You are missed my friend i know you are busy and living life though.

Sounds like slang for those suffering ED.

"I've got... *ahem*... Boner withdrawals..."

Hahahaha you guys crack me up. I guess the title could be read different ways.

My withdrawals were always post-boner.

I thought this was an Onanism post...:)

Why do you have to use smart words? I don't know what the hell Onanism means haha. Badass out.

https://rationalwiki.org/wiki/Onanism

My favorite part of that page:

"Noted smartass Dorothy Parker named her parrot Onan, because he too spilled his seed upon the ground."

:)



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 10/30/2017 01:22PM by ificouldhietokolob.

Lol

See? All that Biblical study is useful after all!

Onan's sin was not masturbation. Rather, he was disobedient to the Levitical requirement to carry on his brother's line and provide progeny for his brother's widow. The purpose of these "Levarite" marriages or relationships was to maintain tribal cohesion. Onan's actual practice was coitis interuptis, for which he paid with his life.

This is, of course, Old Covenant history. For a brief but serious exposition, check out:

https://www.cgg.org/index.cfm/fuseaction/Library.sr/CT/BQA/k/64/Why-Did-God-Slay-Onan-Genesis-383-10.htm

caffiend Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> For a
> brief but serious exposition...

You and I must have different definitions of "serious."

Story summary: There are two brothers. God kills one of them, because he doesn't like him. Then God orders the other one to have sex with the first one's wife, but the other one doesn't want to produce a kid, so he pulls out before climax. So God kills the other brother, too.

Seriously? :)

God is kiiind of a dick.

Thank you for the literal laugh out loud, Badass!

Haha any time.

We're talking about two wicked men whom God executes. Er's sins are unspecified, which happens in Scripture. Similarly, Enoch's virtues are not specified, except that he "walked with God, and God took him." God is sovereign, and will extract retribution or provide reward as He sees fit, sometimes immediately, sometimes delayed.

Onan was 1) larcenous and 2) disobedient to the requirement to marry Er's widow (Levarite marriage), and 3) deceitful--he went through the motions of impregnating her, but deliberately failed to do so. By denying her an heir, Er's land would revert to him (Onan), leaving the widow destitute. Onan also sought to gain the rights and privileges of primogeniture. So God killed him.

All this must seem strange to people unfamiliar with or unsympathetic to God's working in the Old Testament. As a counter-example, there is a time when the practice of Levarite marriage was honored with very positive results. Ruth was a pagan, a Moabite woman, and thus at natural enmity with the Hebrews. But she followed her mother-in-law Naomi, a fellow widow, back to Israel, and accepted the ways of the Jews. Perhaps she was, at first, only a nominal believer. She and Naomi would have no rights to Naomi's lands, but a righteous man Boaz fulfilled his obligation as "kinsman-redeemer" and married her. Their grandson was Jesse, father of David, anscester to Jesus.

So two pagan women factor in Christ's lineage, Rahab the Harlot being the other.

I shall now return to the True Glorious Purpose of this thread, the Honor of the Forum's HEAD Wanker! (See below.)

caffiend Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> So God killed him.

> All this must seem strange to people unfamiliar
> with or unsympathetic to God's working in the Old
> Testament.

Strange? Yes. Not to mention immoral, disgusting...and let's not forget fictional.

The OT is full of stories of Yahweh killing people for the most minor of 'sins.' So the immoral brutality of Yahweh stories isn't at all surprising. Other cultures of the time also believed their god-things killed people they didn't like, so such beliefs certainly weren't unusual at the time, no matter how ridiculous or disgusting.

Come on, though -- you haven't once read that story and wondered who was watching Onan pull out early so they could write the story down for posterity? Yahweh and his followers sure seem like a voyeuristic lot.

As badassadam says above, the bible god is kind of a dick. Good thing it's not real. :)

This was supposed to be a light-hearted thread to honor Utah's Most Notorious Wanker, who was feared lost, in either work or his headphones. So rather than exchange more brickbats, I'll indulge you your rant (Mat. 7.6, 13.15).

Boner, after I finish my epic Romance, I'm thinking of working on a libretto. I don't think anybody's ever done a dramatic treatment on Onan, so I'll be calling upon you for expert advice, of course!

Do check out my link to Mark Twain, below for the "ultimate, if not the last word," as I termed it.

God is stiiiiill a dick.

Amen, brother badass.

https://io9.gizmodo.com/gods-12-biggest-dick-moves-in-the-old-testament-1522970429



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 10/31/2017 03:41PM by ificouldhietokolob.

Haha thats awesome(says quitely just in case i get struck by lightning haha). I remember when i was really young and reading the old testament and that was pretty much the beginning of being against religion within myself. An angry and jealous god, i don't want to deal with that nonsense especially if it is a god.

Haha learn something new everyday. I am using that word from now on its way better than the other one that's for sure. "What have you been up to adam?" "oh nothing just got done with the onanism" haha.

...Onan's Boner? Doesn't have the same feeling.

Although he deliberately confused Onanism with (ahen, cough-cough!) self-abuse, I believe Mark Twain has the ultimate, if not the last, word on the matter:

http://www.textfiles.com/etext/AUTHORS/TWAIN/onanism.txt

What is this? I come home from a long day/night at work and see this—Boner withdrawal!

What do you do when you’ve got friends like these? I’ll tell you what you do, you tell them that they are the best bunch of wankers an old fart could ever wish for!

I love you folks! Thanks, Badass for making me laugh! I hope I can return the favor. These days, a little rise in my Levi’s becomes one of life’s little pleasures to be enjoyed, cherished, and savored.

For those of you literary types, I recommend reading Ray Bradbury’s short story, “Junior,” to fully comprehend the power of morning glory. ((((Hugs))))

I am lost cause boner i can't even get out of pain for christ's sakes. This cold weather is kicking my ass.

in on no homo thred ! ~

Hahahaha ziller you the man.