Posted by:
Amyjo
(
)
Date: September 21, 2017 10:26AM
The one the Mormon church stripped me of some four decades+ ago today.
The church who lied to us both, and deceived us.
The same church who went to great lengths to erase his birth family because that is how adoptions were practiced then and still are today.
The same church who brainwashed his adoptive parents that his medical history and birth family history does not matter, nor his ethnicity, or his natural heritage.
With the exception of one of his adoptive grandmothers who wanted us to meet, his adoptive mother has forbade him to have any contact with me, because she finds me threatening. She lives with the great deception that history doesn't matter.
They maligned my son since early childhood by confusing him as to his ethnicity. Instead of providing him with the factual information they had from LDSSS and his birth record, they lied to him and made him feel he was a mulatto. He was sent on a mission to Jamaica because he would identify with the native black people. He was never part negro. He is part Hispanic and Caucasian. He was raised as an inferior member of his family.
Made to feel like he had the mark of Cain. He became an indentured servant in his family instead of being able to pursue an education or career. He turned to drugs and alcohol after his mission, and became an atheist or agnostic. His adoptive mother and him were not speaking and hated each other when I found him twelve years ago.
And yet, she could not live with the idea of his and my meeting or to learn more of his origins. His grandmother told me if his adoptive mom knew even she was talking to me that she would be furious with her. She sent me notes and pictures on the sly so she wouldn't find out.
The social worker who helped me to find him told me most of her referrals came from Mormon birth families and adoptees because the Mormon church is the only adoption agency that literally erases any trace of the birth families.
He didn't know he was fully Jewish through me, his birth mother, when I found him. He does now. He didn't know his birth father was Hispanic before I found him. He does now. He didn't know his ancestors lived and walked with the Mormon founder, Joseph Smith, or their parents fought in the Revolutionary War and the War of 1812. He does now. He is a descendant of Pocahontas, and cousins of George Washington through both my maternal and paternal heritage. He knows now. One of his cousins is a Nobel prize winner in Physics. He is cousins to Olivia Newton-John, the singer. As many other notables through the Jewish side of his family tree. He was treated as an 'ugly duckling' for the first part of his life. I want him to know he is a BEAUTIFUL SWAN.
He didn't have a basic medical history on his birth family. He does now. He didn't know he had living half-siblings. He does now. I tried giving him some family history before communications shut down between us because of his adoptive mother's hatefulness toward me. He has more info now than he ever did if not for my having found him twelve years ago.
He was very excited when I found him. And had been looking for information on me from Salt Lake City the same year I was able to locate him.
However, Salt Lake City withheld vital information from him. They didn't provide him with a letter I wrote for him, or a poem I'd written for him when he was born that they promised me they would should he ever contact them. He still had no clue on where he came from if I hadn't of found him later that same year. SLC had the same vital records his adoptive parents did that he was part Hispanic yet continued to withhold that very important family history from him. The same SLC church leadership who sent him on a mission to a country of native blacks because they told him he was part negro, same as his adoptive family told him. Another bold faced lie.
Life is strange. But one thing I know is the bond between a mother and her child cannot be broken no matter the time or absence comes between them. I loved him fiercely and still do.
If he knows anything about where he came from, I hope that will be his main takeaway. That he still matters to me, and I still pray for him every day.
Happy birthday to my birth son. I've loved him with a mother's love since before he was born. It was my dream that we would meet one day, he would meet his half-siblings, and his other relatives so he could realize his unique place in his other family.
TSCC would erase his birth family. I hope he knows we exist and will love him for always. My mother always counted him as her grandchild. In heaven she is watching over him now, as his other ancestors from his birth family. Love is forever..
The Mormon church robbed us of each other. But love never dies. His history still matters and so does he to us, his birth family, and to me his first mother.
Edited 4 time(s). Last edit at 09/21/2017 05:45PM by Amyjo.