Some of you who have been around awhile know my story. My husband was a Mormon convert for a few years when he was married to his ex wife. He has two daughters with her and had claimed her older son as his, although he never legally adopted him. Ex is now remarried and has two more kids with her third victim.

In the wake of his divorce, the ex wife engaged in extreme parental alienation tactics. Although he paid child support and tried to maintain the relationship, my husband has not seen his daughters in person since 2004. In 2006, they sent letters demanding that he allow their stepfather to adopt them, which my husband refused to do.

Younger daughter is now 23, a returned missionary, and married to a RM. She started emailing my husband this year. Last night, my husband told me that his daughter had a baby boy last week. She sent him a picture. Older daughter remains totally estranged.

I don't know if or when they will ever see each other. I knew this day was coming, so I wasn't totally shocked when he gave me the news. I think he's feeling a little weird about it, since for so long, she wouldn't speak to him and refused to acknowledge him. She's now calling him Dad again. I kind of prefer to stay out of the whole mess.

I hope she's had a change of heart, but it's hard to trust her. Her older brother, my husband's former stepson, got in touch for a few years and then totally screwed my husband over for money. Younger daughter has so far just been emailing and not making requests.

I wish the baby luck and hope his mother doesn't turn out to be like his grandmother and great grandmother. Most of all, I hope his parents are able to stay together and, if they aren't, he doesn't turn into a pawn like his mother and aunt were.

Your instincts are correct. Stay out of the whole mess....

Gatorman

I can imagine that he has mixed feeling, Knotty. Given his history with them, I think the best course of action would for him not to give or loan money, period. Not for a very long time, anyway. He can simply say as a military retiree, he doesn't have it. I wish him the best of luck. It would be nice if he could have a relationship with at least some of his grandchildren.

Yeah, that would be nice.

It's very possible his daughter is sincere. She isn't asking for a handout to want her father in her life again. I hope things work out for the best between her and your husband.

I wonder if going on a mission exposed the now-talking daughter to enough of the real world so that she could think her way through the whole situation?

This notion might hold water if the older daughter did not go on a mission, thus remaining 'bubbled' away from great swaths of reality.

Not that it's useful, but you can't miss what you don't allow yourself to want. I heard this at a symposium where this guy, Judic West, was giving it away for free... He also said to be happy with what you have, and even sometimes with what you don't have. Yeah, basically incomprehensible.

My husband has been following his daughter’s writings online for years and he did mention that she seemed different after her mission. I think there’s a good chance she and her mother might be fighting, too.

Personally, I don’t care if we never see her. The way she and her sister and brother treated my husband extremely hateful and painful. But then, she is also a stranger to me. I have only met her once. I know my husband loves his daughters, so I am trying to stay out of it and hoping for the best.