30 year LDS member. Recently out and hitting the dating scene. Well I talk about the dates and experiences. Co-worker says kindly "you seen sexually repressed the way you talk about these things. It's as if you are 17 again."

The comments were taken well and I realize people my age don't talk like a horny teenager. They naturally lived through those years and had experiences I never had because that was evil to LDS org. So instead of going through this phase at teen to early 20's ....I am living it out in my 40's. I waited and waited for a wife in the LDS church. Little to no dating experience that got past 1st base. Now I am going all the way and no wonder I talk like a horny teenager in my 40's. I blame the LDS church for the sexual repression for 30 years of my life that lead to a hyper sexual state.

is co-worker jealously teasing you about how excited you seem to be about enjoying yourself, or is there jealousy about the freedom you now have to explore life outwith the confines of the church? Alternatively, co-worker could be flirting, or perhaps just trying to share in your happiness.

Just remember to use protection and be sensible and you should have no regrets. You do not want an std or a baby to complicate matters whether you are forty or twenty.

Mebbe so, but don't ignore that other 40ish itch. Both men and women can catch it, and it can cause one to feel and act 20 - 25 again.

Of course everything is safe. I am truly happy and excited about this phase of my life that LDS Inc forbade. I should of experienced this in my teens like normal people do. I grew up with pres. Kimble's book in the house that said oral sex was evil and wrong. Grew up brainwashed to so many things. I was indoctrinated to be so judgemental, something I am so glad to get rid of. I was taught cult tactics like shun the disbelievers and to view my fellow Mormons as the chosen ones.

I am so free now that I am out of that. I am less fake and can be myself now. LDS Inc messes people up but there is always hope to change. I am learning that people with darker skin then me aren't actually cursed after all.

It's very likely to lead to trouble on several fronts.

Your co-worker had no right to say such a thing. I'm wondering why the conversation veered to such an unprofessional extreme.

I'm not disagreeing that cow-orker should not have said what was reported to have been said, but perhaps Stan C also ought to consider what he's saying about the dates to cow-orker and consider if it's TMI (too much information).

Not all repression is bad. I hope you don't feel the need to do everything the church was against - tattoos, drinking, drugs, smoking, etc.

Can't necessarily blame it on the church, since non-members also go wild as we saw recently.

My daughter and SIL live next door to us. SIL's mom left his 50 year old dad a year ago. A few weeks ago, his dad flew in with his new girlfriend, a former stripper, to see his/our grandson. Spent 10 minutes with the grandson, then took off to nearby city. Son later met them down there at a bar. Dad's girlfriend was offering him cocaine.

Next morning dad stops by and laughs about his girlfriend getting a DUI the night before. Takes off after 5 minutes and tells SIL to "take care of the baby". End of visit.

Anyway, SIL not too thrilled with dad.

Free Man Wrote:
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> Not all repression is bad. I hope you don't
> feel the need to do everything the church was
> against - tattoos, drinking, drugs, smoking, etc.
>
>

My daughter has a beautiful full-back tattoo of nuts, bolts, gears, wheels, etc., drawn by my granddaughter. It's beautiful and nobody can see it unless she is in a swim suit or naked. My son has a couple of tattoos, also, that do not show underneath business clothing. My 76-year-old friend who is long-time Moody Blues fan has the Moody Blues logo tattooed on her ankle. I know many people who enjoy a glass of wine with dinner or a beer on a Sunday afternoon while watching football. So if the original poster wants to do some of those things, what is the problem with it? Wondering why you would "hope he doesn't feel the need to do any of those things." I personally hope he doesn't feel the need to take up smoking (because I have COPD and lung cancer, plus it stinks and makes your clothes stink), but as for the rest of it--hey, he is now a free man, and apparently happy to be one. I hope all his friends are not so judgmental. And as for what they talk about at work--that really does all depend on where you work. I have worked places where if someone mentioned they were going to the restroom, people would practically faint at "TMI!" and at other places where you could come in and give a blow-by-blow (pardon the pun) description of your latest blind date, and everyone (including the boss) would be rolling on the floor laughing and urging you to tell more. Just saying :)

I can understand what "Free Man's" words were meant to convey. When someone leaves a very restricting environment sometimes the tendency is to let the pendulum swing 180 degrees in the opposite direction, which also is not good.

Moderation in all things is better. And remember the General Authorities spoke against "Moderation," demanding that we be fanatical.

It's sometimes tough for those who leave dictatorship to go directly to the middle ground.

I think that's all "Free Man" was referring to.

My DH uses the term "mormon whiplash" about those who leave mormonism and do everything contrary to it even when what they do makes little sense and is highly destructive.

I suggest that those who leave the morg need to sit back for at least six months or a year and make no huge life changing decisions until they've had a change to mull over how they think and feel. We don't leave a cult and immediately find our authentic self until we've taken some time and effort to recover.

Some of things mormons do may suit us and we need to consider that we don't have to spend wildly just because mormons tend to be overly frugal. We don't have to smoke or drink like fishes because mormons only drink milk and fruit juice. We don't have to join another cult because that's what we've been used to. Nor do we have to look to others for advice. We can be our own best advocate. And there's no need to discuss sexual practices in the workplace. Get a counselor or figure it out by using using your brain and through reading and talking to those involved.

I love that term "Mormon Whiplash." Excellent!

"Mormon whiplash" is a great way to describe leaving the cult. In a way, it's not as extreme for converts, since most generally return to the way things were before being sucked into the cult. For me, it meant I actually lost weight because I wasn't drinking as much soda and fruit juice as I did while Mormon as I replaced those with water, tea, and coffee.

Im kind of in the same situation but in my thirties i have no dating skills but i am more comfortable around woman than i used to be but they have to be non-lds that is a must.

Yes, absolutely they must be non-LDS.

I've been going through the same thing trying to learn how to date. I was married for a long, long time. Things have really changed in the dating world.

I have no desire to smoke. I do drink about once a month which makes me an alcoholic in Mormon eyes. How arrogant are these people, Jesus drank, but Mormons know more than him and are better then him so they don't drink. It's not the details I shared it's the enthusiasm that seemed like how a horny teenager would talk. As Mormons we don't get past that phase well we never start it until married or never if not.

Rebellion does NOT have to be a bad thing!

My kids are not "goody-goody", but they are very athletic , and they have always naturally loved learning. They had to work after school, and on weekends and holidays, as I was a single divorced mother, who had to struggle for a few years. They are also hilariously funny!

Their rebellion against the Mormons and their Mormon peers in the neighborhood, took the opposite turn. In reality, Mormonism is a scummy, lying cult, founded by a crook. My children rose above it. They wouldn't tolerate the rude gossip and lies, the cheating in school, the boys grabbing the girls in the halls, (my daughters punched and kicked a few Mormon pervs) the Mormon sexism, racism and homophobia. My kids stood up for the underdogs, and the Mormon kids snubbed them for it. As a result, my kids ended up with BETTER friends. Half the kids in the schools were non-Mormon.

Most of the Mormon kids drank until they puked (that's not a fun party), and they came to church with hangovers. In Sunday school class, they would brag about their sexual exploits. Some of them got into taking drugs (they were rich kids, and could afford drugs) and selling drugs to younger kids. The worst "pushers" were the Bishop's kids, and, for too long, no one said or did anything about it. The previous bishop's daughter came to school with a loaded gun, and threatened suicide, and the authorities didn't even suspend her. The same girl came over to our house, threatening suicide, and had been to other houses, before ours. I immediately lured her into my car and drove her to the ER. She spend 2 weeks in their phych ward, and got help. Her parents would not allow her to come to my daughters' slumber parties, when she was younger, because we "did not have the priesthood in the home." No, and we don't have guns and ammo lying around, either. The stake presidents snotty son got a TBM neighbor girl pregnant, right before his mission. His mission was postponed a few months, the girl was sent off to Idaho to have her baby and adopt it away, through LDS Social Services, and life went on. There were way too many unwanted pregnancies, for one high school.

My kids were hurt, sometimes, by the snobbery, but for the most part, they were respected and loved by their good friends. One son's friends became his business partners. A lot of my other son's friends joined the same fraternity at the U of Utah, and they still have parties, go to Lake Powell, go to Yellowstone, together, with their wives and kids. My daughters married young men in the neighborhood--who have good character and solid values. (Tattoos and wine with dinner, and belonging to other religions are not crimes.) After all the nonsense, my kids actually feel bad for the Mormon kids they grew up with. Many of those kids were beaten by their TBM parents.

Adoylelb's improved health is a good example of "Mormon whiplash" in a positive direction. I did this, too. I got rid of those old Mormon pioneer recipes that included lard, butter, sugar, and jell-o. Trashed the garments in the garbage, and dressed my healthier body in cuter clothes.

Exercise, to me, is a rebellion. Sports, for my kids, took up a lot of their time and energy, and their team mates became some of their best friends. Skiing and mountain biking on Sundays!

The Mormon teachings are so negative, that getting rid of the fables and threats, can brighten up your life, a great deal. Positive thinking was my biggest "rebellion."

Loving others--an in-your-face rebellion against Mormonism!

Donating and volunteering to real charities!

Loud laughter! My children were over here yesterday, with the grandchildren, and my sides hurt from laughing!

Success! "Living well is the best revenge."