Inspired by another post, I thought it might be fun to list and list some more reasonns that the Mormon CK sounds more like hell than heaven and needs to be avoided........

1. Some of my relatives "know beyond a shadow of a doubt" that they will be there.

2. I've seen and heard enuf of the patriarchy here in Zion to know that where they are, I ain't.

3. Being in charge of worlds upon end makes me tired just thinking about it. Too much "She is your favorite, always," and "I want more sunshine, but the temperature should stay around 78 degrees and Gawd just nix those hurricanes in Florida."

4. Babies, babies, and more babies. Late nite feedings, colic, smelly diapers, crying and more crying. Not to forget the 9 longs months of bringing them into the world and the grand final pains that hurt like hell.

5. Having to continually be spiritually in tune with whatever the Heavens' say and preach and teach and teach and preach some more.

6. I just know I would get damn tired of hearing those Angels be so happy and singing all the time and that I would handle it by some good-ole heavenly swearing-----whatever that looks like. Then I would end up in that hot old fiery furnace where I would be free to cuss all I want and roast hot dogs and smores and listen to -----oh HELL NO, it's ole sleazy Joey going on and on and on with his fireside stories. Maybe the Angles are vunderbar!

Sounds.like a neverending sacrament meeting

If it existed, it would be full of Mormons. Best to keep them penned in there. Alas, the CK is as real as the buried treasure that kept slipping away from the tip of Joe's shovel.

boorish sanctimonious ASS...postHOLE Bruce McConkie is supposed to be there

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TNO2aPLaP2o

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qn7boTBtn3w

AAHHH NOOOO! That's right, there would also be all of those A-HOLE General Authorities and the big 12 and the 'profits' and the like. YIKES!!

I am SO glad I never got the secret passwords to enter or a husband to pull me through that damned veil!

Funny thing, even as a TBM, I had a twinge of wondering how it could be that the CK was undemocratic.

I was intrigued and a little cog-dis'd by the Book of Mormon straight up saying it would be good to have kings if you could always have a good king. Huh? So all this democracy stuff in the temporal estate is just a second-best system? The "true" system is an eternally ruling king? No petitioning for reform?

Oh, no reform needed because it's a "perfect" system. If you don't agree it's perfect, you're not there to begin with.

I remember when the mishies showed me the painting of Jesus floating around in a long white gown with a rosy-colored sash. I thought, "You'd forever be worried about tripping over that long gown or getting it dirty. That doesn't sound like any kind of Heaven to me."

Don't worry, nobody will ever go to any such place, since it doesn't exist.
Along with all the other imagined "heavens."

:)

As a female I have to forever be a female (I am assuming that Mormons don't believe in souls being genderless or able to change from one to another), so in the CK I'd basically be a servant to some god-man forever and be one of his millions of eternal wives forever bearing children and serving them as well.

Mormons believe Eve sinned and so is to obey men and god forever and be forever beneath them because of the one 'mistake' (which god actually needed her to make, so she was also obeying another commandment by breaking one.. she was damned if she did and damned if she didn't from the get go).. So all women forever must pay this price, they can never advance beyond servitude.

And if Mormon angels are always singing and trumpet playing you know it's going to be the worst music ever (hymns forever?? Please oh please send me to hell!!! At least in hell you know the music will be awesome since all of the best musicians are going there!)

It seems possible that in the CK one would have to wear those awful temple clothes with the funny hats, veils and green aprons. And the garmies underneath. Ugh.

So here's my list version-

1- It will be full of Mormons (the most devout fanatical ones!)

2- It will be full of angels singing terrible hymns and trumpeting.

3- Polygamy will be practiced and how!

4- As a female one will be forever a servant to arrogant men who have become gods. And females have to to all of their new gods bidding and endure it with a smile (plus heavenly father god's bidding)

5- Endless procreation, so again not so great for a woman, endless pregnancy and childbirth (nobody said you won't feel pain, and even if heavenly births are easier, this is still not an appealing picture).

6- Wearing ridiculous temple clothes and garments forever

7- Performing temple 'ordinances' and doing temple work forever (endless chanting, anointing, secret handshakes and oaths, and endless baptisms) Is there anything about temple work that is actually pleasant and fun?

8- Endless ever increasing responsibility (esp. if you are a male and become a god).

9- Is there anything actually pleasant or appealing sounding about the CK? Oh right we'll get to be with our families (just the goodie two shoes self righteous Mormon ones) forever. Which means I am stuck with my abusive father and sadistic sociopath brother forever, oh JOY upon JOY!!

NO THANK YOU!!!

I couldn't ever wrap my head around the "fact" that in the CK, I would continually have a beloved son be tortured and killed on each planet that hubby creates, not to mention the polygamy and that those wives would probably have sons to sacrifice on other planets as well! Plenty of tears, jealousy, sacrificing, and sorrow to go around for all. Not my definition of heaven.

That's right, that's a really good point as well! WTF??!

presleynfactsrock Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------

> 6. I just know I would get damn tired of hearing
> those Angels be so happy and singing all the time
> and that I would handle it by some good-ole
> heavenly swearing-----whatever that looks like.
> Then I would end up in that hot old fiery furnace
> where I would be free to cuss all I want and roast
> hot dogs and smores and listen to -----oh HELL NO,
> it's ole sleazy Joey going on and on and on with
> his fireside stories. Maybe the Angles are
> vunderbar!


I'd probably tell those angels to shut the fuck up and then throw a Book of Mormon at them.

It's full of the most dedicated TBMs