Upon reading some I'm so thankful to have found a community of people like me. My first strong emotional memory (besides spiritual tickles[as my mom called them]when I was a tot) was sitting in the bishops office when he asked me if I had a testimony of Joseph Smith as a prophet and then a testimony of the true church. That moment I remember there was such a resounding "I don't know" in my head, but I had a have never been able to make friends that easily (hell, I still have a problem with it now) and the only kids I thought were my friends were in the church. Afraid of being ostracized by the kids who had already been baptised, I made a decision that has caused me great deal of strife over the church ever since. Being a male I was expected to go on my mission, the thought of which had always petrified me. Call me a godless heathen, but wasting two years of life on spreading a message I didn't think of fondly. I got a job just to get a job as a jr in highschool, my parents expected me to save the money I had worked hard for on a two thousand dollar journey they expected me to take, of course, I didn't save a dime. Then just before I turned eighteen, the missionary age had been lowered to eighteen. My plan to escape my parents and their zealous home had been moved up a year. I didn't understand then the emotional strain my parents must have gone through when they discovered I hadn't ​saved up a penny then that I never had wanted to serve in the first place. A fight ensued and I was kicked out... Eventually, they kind of understood. And I was able to move back in with them, to help pay bills. Anyways... I just wanted to thank you guys for giving me a sense of belonging and plenty of material on how to deal with serious Mormons (my parents) hahaha

Welcome to RfM, Holy Diver.

We are glad you joined us!!

:)

You're not alone.

Welcome and feel free to share.

WOW. What a story. Thanks for sharing. I admire the strength you had to claim yourself at such a young age.

You definitely found "your people" here. It's nice to be understood, isn't it?

Welcome, Holy Diver! We're glad to have you.

Ditto to all the above.
This really is a *special* (if you can stand the pun) sight.

Hi and welcome HD. Glad you're here.

Hi Holy Diver and welcome to the forum. :-) This is only the second forum I have ever joined, and must say, I am so fortunate to have found it and especially the love, support, and understanding of so many others. Please let us know how you are doing and feeling- we are here for you 100%. xo :-)

Feel free to vent and express yourself. This is a great place to get some help and insight if you are having troubles that need sage advice. I too am thankful for this community.

Also...
Ride the tiger, You can see his stripes but you know he's clean.

I really appreciate it guys, ever since I had a long talk about how Satan was pursuing me through heavy metal (back when I was a freshman in HS) I've always kind of identified with Metal, especially my man Ronnie James. But back to the topic, while I've been inactive for six years, picking up habits that TBMs would do more than turn up their noses at. I am having a hard time grappling with this, I know there's no way back. I don't want to go back, but I don't know what the heck I'm supposed to do now. I'm not even sure if I'm Christian now, hahaha. Know how many people used to ask me "hey, you LDS?" Then I'd say "well shoot,I was born into it, but I no longer practice." What do you guys say, if you are ever faced with this question? Oh and here's another question, if you don't mind saying, what do you believe now? (Theologically speaking)

>> Know how many people used to ask me "hey, you LDS?" Then I'd say "well shoot, I was born into it, but I no longer practice."

As an ex-Catholic, that's exactly how I handle such inquiries.

As for what to do now, just live your life. In my opinion the main focus of young people should be in building a skilled trade or a career. It takes money to do anything you want to do in life, and the sooner you get started on that path, the better.

As for your spiritual life, it's completely up to you, and there's no rush. You can put it on the shelf indefinitely. You can go the agnostic or atheist route. You can visit other churches or other religions for as long as you like. Generally speaking, no one will pester you to join up unless and until you are ready. (That's a Mormon thing.) Or you can pursue spirituality in your own way, by reading books and/or spending lots of time in nature.

Welcome Holy Diver, I also didn't save up any money for my mission. I figured that if my Parents wanted me to go so badly, then they could pay for it. As for what I believe in now, I don't believe in a damn thing. Life is for living, not for preparing.

If people inquire if I am Mormon now, I tend to role my eyes and give a good, 'you have got to be kidding me' chuckle. As they start to get red cheeks (hopefully) I proudly say, "No". Seldom do I give an explanation. I just move the conversation on to something else unless they keep prodding. Then I ask them how much they really want to know. Usually they drop it but if not, I can easily start bringing up all the lies and misdeeds that the cult engages in currently and in the past. If they bear their testimonkey, I laugh and roll my eyes even more.

"hey, you LDS?"

No, I'm not into perverts and control freaks.