My daughter celebrated her birthday earlier this week. She has not stepped foot in a church building in years. Mormon grandparents got her Mormon propaganda jewelry with hymn lyrics on a necklace.I am so angry and need to rant here or I will explode with them. Seriously, why give a child something she will clearly not want just to appear like they are doing missionary work? Why can't she give nothing instead...it would be far more welcome.

Hide it. When they visit tell them they have to find it by inspiration......if they locate it they can keep it. If not it stays where it is. Hopefully buried in the backyard....

Gatorman

we live far apart and they are on a mission so no visits in the near future

Mormon's are so arrogant and their thinking is so warped. Maybe try to look at it as a inoculation/vaccination helping to keep the Mormon disease from EVER finding a host in your daughter.

If I were in your shoes, I would have a hard time containing my disappointment/anger here on the BB though I think that you are doing the best thing by airing it here.

Discuss Mormonism with your daughter, don't just put it down. Ask her questions that will help her think and understand. Try not to get too emotional and try not put your parents down in front of her, it could push her towards them. Telling your daughter that your are disappointed in their gift and why will help her realize how inappropriate their intentions/attentions are.

Choose To Reject.

"What does it mean, mom?"

"That they don't know us at all, and still want to tell others how to live their lives. I feel sorry for them, that they were raised that way. Ask anything you want."

send it back to them in the mail with a note that it is inappropriate.

Cash gifts are great! Maybe they will get a hint one day.

Rant away. I find it disgusting. Why can't they just be normal grandparents?

My parents did the same with two grand daughters and when the girls were in their teens gave them some kind of Mormon book on chastity. The girls were extremely offended and their NeverMo mother hasn't spoken to my parents since. One of the granddaughters want very little to do with them but the other still maintains a good relationship and "tolerates" the heavy Mormon agenda.

Great way to pull a family apart.

Good luck with however you decide to handle it, but I wouldn't let it go. The fabled highroad will only lead you in frustrating circleS in this situation.

"Mormon propaganda jewelry" LOL!

My grandchildren's other grandparents are very Mormon, and they are always giving my grandchildren Deseret Bookstore gifts. I promised my daughter that I would stop criticizing "The Church", so I keep quiet. Thank you, RFM for letting me rant on here!

Now that you mention it, I have never seen my grandchildren wear any of the jewelry. No CTR rings, no pictures of the temple or Malibu Jesus hanging on their walls, no "proclamation on the family", no inspirational Mormon posters--nada! I just checked their book cases, and the Mormon books are not there! Hm-m-m-m-m. It's strange, how the cult stuff has disappeared! I wonder if it has anything to do with my daughter being an Atheist!

Things do get lost....

Cheap jewelry breaks....

It does no good at all to confront Mormons. They are well aware of what they are doing, and are not going to change their cult behavior, as long as they remain TBM. Arguing with Mormons is frustrating, because they never address an issue head-on, never give you a straight answer, and never really listen. Mormons turn it around, so you appear to be the bad guy. You don't want your daughter to think you are mean. The best solution is to not acknowledge the gift at all--no thank-you note, no mention of the gift. It's just advertising. If your daughter wants to thank her grandparents, she can do what she wants.

I would say something like, "Let's go to the mall, and I will buy you a fun necklace--you can pick it out." Jewelry can be a statement of who you are.

"Mormons turn it around, so you appear to be the bad guy." Yup.

Just build on your relationship with the children rather than confront the grandparents? I like your slant a lot. You do actually seem to be a mother who knows. :)

Why don't you have your daughter return the favor? She could send Grandma a crucifix for Christmas. Include a note - "Grandma, thank you for the thoughtful gift. As a thank you I'm sending you something that means a lot to me. I can't wait to see you wearing it when I see you next!"

Fun idea. Also, there are Star and Crescent pendants, Menorahs on chains, Star of Davids, and all sorts of religious symbols to send with a note that says, "This is really fun exchanging religious paraphernalia! I've got a great collection going now. Still hoping to get a commemorative Peeptone replica if you ever come across one. Thanks so much for this fun idea. XXOO"

Mormons give [gifts] (JUNK) things they want you to receive rather than anything useful, practical or thoughtful.

Thoughtless
Useless
Impractical

I am not Mormon, never been one, never had anything against them until I married into a Mormon family. My husband's grandfather gave us the BOM for a wedding present with a nice note on the first page, followed by a lecture about "why we get married in the temple". His parents were on the fringes of the cult and had him baptized as a child (by his grandfather), but never attended the church much after that. We were married outside by a female (gasp!) Unitarian minister, which made the lecture worse. I read the thing cover to cover and just about had a panic attack as in "you don't really believe any of this crap, do you?". The book went straight to a thrift store, nice note and all. A few years later at his grandfather's funeral, all the "good" Mormon cousins rambled on about what a wonderful loving grandfather he had been, but my husband had avoided him at all the family events, because of the lectures, and they barely knew each other. Frankly, it was sad. I can't imagine having no relationship w/my grandchildren because they chose to practice a different religion or none at all. Of all his siblings, one sister somehow ended up in the cult and she is a royal pain in the rear - sending us super religious Xmas ornaments, love bombing etc., and none of my kids want anything to do with her.

I think my daughter does a good job dealing with crap religious gifts from her grandma.

My MIL would ask did you get --barfy book with gooey religious message?

Daughter says, "Yes."

Silence.

MIL launches into all the special reasons why it's such a great thing.

Daughter says, "hmmm."

MIL says 12 more things about the gift.

Daughter changes subject.

Daughter calls me and we have fun griping about the awful crap grandma sends.

It would be different if my kid were different. She had no use for her grandmother or religion since she turned twelve.

I feel for anyone worried that these gifts might influence their kids.

Give it to DI or Goodwill and give her a pretty top or a little cash. Say that Grandma made a mistake and you're helping to fix it.

This is one reason why i do not acknowledge birthdays or holidays. I don't want any gifts of any kind. Had one bad experience on a birthday and that was it for me.

I have put it up on a pay it forwards type gifting page and we went out for lunch instead. She said a generic "thank you for the lovely card for my birthday and for sending a present - the rule is you are polite when someone gives you something even if you don't like it. we decided some child may like it, it was far too immature for my girl anyway. at least giving it away it made my daughter feel happier about it. She has zero contact with the church apart form very occasional grandma phone conversations. The mormon grandchildren do not get propaganda jewelry - presumably they do not require saving, but in my opinion she'd be better concentrating her efforts on them. Statistically over a third of them are likely to apostatize, mine are already very far removed form the one true church...

A bishop with a beautifully wrapped gift of scriptures showed up at my house on Christmas Eve one year. This guy was a total stranger and for years I'd told mormons in person, in writing, and through police action to stay away from my house.

My husband yelled foul words, refused to accept the gift and chased the guy to his car.

What did many RfMers say? That I was required to be nice when someone was bringing a gift.

No. Bishops, grandmas, co-workers, and others have no right to try to control feelings and behaviors through gift-giving.

If someone gives a ham to a Jewish person, they deserve to have it refused.

If someone gives shoes to a legless person they deserve to be told, "Take these away."

If someone gives scriptures to a known atheist, they shouldn't expect gratitude.

If someone tries to force another person's child into mormonism through pointed mormon gift-giving, they need to understand that the parent might not support their effort and that the child will be disappointed about being disrespected.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 12/12/2017 09:10AM by Cheryl.