Posted by:
Breeze
(
)
Date: March 23, 2017 07:55PM
Any "pain" came from the Mormon abuse my children and I suffered. I also felt guilt for raising my innocent kids in a cult.
Leaving the cult was a good decision for us. When we stopped attending, I still partially believed in Mormonism, but my children did not, and they had good arguments. I studied, and came on RFM. I even took a few days off of work, and didn't sleep or eat--just read about all the Mormon lies. I guess that stage was painful. I was stunned that my own parents, relatives, and "friends" would lie to me. I was consumed with anger!
But nothing--nothing was ever as "painful" as living as a member of that evil cult! Like drugs--the worst day cult-free is still better than the best day at church.
When we went inactive, the Mormons harassed, bullied, maligned, and threatened us. After we officially resigned by letter, the Mormons shunned us. They tried very hard to cause us pain.
But--the joy of finding out those abusers had no authority from God, that my children and I were not going to be sent to Hell or Outer Darkness or the Telestial Kingdom, or whatever, that Polygamy was NOT God's way--and all the other garbage was FALSE--my happiness made the Mormon hatred towards me worth it! If that was the worst they could dish out, it was nothing!
So--leaving Mormonism--even with the Mormon shunning and hatred--was a positive, joyful, freeing experience! It brought me and my children closer. It cured my "Sunday depression." I had my self-esteem and autonomy back! Yeah!
I suspected that Christianity was made-up myths, also, but decided to hold onto my belief in God and Christ, until I had adjusted to leaving Mormonism.
Beginning to believe that Christianity is false, and that there is no afterlife is a mixed bag. It is painful. It is also part of my quest for Truth. We all have to face death, so having no after-life is sort of a natural progression. We came from the earth (and all star-stuff) and we return to the earth. Life has far greater value and meaning to me now. The Mormons had taken that away from me, by making me obey and EARN a place in heaven.
Not having an afterlife sets us free to live this life. Most of us would never do anything mean or self-destructive, anyway, even if there were no "commandments." Love is natural.
Frankly, I was dreading the Celestial Kingdom! My children and I were forever sealed (no matter how hard we tried to end that) to my first wife-beater temple husband--a creep that my children (born to my 2nd husband several years later) had never met! Living with a polygamous wife-beater forever--that would be Hell for an afterlife. So glad there isn't one.
The bottom line is, that knowing the Truth is a good thing! The process of learning (the hard way) the truth might be painful, but once you know, you realize there are a lot of new Truths to discover, and you never stop seeking. That's living!