling as exec secretary because I no longer believed, he tried to call me to teach primary instead. This was not a calling resulting from revelation. I told him no.

onlyme Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> When I met with the bishop to get released from my calling as exec secretary because I no longer
> believed, he tried to call me to teach primary instead. This was not a calling resulting from revelation. I told him no.


And he then said . . . . . ?

I don't remember the details but I think he said something along the lines of how that calling would give me the opportunity to bear my testimony frequently which would help me get it back. I told him no, I don't want to teach kids things that I don't believe myself. he then just moved on to other topics.

A few times. The first time was when I was a single adult--and I had SEVEN CALLINGS. The bishop called me in yet again to be a ref for girls basketball. Okay--I could ref softball and volleyball so-so--basketball, HELL NO! I had done it for several years and all I ever did was run up and down the court and the other girl always called everything. I told him that I wasn't going to do that again!!! He laughed.

Then after I'd been inactive for a while, my ex had been gone for about 3 years, the ex-bishop's wife (who my ex had been ex. sec. for and this couple LOVED my husband)--anyway, she asked them to call me as a counselor in YWs with her. She even came by and talked to me about it. I had been in YWs before and I knew how much time it took. I was working 2 jobs and raising 2 kids by myself--and I was really surprised they called me when I had been inactive for SO LONG. I told the--"No. I needed to be taking care of my kids."

While I was working through my departure from the church the new EQP(my replacement) came to visit me. I know I had been a frequent topic of discussion in PEC and ward council and there was a heavy, full court press on for my salvation.

Anyway, this guy is sitting in my living room pulling out every "tear jerk" trick in his bag. He's a CES professional Seminary teacher so he had lots of FPR type crap to throw at me. As he droned on and on I was shocked at his blatant attempts to manipulate my emotions. Maybe that crap works on high school students but I was appalled.

After a while it became obvious to him that it just wasn't going to work on me so he changed his routine and tried the guilt trip. He pulled out a little slip of paper with my new home teaching assignment on it. Yeah, that went over well.

I refused to take the paper from him and told him I wasn't going to be doing any home teaching. He looked like he was going to have a stroke or something. He started in on the whole Home Teaching is a duty and not a calling and you don't have a choice and it's God's plan and blah blah blah. When I finally got a chance to say anything I simply said: You can assign me all you want, but I'm never going to do it.

That was about six years ago and I've never heard another word from anyone about home teaching or any other calling.

Stunted.

Several.

I declined a calling to be a Primary teacher ... I told the BP that I had a stake calling (small but it did require me to be out visiting other wards). They were surprised to hear that but let me go.

The next one was an activities director. I asked them to explain me what exactly were the demands and how it worked and the only answer I got was to talk to the person currently serving in that calling. WTF? You ask me to do something and expect me to agree without even explaining what it entails? I said I'd think about it and then said no. I was given the temple covenants speech.

The next one was another stake calling. Then I told bishop I was done with the calling I had and that was it.It gets easier along the way ;)

I have never attended the ward that I live in now. My wife attends fairly regularly.

A bishopric member came over, I usually ignore them and go about my business when they come over. He said that he actually came to see me. So I sat down and asked him what he needed to talk to me about. I had never attended this ward, only met this guy one time before and had not been to church in close to 4 years.

He told me that they had a calling they wanted me to accept. It was assistant scoutmaster. I snickered a little bit and told him I was not interested.

He asked if I would think about it. I told him that if he would feel better leaving my house thinking that I would think about it, I would tell him that I was thinking about it. But not to count on anything changing.

Then he said 'you have a son that will be in scouts soon and wouldnt it be nice to be doing the calling with him in the program'. I told him that my son was 6 months away from being 12. He then asked if I would consider it when my son turned 12, I told him no.

Then he started the guilt trip lines. I dont remember what they were, but I just started smiling because I thought they were so pathetic. He stopped midstream and said that he would not try to guilt trip me. I told him that it would not work anyway.

I told him my feelings about he scouting program - I am no friend of scouting.

He left and hasnt bothered me since.

I've turned down the opportunity to be the ward librarian--TWICE, har har, and I've never regretted it.

and I'd hinted, but not totally come out with my disbelief even to my DW. They asked me to come in early and meet with one of the high councilmen before church. I was "called" as a counselor in the Elder's Quorum and said "No, I don't think so right now."

The look on the guy's face was priceless. I don't know if anyone had ever said no to him before. He asked why so I said something vague about having some doubts about some doctrinal stuff. He then asked if I'd mind waiting a few minutes and talking to a member of the Stake Presidency. I said sure. He left the room and a few minutes later in came one of the Stake Presidency. For the first bit he seemed to be probing for clues about what "sins" might be at the root of my problems to which I was able to honestly answer that "no" I wasn't watching pornography, no I hadn't started drinking or doing drugs, no I was fine with my wife, and no, I hadn't (yet) read anything that could remotely be considered anti-mormon, etc. Finally he asked me what type of doctrinal issues I had. I really didn't want to get into it with him so I threw out an obvious (to me) problematic issue ... that of the worldwide flood and other unspecified doctrinal issues and stories that were contradicted by science and history. Interestingly his response was that we all need to resolve these issues at some time and he had. He then proceeded to tell me how as a kid in Utah (we were in Chicago area at the time) he loved hiking in the mountains and remembered finding "seashells" while hiking high in the Rockies and to him that was all the proof he needed because how else could those seashells have got there than via the flood? (I remember finding those little white shells in the mountains as a kid too along with living snails and such. I guess he didn't know that "snails" live pretty much everywhere and even if they were seashells he hadn't wondered about how come they hadn't disintegrated or otherwise degraded over the last 4000 years?) I just kind of stared at him and said something like ... "OK for you, but that doesn't work for me." and we made a few more small talk comments and then got up and left for sacrament meeting.

I don't think I've turned down a calling after having been asked, but after my mission, I made it very clear that I was not giving the "homecoming talk" and I would not accept any callings that forced my attendance on Sunday. I also said that I was not interested in being/having home teachers. I didn't even last one year after that.

I was called to be choir director. What a joke. I play guitar and have no experience in choir. I turned it down knowing that it would be way too much time for me to learn choir directing.

...1992 be be exact I was a new manager of a shoe store that was on the bottom of the district. I had been transfered to this area to get the store back on it's feet.

It was a hell of a deal. 12-14 hours a day work for about 5 months. Suddenly, I was called one Sunday to an interview with the high councilman. The Lawrd Gawd Almity had called me to be in the Elder's Quorum as 2nd Councilor!

At that time I was not in much of a church going mood anyway and I attempted to explain to the HC that my job was going to require a lot of work in the coming months and the time I had left I wanted to spend with my family.

He began to harrang me. "I'm not asking you to throw a sack of corn over your shoulder and walk out west".... "This calling is from the Lord"...."The church DOES NOT NEED YOU but you need the church".

The guy was one real mean son of a bitch. Finally I caved in. I did get released after a few months but not before they brought ANOTHER high councilman in to try and talk me out of it.

So old man Chipman, thanks for calling me into the Elder's Quorum! It helped me see just what a bunch of blood sucking pigs Mormon leaders really are!

Not once did I decline. However, when I was in the bishopric, several high-brow members would decline lowly ward callings stating that they were waiting for "a stake calling". WTF?

Ron

MY dad did that LOL!

Double-Hell-Yeah I did.

In the last two years of my activity, I refused every calling that was issued. The usual response was "Pray and think about it and we'll talk again next week". This would go on until they really needed to fill the calling and would put someone else in.

I basically told them up front "I have issues with a number of doctrines of the church and I am morally obligated by my beliefs not to be in a position where I can be taken to agree with things I don't believe in. That means if I am called to a teaching position, there are things on the program I just won't advocate and there are things on the program I might feel morally compelled to advocate against. If I agree to this calling, it needs to be with that understanding."

Afer my VT comp and I were told to spy on a family who had asked for help (husband was laid off) We were asked to look for contrabands in their home.
We were upset all the way there and turned in our 'papers' afterwards and letting the bish know what we thought of that as well. I just regret not having refused before visiting, but maybe they did get help,if for no other reason than the embarrasement it might've cost him if I took it further. I never got another calling after that. Haha!
That was one of my early 'aha moments'.

Yup. 4 times. 3 times for nursery, 1 time for Primary.

Another straw for me. I would ask myself, why the eff are they trying to stick me with kids all the time? Clearly there's no inspiration there.

ETA - forgot to answer the rest of the question...

Basically, BP or one of his counselors would say we would like to extend you a calling as a nursery worker. Would you accept the calling?

Me: NO

BP: Would you like to home and pray about it?

Me: No. That won't be necessary. Is that all?

Then I'd get up and leave all irritated having yet again voluntarily wasted my time.

I must say the look on the faces of these PH leaders being told NO was priceless :) They had no idea what to do. I was thinking like honestly, does no one say no to them? Why are they acting so shocked?



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 03/28/2011 05:01PM by goldenrule.

I've posted this before so if you've seen this already, sorry.

My dad was a convert (mom was BIC from pioneer stock) and at one point was promised to become high priest and on the high council (He had been a member for 30 years at this point). He wanted to travel and give talks which, he was good at. He did not get that job but instead was called to be scout master which he declined. The bishop ignored him and called him anyway. My dad raised his own hand when the bishop got to the part about anyone declining…

My dad gave a talk in sacrament meeting which was customary and basically told everyone that he had declined and had no intention whatsoever of being scout leader again. He was so pissed off driving home from church that day and couldn’t believe that people had actually come up to him congratulating him on his new calling when he did everything in his power to turn it down!

Sure.

They would always try to lure people to work in the damn nursery. I always said NO.

We had 3 kids, all planned to be 1 1/2 years apart and we were done.

I was not interested in dealing with other people's brats EVER.

Thats right, 2nd counselor. I couldn't believe it. I hadn't home taught or paid tithing in 3 years. I told the Stake President that I didn't think it would be a good idea and that I wouldn't be comfortable doing it. He used the standard manipulative tactics of saying, "the Lord wants you to do this... blah blah blah." I didn't get into the extent of my disbelief with him because frankly I don't owe him or anyone else an explanation. I just reiterated that I would respectfully decline. He seemed dumbfounded.
The beautiful thing is that they pretty much avoid talking to me now (both the SP and Bishy).

My bishop called me to the nursery as a 21 year old RM. I told him if I was gonna be a babysitter he would have to pay me or allow me to pay 5% tithing for the duration of my service. He didn't find that as clever as I did.

Oh! Oh! I did! I declined a calling!
Years back when I was a TBM- I was asked -as a 'calling', mind you--to 'tend' to a prominant(rich) member's (darling) down syndrome daughter while she taught the young women. 2 hours of chasing a special needs 3 year old -she did not do well in regular sunbeam class (I am guessing that was the reason) Anyway, I was told there was a list of things she could do, not do, eat, not eat---etc.
I was a Special Education Assistant at a local elementary school at the time. So 5 days a week, 6 hours a day I tended to many special needs students. Plus I have my own 4 children attending 3 different schools (elementary, jr high, high school)
With 1 day of the week off on Sunday (Saturday is all about family, activities, shopping, working, cleaning etc) I was happy to sit in Relief Society and just be.
So I told the Bishop-Nope! I can't do it-I tend Special needs kids all week - If I have to work on Sunday-you'll need to pay me the $11 an hour. Well my then husband (now ex) was just pissed that I would decline a calling from heavenly father-and of course I was put further down the Bishop's s*%t list for any further callings of 'importance'. But now I don't care and glad I said No.

"If I have to work on Sunday-you'll need to pay me the $11 an hour."

Great response, and very appropriate! Who wants to do their paid job on Sunday. I would have added, "since its Sunday, that'll be plus Overtime!"

of the one active Laurel in the class, me.

I told the bishop I was too busy, didn't think I'd have time to do it right. And I started listing off the stuff I did and he had to agree.

I don't think I came out and said, "No.", more of a stonewalling approach.

He called another inactive girl. I recall we visited her once.