Posted by:
Breeze
(
)
Date: July 25, 2017 05:17PM
I hear you!
You are not making this up, BTW. I found the atmosphere in Utah to be negative and soul-crushing, even when I was an active TBM. So did my children. I have childhood friends who moved here to SLC, and they agree. We have each other, though, and all it takes are a few good friends--even one or two. The average woman has 3-4 real friends. The average man has 2-3. The Mormon cult blows-up the importance of popularity, because being an out-going, friendly recruiter is a valuable asset to the cult. The individual Mormons give the appearance of being more popular than they are, as part of their hype. The truth is, many Mormons, as well as Mormons in Utah feel the negative effects of snobbery, elitism, prejudice, sexism, racism, and homophobia. It's a Mormon thing AND a Utah thing.
Do you live in Provo? Are you young? Are you single? Married? Do you have children? Do you have close family where you are? I hesitate to give advice, because I don't know enough about you. If you are single, and would like to find a partner and get married--get the hell out! Even if you don't end up married, your single life will be a lot more fulfilling and interesting, elsewhere!
I like Cheryl's advice, for you to take, in the meantime, while you are still in Utah, making plans to move, looking for jobs, etc.
I wanted to leave, because the Mormons abused my children (long stories), they harassed, stalked, trespassed, and maligned us. We resigned, and that stopped 80% of the bullying. Now, they shun us. In my same neighborhood, not one Mormon former friend has a relationship with me--even my former VT across the street or the former bishop's wife next door--after 20 years of our living here. The Mormon neighbors think of me as an evil apostate, and they wish for bad things to happen to me, because that would prove their church is true--predicting "outer darkness" for me and my children. We have succeeded in life, health, prosperity, and happiness, and we can tell that they are jealous and angry at us, when and if they acknowledge us.
Anyway--for me, this was a SICK environment! At the local stores, neighborhood and community functions, the kids sports games--people would scowl at me, or look the other way, like I wasn't there. No, this is not imagined--I have had people with me, and they have commented on this behavior. Emotionally, I was not thriving. Loneliness set in, and self-pity. I did like my job, and was years away from retirement.
Instead of uprooting myself and my children, I decided to change my surroundings--in a concentrated effort.
First of all, I stopped going to the places where I might run into my snarky neighbors. I went to the health food grocery store, (and changed my eating habits) and the farmer's market and produce stands. I went to Costco at night. Instead of walking the dog around the block, I put her in the car and drove part-way up the canyon, and walked from there--more scenic. I spent as much time in Park City as possible.
In the meantime, our SLC neighborhood was becoming more and more non-Mormon. The old fanatics moved to St. George or to condos in Draper. My children married people from our neighborhood, and bought houses nearby. The schools my children attended, and my grandchildren will attend, have become less conservative, and more diverse, and quite crowded. I never volunteered in the Utah schools, and I never have to talk to anyone there.
As for your job, that can be your worse problem. I had a temporary job working with Mormons in a Mormon state government office, for a few months, and they were the worst months of my life! Gossip! Lying and scapegoating! Marital affairs. Someone-or-other always crying in the girls' bathroom. Constant turnover and re-training of new unhappy employees. One of my sons has his own company, online, and has non-Mormons for employees. Their clients are all out-of-state. Another son works for a National company, with regulated hiring and business practices, and he's happy with that. Another son travels quite a bit. I'm the senior person in my office, and I don't hire Mormons. We have a "no politics; no religion" policy in the office. We aren't in competition with each other. We are all on the same side. We truly help others, every day.
If you want to help others, in Utah, you can volunteer with non-Mormon groups, such as the League of Women Voters, local abused women's and children's shelters, the Jewish Community Centers, the coalition of Christian churches, food banks, Red Cross, etc. For some reason, Mormons avoid environmental groups and animal rescue causes--I don't know why--and the nicest people in the world volunteer for those.
If you can't change where you live, change where you hang out. Change what you think about, change the people you meet.
I like the lunchroom suggestion. At that awful government hiatus, I would put on headphones, and eat at my desk, or drive to a nearby park. There's nothing wrong with smiling nicely, and saying, "No politics or religion at work, please," if the Mormons corner you.
Take charge of your own life, and the Mormons won't be in control, anymore.
Prescription for SAD--this works!
1200 units vitamin D3 daily
30 minutes, 12-19 inches away from a light box (not expensive) every morning, while you eat breakfast.
Also, a high protein breakfast is recommended, no sugar.
Actually, Utah has more sunshine--even in Northern Utah--than most states. Pacific Northwest has too much fog and overcast, IMO. Also, Sundays in Utah, have less-crowded malls, parks, recreational and ski areas, because the Mormons all stay home to torture themselves with church stuff. The state is yours!
Enjoy the present moment.