I think it needs mention to those entering a relationship.

What do you mean by pillow talk?

Just imagine a couple going to bed, heads on their pillows, looking each other in the eye, just shooting the shit.

I would rather have an on-going conversation throughout the day at intermediate times. Trying to talk to me as I'm falling asleep is a guaranteed restless night of even worse sleep on a typical weeknight. Couples have to find their own communication style that works for them.

Agreed, pillow talk to me is a sure sign of a restless night. It is similar to the moron bishop who, like many untrained counselors, told my new wife and I that we should never go to bed angry at each other.

Dumb ass caused me many 3 AM heartaches that would have been just as easily solved by getting a good nights sleep.

We tend to have our heart to heart, deep conversations, on the road unless something serious is going on. I prefer to have a conversation in the car because it's private, we usually have a long way to go, thus plenty of time to discuss the facets, and we can take breaks to think about what has come up. Because I spend several hours a day talking to a multitude of personalities and deal with the issues there-in, I need some time to decompress for a bit.

Most couples don't talk to each other.

They talk AT each other.

They come home, and talk about how crappy their day was, do their daily chores, watch TV, and go to bed.

When they do talk, they only talk about current events.

Couples that do that really don't have a marriage in my book, they are just roomies with benefits.

It doesn't have to be literally pillow talk, it could be sitting on the couch, facing each other, with all distractions turned off and put down (phone).

It's sad that there is a fraction of couples that live together for years, but really don't know each other below the surface.

Mrs. GBL and I indulge in our share of pillow talk, but we also walk together and talk a lot while we're out and about.

We don't have a car. In our Ecuadorian barrio we walk to the bank, the bakery, the fruit vendor etc. Meanwhile back at home there's often a lot going on: our building includes four families, ours and her three siblings and their kids--a total of 19 people. It gets crazy. So we like nothing better than to head off to the butcher or hardware store, just the two of us.

Hand in hand. Sometimes we'll walk a block or more and not a word will escape our lips, but our hands will be talking. A subtle squeeze, the caress of a finger in a palm. Says a lot, actually. Our hands reminisce to back when we first met, when my Spanish was nil and her English even less, and touch was 90% of the conversation.

I'm immensely glad for the Quality of responses on this thread!

Thank You!!

I thought you were talking about the person on here with the screen name pillowtalk it was very confusing

post-coital? Trying to talk to a post-coital man might not be that productive.

Pillow Talk. Rock Hudson. Doris Day. The best romantic comedy of all time for sure.

You are either communicating or you are not. A pillow is just a prop. Sometimes though, when people are really really tired, the exhaustion works like a truth serum. Can't hold it in anymore. Just too tired for whatever reason and they come out with the truth. Take it back the next day. Humans. Communication. Good luck. I know I'm bad at it.

What a great movie.

That's all I thought about when visiting this thread.

You mention it. What needs mentioning? Might you elaborate?

M@t

I am not sure what you would like elaborated. Pillow Talk is one of my all time favorite movies and so came to mind instantly. Wasn't allow to see it when I was about 14 and it came out in 1959. Wanted to see Some Like It Hot the same year but no. Our regular Mormon neighbors went to see it and couldn't stop raving. They weren't going to ramp it up to full TBM for another two years.

I could write a whole thread about Pillow Talk as a metaphor for Mormonism though. The good girl (victims of Mormonism) so sincere. She has no way to know that the guy she is falling in love with (Mormon Church)is a phony womanizer pretending to be something he is not (honest and true).

She recognizes the truth when she hears a certain song (Church Essays?) and she stomps out. BUT, she can't let go. The "feelings" are there and they are strong. He makes her believe he really loves her. She doubts her doubts. Happy ending.

The story stops there before she hears him singing his song to someone else while she's cleaning the toilets. Which is what happens to Mormons who cling with their faith to the facade presented them no matter what facts are flung in their faces.

Pillow talk. It is very important for all of us to understand that we never really know when we are being led on. Our tendency is to doubt ourselves, tell ourselves that we are being silly when our stomach is churning. Why? Because we want to believe. We all believe in those god damn happy endings which are actually just the beginning of the hardest part.

"If you just believe . . ." --Jiminy Cricket. Works in Disney movies. Real life? Not so sure. It's not so much that we are trusting our feelings. It's that we are trusting our "wishes."

Do you mean turning towards your partner and expanding engagement holding or talking after physical intimacy rather than turning away or standing and walking away from that partner and disengaging from them instead after intimacy

It's good. But Pillow Talk with Doris day was great..

You mean more than "was it good for you, too?" :)

I don't find that to be the "best" time for communicating with my spouse. It IS the "best" time for intimacy and making sure they know how much you care for them. Unless you're not with a spouse or long-term partner, and are just having a quickie, in which case it might be a good time to ask the other person their name...

In my experience, if you have good communication with your spouse, you don't need "special times" to have good communication. You can do it anywhere, anytime. What's "best" is communicating openly, honestly, and regularly. To me, anyway.