"Short of this board, I often feel like the only person who's exmo...."
These were the words from CHICKENWING to SNORT recently in a previous post. Amazing what a small world it truly is.....I just wanted to shout-out to ChickenWing and say, "You are NOT alone and that there are RfM friends closer than you might think!"

You can consider SNORT to be one of them. My identity may surprise you....but I'm still working through the whole "personal integrity VS. hurting TBM family members" thing!

Thanks for the support!

I empathize with not wanting to hurt your family members. I had it easy. My mother converted when she was in college, and none of my extended family joined. I married a nonmo, and my kids were still too young to have formed an opinion when I resigned. The only person I was afraid of telling was my mom.

I probably would have held off a lot longer if I wasn't afraid she would find out from others. As soon as I had written my letter of resignation, even before I got a response, the rumor mills started churning. So I called her up and told her. She was and is obviously hurt, but like always she supports my decisions.

I can't even begin to imagine how hard it has to be for somebody who has a big family of TBMs. I admire anybody who's able to stand strong against that kind of pressure. However and whenever anybody works through that pressure earns my respect.

I *THINK* snort knows you or is maybe a member of your family??

Go back over that other thread and see if there's something there that gives you a clue.

Wouldn't it be wonderful if somebody in your life was already a secret ex-mo? Good luck!

;o)

It's an interesting thought, but I don't think I gave enough information about myself originally to be identified. Palmer's pretty small though, so the possibility that we may have known each other is always a possibility.

Hi ya ChickenWing,

I'm not a regular poster here so I don't know if these posts are being constructed properly???

Anyway, it is very nice to know that others, even far away in our corner of the world (Palmer), have moved on to find true happiness! My dear wife is nevermo and finds it fascinating that TSCC could apply such pressure and control over another! I can only say that, "I understand it better now from the INSIDE-OUT".

Very nice to "meet" you too. Let me know if you'd ever like to meet others. I'd love to know how your "letter" was received by local leadership. I get the feeling "they" are just waiting for my letter in the mail???

I sent my letter directly to COB in Utah. A week or so later I got a letter from the Bishop saying he recieved the request and would wait 30 days..blah blah. I didn't respond, and nobody called me. I just moved into the 3rd ward, and had only met the bishop twice, so I'm guessing he didn't recognize the name. It took just a bit over a month to get my letter back informing me that I was REALLY out. Super smooth.

It was the Relief Society gals that started asking my friends from the 2nd ward what was "wrong with me." One of my closest friends knows that I really like to ask a lot of "hard" questions. So when she was asked the question she responded with "oh nothing, don't worry about her." She was shocked when they told her I had resigned. And I was shocked when she called me to ask me about it. That's when I knew that my private matter was quickly being made public and it would be better if I let everyone else know before they found out through the grapevine. At the time I really resented being forced to out myself, but who knows how long I would have procrastinated if I was able to.

Hi Shannon....

I don't know if I have actually met ChickenWing, but it is kind of nice to know that we are never traveling our individual journeys "alone".

Thanks :o)

My work keeps me in check. There is only one Mo that I works with, the rest are nevermos and maybe one exmo.

At home and all family activities, I am the apostate. I dont really care, no one ever brings it up. They are afraid they might offend me. Not sure why they think this. I would talk to anyone about my feelings, but I wont start the conversation because I dont want to come across as an anti. I would rather just show them that I am happy where I am at.

See http://packham.n4m.org/morexmos.htm

Honestly, I don't have a good pulse on that yet.

I am just beginning to be more "vocal" with my personal journey.

HOWEVER, I have been a long-time reader of ANYTHING from Richard Packham!

May I simply say "thank you" and offer this post as a simple reminder that your story and calm, rational style have helped me MORE than you may realize!

Surrounded by family history and ancestors close to JS and BY, I constantly felt myself swimming in the deep waters of denial and "go-along-to-get-along". You're writings seem to have been a "floating log" in the current....they didn't magically pull me from the water, but they DID help me clear my head, take inventory of my surroundings and kick like hell to get to shore!

THANK YOU FOR YOUR VOICE RICHARD!!!

I just read your paper on exmormon populations, and I want to thank for your work. Well done, Richard.

Reported LDS members=5,599,177

People who actually identify themselves as Mormon=2,697,000

So I guess the difference would be exmormons.

Remember that all members of households are included. And many of the minor age identified Mormons might already be non-believers.