No, but there will be a horizontal stack of twelve apostles emitting the fumes of formaldehyde and waving white handkerchiefs shortly after a new choice is pecked.
If I could find a magic lamp and rub it the right way, I would wish for Boyd the Packer to come back and take the helm. He would surely give the world some fodder to ponder. But, that ain't gonna happen so next I would like to see Jeffery the Jowels Holland take over. With Jeff in charge, you would see some serious fist pounding doctrine come forth. He would spray the first three rows of devotees with spittle as he roared out his authority, he might even blow a vein or two. With Eyring taking over, you will see a lot of crying and as the TBM crowd tries to mimicked him, Kleenex sales will soar.
Unlike the College of Cardinals which (politics notwithstanding) actually has to pick someone to be Pope, the Mormon way to pick a successor is strictly by seniority. Nelson was ordained next after Monson, and Oaks next after Nelson. So there you have it.
Critics point out the seeming lack of inspiration in such a cold process, but the faithful argue that God chose them all in that order anyway. (Nobody really knows why God chooses men who are likely to be slowly slipping through their own arseholes by the time they get there.)
There will not be any white smoke, but there will be lots of gas in the room when it happens.
According to the articles of incorporation of CCOPLDS upon the death of the current president/CEO the senior apostle automatically becomes the president and sole owner of the whole shebang!
The poor old guy was tottering up some stairs after giving a talk at one of the conferences. It was painfully obvious that he was not doing well. His voice had been thin and painfully old.
Some complete @$$hole was doing a voice-over, and said something like, "Watch the Prophet's firm stride, and the fire in his gaze as he leaves the podium following his inspiring talk!"
I remember wondering, "Are you TRYING to make fun of him??" Then I remembered that Mormons are not really capable of much humor, and it seemed that much more pathetic.
luckylucas Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > IMO, Russell Nelson will be the next "Howard W > Hunter", one general conference and then Oaks will > become prophet
I am friends with a certain super devoted TBM. His TBM brother was one of HH's personal nurses / medical attendants exclusively assigned to HH to give round the clock care to the aged MORmON CCO in HH's twilight /waning years days. He told me to my face about how HH was completely incoherent for months while then MORmON PRofit ETB was also dwindling away and that HH somehow "miraculously" regained coherency just in time to inherit and assume the role of LDS Inc PRofit/ CCO leader as ETB finally passed away. That was related to me as a faith promoting tale, with the intention of affirming faith and authority of how LDS inc is operated by Jesus. I see things in a much more conventional way ie HH just happened to regain some semblance of coherency right before he finally died. The fact that HH was also made LDS inc Chief Corporate Officer and Sole holder of LDS inc at the time is purely incidental and hardly the intentional workings of any deity that supposedly ultimately runs LDS inc.
I'm going to anecdotally claim that 95% of Americans have no idea that the mainstream LDS church practices spiritual polygamy.
It wasn't ever mentioned in the musical, South Park, Big Love, Sister Wives, Under the Banner of Heaven, or any of the other sources that serve as the basis of the vast majority of Americans' understanding of Mormonism.
I forgot to issue a prayer request at the temple today for Jeff Holland to become profit, seer and revelatory AS SOON AS POSSIBLE! Aren't all of you anxious for that to happen?
Sadly, Doc Nelson is looking more and more like he'll become the first ever 100-year-old profit.
The bad ass will be chosen, god is going to throw a curveball at everybody including myself. i could dissolve a religion in record time i gaurantee that so if thats gods will i cant argue with it.
Al Gore Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Will there be a chimney that emits white smoke > like the vatican once a a new choice is picked?
The bible says Yahweh loves the smell of burning animal flesh. Not white smoke from paper/chemicals.
"Then take them from their hands and burn them on the altar along with the burnt offering for a pleasing aroma to the LORD, an offering made to the LORD by fire." (Exodus 29)
So to satisfy Yahweh, I'd suggest that they burn an apostle or two...except they're so vile that there's no way that would be a "pleasing aroma," even to the bloodthirsty Yahweh.
with the black or white smoke, and the traditional cry of "Habemus papam!" strikes me as much more dramatic.
I'm not Catholic, never have been, and don't plan to be, but I think that their sense of ceremony - and the knowledge that some of these ceremonies are centuries old, makes me regard a number of their traditions with a certain amount of appreciation.
Based on current ages and ordination dates, the going prediction is that Nelson may serve for a short time and then Oaks will likely be Prophet for several years.
Later on after we burn through a few more of the really old Q15, it is *very* likely that Bednar who was ordained very young will also be Prophet for several years. That should be fun to watch from the outside, but I pity anyone who is still TBM the day that Bednar takes the reins.
But who knows, maybe he'll actually do some good by driving out or waking up many of the more moderate members...