As women who have left the Mormon Church, do you find that the men who have also left still want to be controlling of women's lives? Do you feel like they still have major entitlement issues?

I've only been reading here a few weeks but I'm astounded at how much the patriarchal Mormon mindset still lingers with the men.

I know im not supposed to respond but i agree with you, the first time i posted on here was absolutely brutal every male battled me except a couple like BYU Boner. I felt like i was still fighting authority figures in the church which is the main reason i got the hell out. I have had serious men issues since i was young because i almost got choked to death by a scout leader at 14 years old, Almost every therapist i see is a woman because i know i wont make progress with a man. I know i might get serious flack for this from the men but oh well i can take it.

I don't know who you are referring to here (I can think of maybe 2 or 3) but there are plenty of men here supportive of women's equality.

Women have a long way to go. Mormons didn't invent the patriarchal mindset but they are doing their best to maintain it.

In fairness, I would say that Mormons are kind of insignificant in numbers when you look at Catholics with their male priesthood and many Christians and other religions who are all about controlling women's reproductive choices.

I'm not sure. I was the only Mormon in my family, so I don't know anyone else, in person, who has left the Church.

I think it's reflective of the population at large. All types, all flavors.

If anything, most men on this board are more sensitive to equality. Generally well educated, and sick to death of mental cuffs on anyone, they will be equally easy or hard on a poster, regardless of sex. BS is generally not tolerated. I would say they are as quick to swarm onto idiots as they are to support the wounded.

Some people on here (and you know who you are) can be like salve to the soul. I don't know their "secret," but they ought to bottle and sell it.

I can be having a really bad day, and they are here, all somewhere on the sexual spectrum, making sense and battling ignorance. If a poster has an authentic post, it will receive authentic responses.

I think you might be sensing the command of oneself gained when mentally and emotionally emancipated. I find it attractive in any sex.

That's my opinion, and this *person* is sticking with it.

I dont know if it is an ex Mormon thing but there ARE some men here who like to dominate everyone. They are a minority but they do exist.It may just be a male or human thing.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 09/04/2017 09:47PM by bona dea.

My husband was not one to be controlling of anything. He was adamant about his beliefs, but he did not interfere in my choices. He was supportive of anything I did in the church, jobs, etc.
Men and women come in a lot of different varieties. Not all LDS men are controlling of their wives, women, etc. I did meet some that were and was appalled.

From the get-go, I was the primary bread-winner in my family. I was nearly two decades into a solid Government job when we met, and no way was I going to stop short of a 30-year career and a solid retirement.

There was no issue of further progeny. I had already had a tubal ligation after my son was born. When DH and I were asked what were our intentions with regard to birth control prior to marriage, I was offended by the question and said, "Don't worry, that is not an issue." The bishop was a little put off by that, but he had enough sense not to push it.

I had been married to an abuser before and had my radar up. I was not about to put up with any patriarchal BS and my sweet DH understood that. He is a wonderful spouse.

I don't think the group of males are very prominent that the OP is describing. The exmo_many males I know are very aware of their surroundings and the empathy for others. Females, LGBTQ+, immigrants and any other group fighting for a voice. Yes, a few bad apples exist and oppose any societal reform. They don't matter because the majority will push for progress.

Appears a product of culture or inner exploration to me or even negotiation between shoulda ought to you can't make me ,
Where local cultural customs and constraints taint skills talent even genetic phenotypic expression of deeper human inner needs to express, interact with their physical and emotional environment.

This contradiction between the individual s experience where talent and strength may be received with bias and sorted by social customs instead of serving the community only by receiving each individuals greatest strength and supporting them finding and developing these authentic strength based skills to better serve themselves & community with... this profitting us all.

Gender differences about who is in charge or who tells who what to do is like a game of dominoes , we keep stumbling and tumbling into i choreographed steoreotypic roles until we question those stereotypes (which until then maybe were printed on us like dots on a dominoes.)

But that said maybe the authentic fact found when looking inward individually is, for some they are a leader type of individual, male or female... that would explain the expression of wanting to lead or analyze things and get things done effectively -- they are leaders here.

And many may be male or female. It doesn't really matter. Being on the exmo board where some males may express themselves in a leading way or confidant argument over logic or life doesn't mean that individual is still Mormon, they may in fact be a confidant logical questioning male tryouts by to answer questions utilizing this forum.

This forum itself might be a variable or statistical artifact calling all leaders both male and female over their own lives, religion, why even leaders over their own minds.

That might make some of them seem traditional but what you have to
Understand us, the typical Mormon make us actually a mouse with a little mind anxiously following rules doing what he is good when to do or not do anything micromanaged like a little mousy man into his mangy Mormon underwear that he wears like they told him

I think I'll retype that last paragraph.

"Being in the l d s church which appears traditional is indeed a paradox and a contradiction because active Mormon males are neither leaders nor inherently strong minded. They may seem traditional, but what you need to know , what you have to understand is: the typical Mormon male is actually a mouse if a man with a very tiny space for his own thoughts, Mormon men are mice like followers all the alpha males are weeded out
With correlation curriculum commandments bishops interviews primary tales and stories culminating in a cookie cutter culture anti male initiative anti individuality anti male leader reality.
Where in each make who remains humbled himself to an all knowing reference binders rules on everything he says everything he is allowed and everything he wears and, even when anything he dies is permissible. The Mormon male moused into mental and fiscal submission much like a mouse on a sticky trap that is caught in the kitchen. The Mormon male is actually a mouse with no more authority to think use logic or make actual choices than the mouse stuck in a sticky trap glued stuck as unable to lead others or even lead himself with forbidden lists of topics even to think stuck the gears of logic in his mind as the mouse on a sticky traps fur sticking to the glue trap he's standing on.

Leaving an active l d s life inherently means striking out from the stuck mousetrap Mormon males are raised within an inherent environment of tangled rules. Questioning attempting logic may raise the mouse, out of the maze.

Male, female, gender fluid...sometimes we're grouchy, and we quarrel. Sometimes we're cool, and we get along. Sometimes the board goes batshit. Duck and cover.

I've been here off and on for about a decade, and I don't recall a whole lotta penishood ish being pulled (heh), and when it has occurred, I've often seen dudes call each other out.

If some dude has patronized me, I've been blissfully unaware. But willful ignorance might be coded on my second X chromosome.