"Third, dare to have the "big talks" with your sons.You know what I mean:talks about drugs and drinking,about the dangers of pornography-and about priesthood worthiness,respect for girls, and moral cleanliness.While these should not be the only subjects you talk about with your sons, please don't shy away from them. Your boys need your counsel, guidance, and input on these subjects. As you talk about these very important matters, you will find that the trust between you will flourish"

Does he mean talk about how wonderful drugs and drinking have been for me personally? And what exactly is so moral about treating women as brood mares? I would definitely warn him of the dangers of Mormonism.

"As you talk about these very important matters, you will find that the trust between you will flourish"

No. No it won't. Your sons will lie to you just like they lie to your bishop. Just like you lie to your bishop. You are just teaching them how to lie more frequently and more often...just like you do.

You can start by ignoring idiots like Ballard and his buddies and find sources that are actually INFORMED on the subject of child rearing.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 08/08/2016 05:32AM by lurking in.

Yes, lurking in.

Ballard's advice is fine as far as it does, which is not nearly far enough. Yes, we should talk to our children. But they will benefit from perspectives much broader and less judgmental than those of the church.

"As you talk about these very important matters, you will find that the trust between you will flourish."

Boy do I disagree with that line! At least, not without saying a bit more about HOW to talk to your kids. My dad felt like it was his patriarchal duty to lecture us about various topics. This did not build trust, but rather the opposite. The problem was that he was the most selfish and bossy member of the family, so much of what he lectured about just came off as hypocritical.

My mother,on the other hand, would periodically just snuggle up to one of us and just talk about stuff, and how we were, and tell us she loved us. SHE was the one that built trust just by being open and caring. When I had questions or concerns about anything, I went to HER, never to HIM.

Sorry, but the last thing I ever wanted my Dad to do was interview me about worthiness. He once asked me about masturbation and that whole experience ranks as one of the most uncomfortable of my childhood.

Bamboozled Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> He once
> asked me about masturbation and that whole
> experience ranks as one of the most uncomfortable
> of my childhood.

My father kicking me out of the house was less uncomfortable than him talking about having sex was better than masturbating so wait and don't masturbate.

I don't see how a totally believing TBM could ever have a open honest relationship with their kids. TBM's are just to brainwashed. Mormon parents are all about putting on a show about how perfect their families are. Especially the upper middle class, living up on the hill Utah families. At least in my experience. Wealthy wards in Utah are all about the perfect family show. It's sick!!

64monkey Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Wealthy wards in Utah are
> all about the perfect family show.

I haven't been in a ward where what was playing was NOT the perfect family show and growing up I had to perform it. We weren't wealthy.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 08/08/2016 03:52PM by Elder Berry.

There is no way I wanted to talk to my dad about M, girlfriends, etc. Ballard is so full of shiz.

Boys will learn about life from the other boys! That is how it's always done.

Yes. We learn about sex on the streets. That is how it's always done.

Not always......my older brother and his friends were either very mistaken or they were just messing with me when they explained how "sex" worked.

My older sister set me straight and explained how it really works. I always appreciated that about her.

The church attempts to rationalize its veracity by providing one-size-fits-all cookie-cutter advice and solutions to common daily tasks, challenges etc.

Doing so reinforces its teachings that (a) members are incapable of independent thought, and (b) the church is the sole source for filling in the blanks.

Thus: you need to talk to your boys and we'll set the parameters for doing so, and the agenda. Don't think for yourself; OBEY.

Problem in, in every choice we have in this life--raising kids, putting things into our bodies, making love with others, deciding how to spend our Sundays--the church is woefully lacking and inept in providing solutions to our INDIVIDUAL needs.

Maybe I'll drink coffee; maybe I won't. Maybe I'll stop by the church this Sunday; maybe I'll go to a wine tasting instead. Maybe I'll urge my kids to avoid sex until they're married; maybe I'll show them how condoms work.

How do I talk to my kids, and about what subjects, and with what information, and with what desired outcomes? Those are MY decisions. Nobody tells me otherwise. Stating or implying that they have the authority to do otherwise reveals them to be mere ignorant fools.

I think Ballard was attempting to teach us to not waste our half our lives.
I know I spent half my life drinking and smoking and chasing women.
The other half I WASTED

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n2A194yTWoQ

Why doesn't Ballard just show them the above clip!

To state it clearly - Ballard is an idiot!

He should just stick to stuff that he doesn't know anything about; like 1992 missionary car safety training videos.

I have to agree with him somewhat. Yes, those are conversations dads should have with sons--especially teaching them to respect women, and that there are dangers with porn. Not danger of going to hell, but danger of thinking that it depicts normal relationships or normal ways of treating women or how it can damage a relationship if a woman thinks she's not enough for her man or things like that.

But we all know what he's really saying. He's not telling them to teach their sons about healthy relationships. He's not telling them to teach their sons about responsibility in relationships (i.e., their responsibility for birth control, STD prevention, etc.). He's telling them to guilt their sons and make sure they aren't touching themselves.

God, the mormons know how to fuck their kids up.

Did anyone catch the first few sentences from him today at GC?

You can gnatter about shit all day long at your kids...talk is cheap...whisky costs money...show your kids...show your kids how to respect women...if you make a big deal out of porn or sex it has the opposite effect...show them how to be honest with their fellow man...show them how to help the one ehose down..show them how to serve...all i ever toldmy boys was your gonna wanna look at naked women..not one dam thing wrong with that...you wanna try booze..just say the word...i knew jack about drugs...boys are gonna thumb their dummy...end of story...couple years ago one son texted me and said ...dad thanks for not making a big deal out of masturbation and sex....made my day...anyone who thinks ballards little spiel is gonna improve relationships is sucking slough water...unless its light hearted joking around the campfire just like theyd do with the buddies theyre gonna learn from anyway...to hell with guilt and $&@& fear...it makes better people without them Imo...the boogey man just isnt gonna getcha..but do be careful out there..your mother and i love ya...what i see in moism...is an awful lot of talking and not much doing...especially from the stipend guys...talk talk talk

^^^^^This^^^^^^ And, I've talked with my sons about life's pitfall. I have also told them that it's inappropriate for a bishop to ask them personal questions about their sex lives. Did I need Ballard to tell me to do this? No, it's called common sense.