Idea One: Say something sweet to your wife, like, "Honey, I really like the way you push that vacuum cleaner around the Relief Society room. It really turns me on!" Then make your move.

Idea Two: Hold your hubby against the door to the Bishop's office and whisper softly into his ear, "Its time to confess you sins, baby!"

Idea Three: Turn off the lights in the chapel for a fun game of hide and seek.

Idea Four: Lock yourselves up together in the library with the non-church approved literature and media materials you purchased in Spanish Fork.

Idea Five: Bring bubble bath and kick back with your hubby in the baptismal font jacuzzi(my personal favorite)

Note: obviously this involves some level of risk and only works if yours is the only couple cleaning the church.... Unless you get a thrill at the heightened risk of being discovered.

But none of your ideas would work because there would be 10 little brats running around asking, "Why are you groping mommy?"

Anyway...after 3 kids the sex is just a tedious, obligatory routine.

But great post anyway!

Perhaps when the call, you could just say something like, "Sure, but the wife and I sometimes like to get frisky in new and interesting places, and the chance of discovery makes it so much more titillating... We're not sure that we will be able to contain ourselves while cleaning as well as we contain ourselves on Sunday... Are you sure you still want us to do it?

If you do have kids with you, you can still use the baptismal font to give everyone a nice bath (saves on your water)

You can "skate" on the polished floors in your socks.

Put funny signs on doors:
Church Business Only, on the restroom door
Home of the Whopper, on the bishop's door
Not Doctrinal, on the library door
Bored Room, on the chapel door

Cut out pictures from bra and lingerie ads and place them between pages in hymn books.

Mix it up!

Pretty funny, Don.

While they are preparing the bread and water in the next sacrament meeting, you could lean over to the people sitting next to you and tell them "You don't wanna know what the wife and I did on that table. Or maybe you do. Wanna hear all about it?"

lol

In my unit, you learn about it through the sacrament meeting program.