Hello all! I am a 14 year old girl and I can't stand the Mormon church. Just thinking about it makes me want to remove my head. I really need help. I have discovered the truth behind this church, which made my depression come back. I will not ever tell my parents because as a child, I could be throwing up cats and dogs. Unfortunately, it was a 'Holy Sunday', so I was dragged to church for three hours, just to listen to broken records. Everytime I subtly bring up something implying that I'm annoyed with the church, I am yelled at and told that is is the "true church" True church my a**! I hate church so much. I cannot live like this anymore, not to mention Seminary. Losing more sleep than possibly healthy just to study fiction works. The one thing that tips this stupid church over the edge, is tithing. I help tutor kids in piano and violin, and I make $50-100 a month. Not bad at all. Instead of using that hard earned money on something I want, college, or savings, a good chunk of it ends up paying for a shopping mall. Please help, I CANNOT go on. I CAN'T live through 4 more years of this. I haven't even made it two months and I already want to die.

We are not trained therapists here. If you are truly suicidal please seek professional help.

The suicide hotline is available above if you need help right now. Call and speak to someone who can provide immediate assistance and help you find resources available where you live.

Well i am trying to think what to say, reading your words is giving me flashbacks but i think you are braver at your age than i was. I really think it should be illegal for anyone under the age of 18 to be in a church with what i have experienced growing up, it messes with the mind at a vulnerable age. I would have probably been more normal had i been raised an athiest because my athiest friends are living great lives while i have to go to counseling. I am not sure what you can do really i didnt voice my true opinion until i was a little older. But you are right about one thing something is definitely wrong with the church and if i can see it i know god can if there is a god. I kind of wonder what would have happened if i went to social services when i was young and got me the heck away from my parents and religion because i still have major issues with my parents and religion to this day and i am 34 now for gods sakes. So be happy that you recognized everything early and not wind up as an adult that has to go to counseling every week.

Since you are 14 and dependent on your parents, you may have to suck it up and go until you are on your own. You arent the only person to have to deal with this sort of thing and four year isnt that long. Maybe talking with your parents would help and maybe not.If you do, be tactful and think about how to approach the issue without making it worse. Is it possible you could make some sort of compromise with them? If not, think of ways to make the meetings more bearable.Take a book,an Ipod, play games on your phone etc.If you are really being abused or are depressed or suicidal, talk to someone, a school counselor for instance, and get some help.I am sympathetic, but you are a kid and your parents do have the right to make you go to church if they see fit. That is just the way it is. Good luck.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 09/15/2017 10:23PM by bona dea.

No advice from me. I went through it at fourteen myself. You have my sympathy.

You are over-dramatizing the situation. You don't have to go through ALL FOUR YEARS all at once. You live one day at a time, and you can make the best day of it that circumstances make possible.

Here's a thought - you have ONLY four years to ace every class you can, so that you can go to the school of your choice - scholarship offers. Or, you can go to BYU and deal with their honor code police. If you're really a 14 year old girl, which I somewhat doubt at this moment (I could be wrong), and you are able to write that post, you have absolutely zero excuse for not getting into whatever school you want.

So instead of focusing on what you CAN'T do, focus on what you CAN do, to design a life of your dreams. Find out what you need to do to qualify for scholarships, and DO IT. You're parents aren't going to do for you, nor your bff, not even your teachers. All of those people can HELP, but you have to be the one to CHOOSE to do it, then discipline yourself to follow through. Ask your guidance counselor(s) for guidance. Don't give up and GO FOR what you want in life.

I kind of doubted the age as well unless i am just an idiot and 14 year olds are getting smarter these days which could be true.

You know what mormons didn't couldn't - take from you, badass?

Your good heart.

I don't think they could have pulled it out of you with a tank.

Hang in there. You're one of the strong ones.

Hopefully i have my good heart still otherwise i dont have anything left. They almost took it though almost. Now i just have to heal my body and mind totally. But thank you beautiful life.

Some fourteen years olds are perfectly capable of coherent writing. Others are not, but this could well have been written by someone that age. I spent 30 years teaching 14 and 15 year olds and they vary a lot.

Well she writes better than i do but english was always my worst subject in school so its hard to gauge.

It depends on the kid. Girls at that age tend to write better than boys too.

I have just never seen a 14 year old on here before either so thats kind of odd and a little suspicious. I have only been on the site for like six months off and on so i dont really know what you guys see.

You could be right, but I think it is better to assume people are telling the truth until you have a real reason to doubt them. Any of us could be lying at any time, but if we are really hurting and telling the truth we would like to be believed.There is no surenway to know who is on the level and who is playing games.At any rate, the writing doesnt bother me. I have seen twelve year olds who write that well and adults who are barely literate.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 09/16/2017 01:22AM by bona dea.

I never know who is playing games, i thought honest TBM was being truthful about everything when i first came on this site. I thought that he or she totally was the person they were pretending to be.

I've taught twelve year olds who can write that well.

I didn't assume, just voiced my scepticism. It wasn't so much the language as it was the concepts. Language can be taught at very early ages, but concepts are tougher.

Either way, I tried to give realistic input.

It is hard to tell. There was a woman here a few years ago named Stormy who claimed to be a Catholic who had divorced her Mormon husband who had later converted for her. They were planning on remarrying, but his mother and sister were giving her real problems. We gave advice and sympathy.Soon the husband started posting and then the Mormon sister in law who had suddenly decided she was through with the church showed up too. The three of them posted a lot and developed a following. Finally someone noticed they shared the same IP address. The couple might use the same computer, but the SIL supposedly lived in amother state. Busted. Lol. A lot of people fell for that one. Some posters even helped her choose bridesmaid.dresses. You never know

Jesus christ

I remember being 14. When you are that age, pretty much everything is annoying. I totally get being annoyed by church. Just try to tough it out. Perhaps you can sit in the back and study your school subjects during seminary? Can you possibly cut back on the tithing? Your day will come. Four years is not that long. Save as much money as you possibly can. One day it will help buy your freedom.

you are 14, Please be happy you your time in Mormonism is coming to an end. 14 is a good thing make it work for you. Just imagine all the mormonless future you have a head. for now stay with us on this forum. You will have to fake it.

Try to thing of as many moron things you can eliminate from your life right now. at 14 you don't have much control. You won't be able to skip church, but think of other things.

Let your parents know how some point of mormonism makes you feel bad.

When I was a kid. I let my mom know that I was not going to get married and that she better get used to the idea. Every week I would get hounded about getting married and it made me so depressed and anxiety reddened. The Mormons were telling me it was the only way to happiness. I'm female, autistic and possibly gay. Of course Mormonism is substandard for me.

Therapy won't hurt. You need a real person to talk to. Remember a NON LDS therapist is the only way, Even better, a exmormon therapist. You will need to google and research therapist bios to find one. Good Luck

A word of encouragement: You've figured out a very big--if difficult--truth at a young age, and are resolved to accept and apply it. That didn't happen to lots of us until we were decades older!

Of course, as adults, we had more maturity, experience, life skills, and other resources to cope with a very serious situation that involves philosophy, spirituality, personal psychology, family relationships, and lots, lots more. Just understand that this can be difficult for everybody whether they're 54, 34, 23, or 14.

Hang in there--sooner or later you'll be fine, probably sooner than you think! (Remember this when things seem especially difficult, confusing, and painful.)

I bet she's almost 15!

ROFL That DOES make a difference in Mormonism!

They did marry at that age in the 1800s according to mormons. Yep im sure they did according to JS.

If U can't stand Mormonism (MANY PEOPLE CAN'T!),

1. talk with your parents

2. If no progress, ask if a not-so-mormon family member can be a foster parent.

3. If that's not an option, call child protection people & explain your situation: After All, Mormonism is a repressive, manipulative organization, No One should FORCE U TO GO! I suggest u go to the child protective office alone at first, so u can tell your TRUTH...

Best Wishes from all here!

I know you want to run away from the church and not look back. Unfortunately, you're going to have to understand the pathology inside and out because it's going to hurt everyone you ever loved and it's going to hurt them real bad. You might as well take advantage of the situation. Keep your friends close and your enemies closer.

So you tutor violin?
Suzuki?

I remember fourteen - I hated it with a passion. If you are stuck, why not try to lighten up your time by inventing some sort of 'buzzword bingo' or something similar to play at church? If someone has a particular saying they use far too much and your family has a sense of humour, you may get them to join in as long as it does not seem 'disrespectful' to them. Maybe best just to get kids your own age to join in with you or keep it to yourself.

Life does not have to feel like hell-on-earth every minute of the day. If you find it difficult to get away time from your home, leave for everything a little earlier and hang out before class - I did this when I was grounded: my parents thought I was knuckling down at school when I was really going to my mate's house for a while before school to gossip and listen to music - our seminary was in the evening so that gave a little leeway for escape for a while before and after.

There are many things you can do to survive til you are old enough to leave home. Overall, the best thing you can do is not antagonise your parents or else they will begin to view and describe you to others as 'difficult'. If you are the eldest you run the risk of your parents seeing you as a threat to your younger siblings' fake testimonies and separating you from your siblings. When my elder brother became 'difficult' we younger ones were told to 'stay out of it' as he was 'just deliberately causing trouble'. Nice way to split families.

Please remember - your parents are brainwashed and think they love you; their intentions are misguided but they think they are doing the right thing by you. Don't hate them and don't let the church come between you - difficult, I know, I'm in my forties and still not figured it out.

Good luck and take the advice of the poster who suggests throwing yourself into getting good grades for college so you can leave home with your parents' support.

Being a teen can be tough but you can do it, we did and we are all no better than you.

Hey there! You're not the only teenager who comes here for help. I'm 16 and I've posted stuff here about being stuck in the church. I'm in the same boat, figured out it was BS when I was 14, not telling my parents because it would cause problems, having to go to church every week, paying tithing on money. If your parents would flip out if they knew you didn't believe, you're best to not tell them. If you live in a very mormon area, you probably have a friend or two who secretly doesn't believe. If you figure out who that is, you can lean on each other for help. Seminary really sucks, I don't know what you could do about that. If you're into music, have you heard of Tyler Glenn? He wrote an entire album about his excommunication and journey leaving the church, and it's really good. It's gotten me through some rough patches before. Hang in there! You're not alone. It'll be so worth it if you make it through the next few years.

And to people doubting the OP is a 14 year old, it's very possible. The writing level is normal, and most teenagers have free internet access, which means we can easily find out the truth about anything. The final thing that got me to see through is a post someone I follow on a social media site made telling about how they left the church. We have more resources and connections than teenagers in the past

One of the Sticky Posts on the main page is the Suicide Hotline:
Suicide Hotline Info 1-800-273-TALK (8255)

Good luck

IMO as you are only 14, I guess you must be quite impaciente (as I was 9 years ago). My advice is don't let your feelings control your actions.
See these 4 years as an opportunity to know yourself better. The better you know who you are and what you want to do in life, the easier you will take good decisions in the future.
And finally I would like to say that you must search things to do, things who will allow you to enjoy life and have a life outside mormonism.

Good Luck.

Lucas

I have a 14 year old granddaughter and I am astounded that you would take the chance and assume she is not telling the truth. I don't think it's a good idea to do that for any reason. How about just not saying anything until and unless you have more information.

Helpmeplease, be very very grateful that you have it figured out already. Many of us got married and brainwashed our own kids before we finally realized we had ruined them. LOL

You are leaps and bounds ahead of us.

If your parents are hardcore and strict mormon, I don't see any other course of action except to play along the best you can while you're actually making plans for your own life as soon as you can leave your parents' house. Like someone else said, make sure you do well in school so you can get scholarships and start your own life starting with choosing your own college.

I know it's hard to get up early for something you despise like Seminary. I understand your angst. Find comfort in knowing it only lasts till you're 18. Find comfort in doing everything you possibly can to be on the road to the life YOU want as soon as you're out of high school.