Watching clips of 2 1/2 men and they threw in a mormon joke.




"Hey, Berta, did you the hear the news about Mom?"


"Yeah, she joined the Mormon church so she could get a rent controlled apartment in Salt Lake City."

"Oh you mean YOUR mom...., no."

**banter** "we're getting a new dad! He's great, his name is Teddy and he took us to a boxing match, he bought us prostitutes and gelato."

(muttering to herself as she's leaving) "I think my news was far more interesting."

Although I'm not sure I understand that joke, most Mormon jokes on sitcoms make Mormon's look silly brainwashed. I never see anyone making Mormonism look appealing.

A bad joke with no punchline.

Most of the world doesn't care about Mormonism, to the point they don't even care about making it a joke.

Well, my favorite mormon joke I used to tell with great confidence was:

The Pope was having his morning meetings with his cardinals. He went on to announce "I have received a phone call with some good news and some bad news.....The Good news is: Jesus Christ is back on the earth....The bad news is: the phone call came from Salt Lake City."

cutekitty Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Well, my favorite mormon joke I used to tell with
> great confidence was:
>
> The Pope was having his morning meetings with
> his cardinals. He went on to announce "I have
> received a phone call with some good news and some
> bad news.....The Good news is: Jesus Christ is
> back on the earth....The bad news is: the phone
> call came from Salt Lake City."


The sad thing about this kind of joke is that only Mormons would find it funny.

The rest of the world would go "huh?"

And in that, the joke is on Mormonism

I work with a guy who likes musical theater; the other day he started singing from 'The Sound of Music': "You are sixteen, going on seveteen..."

I immediately said: "Ah, the Joseph Smith song!"


He didn't get it.

There are more churches and religions in SLC including the Catholic Church.

Saw that episode and got a good "knowing" chuckle. Everyone can't be in on every joke though but I liked having that one just for me.

Mormons aren't so much a joke to the world as much as the world isn't even very aware of them. They know that God unleashed a plague of Mormon missionaries on the world instead of a plague of frogs this time, but other than that, they really don't keep up.

Nobody likes gnats either, but you don't become obsessed with them except when they are swarming.

I heard this one on my mission, when the British Invasion was really, really heating up...



A representative of the Beatles visited SLC in 1965, to see if there was sufficient interest in them, in order to decide on whether to include SLC in their tour. The rep spoke with radio and TV people and was continually told, "Hey, we love the idea, but you have to get the church's okay!" Initially perplexed, the rep finally did the research necessary to figuring out how things worked in SLC. So after finishing his research, he made an appointment to meet with a GA, and was told that Joseph Fielding Smith would meet with him.

At the meeting, JFS was his usual charming, bubbly self, laughing and joking around... No, of course not! He sat there, all frowny-faced, looking embalmed, surrounded by young flunkies, also frowning, while they all listened and the flunkies took notes.

When the rep's presentation was over, JFS asked a few questions about the religious upbringing of John, Paul, George & Ringo, a few questions about how long the concert would last and if there was much in the way of smut, like the Stones, 'I can't get no satisfaction'. The rep did his best to respond and when he was done, JFS summarily asked the rep to wait outside while he deliberated with his people.

Now he'd done a bit of research, so while he knew things weren't looking good, he had an ace in the hole...

And sure enough, when he was invited back into JFS's office, JFS began to berate the rep, the Beatles, their music, the crumbling of civilization wrought by this satanic music, etc., etc.

When JFS was done, glaring, and with spittle flecking his jowls, he dismissed the rep, who instead of turning to leave, smiled at JFS and said, "Did I mention that the boys would be paying tithing to the church on every dime earned by this concert, in cash?

JFS's face lit up, a big smile creased his sour puss, and he broke into song and started doing the twist..., "♪♫ Tell them that they're welcome, yeah, yeah, yeah, any day but on the sabbath...♪♫

You had to be there, I guess...



Sorry, peeps, I've been carrying that around for over 50 years!! And now I have laid the burden down! <phew!>

I've told this story before but it bears repeating. When I

finally wised up to the fact that the mormon church was just

a swirling mess of quick sand my girlfriends wanted all of us

to do lunch to celebrate my leaving the church. So we went to

lunch and they regaled me with stories of how stupid the

mormon church is and how relieved they were that I got out.

They said they couldn't understahd how I could actually


believe all that bogus crap. Now, looking back on all of it, I

can't believe it either. Its still a major relief to me and

it still makes me smile to know I'm out.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 10/23/2017 09:34PM by saucie.

AN EQ lesson about Obedience in the Latter Days. The instructor wanted to leave a final thought on the day's lesson by reminding the class that the Lord will not hesitate to destroy wickedness; especially in cities. "Remember all the destruction that befell the inhabitants of San Francisco in the Great Earthquake of 1906. God was very upset with that wicked city."

Brother Goop interrupted "Hold on. I have studied and read many articles and books on that very earthquake. I'm confident that God wasn't too angry with San Francisco. Are you aware that more churches were completely destroyed in that earthquake than brothels, bars, and saloons? That's a fact."

There was a sudden roar of laughter. So much so that my father was told to leave the room. Dad always enjoyed that story because he couldn't be bothered to give the closing prayer when they kicked him out.



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 10/23/2017 09:56PM by messygoop.

As the bus stopped and it was her turn to get on, she became aware that her skirt was too tight to allow her leg to come up to the height of the first step of the bus. Slightly embarassed and with a quick smile to the driver, she reached behind her to unzip her skirt a little, thinking that this would give her enough slack to raise her leg. She tried to take the step, but only to discover that she couldn't.

With a little smile to the driver, she again reached behind to unzip a little more and again was unable to take the step.
After becoming quite frusturated and embarassed, she once again attempted to unzip her skirt more in order to allow more leg room to get on the first step of the bus.

About this time, a large Texan who was standing behind her picked her up easily by the waist and placed her gently on the step of the bus,

She went ballistic and turned to the would-be Samaritan and yelled "How dare you touch my body! I don't even know who you are!"

The texan smiled and drawled "Well ma'am, normally I would agree with you but after you unzipped my fly three times I kinda figured we were friends.

Good one!

That was great. Thanks for sharing.

bravo Amy.