Christmas dinner turned into a sunday school session.

Cousin: "Why are you serving a mission?"

Sibling: "Because this church is true and the world needs to hear about it"

Me: Hey just make sure you dont give it out to people who dont need or want it"

Parent " Who doesn't need the gospel?"

Me: "Im talking about the lds church."

And then the conversation died. Afterwards, I became so upset that I was actually shaking. Why does the topic of missions get me so worked up? Because I had a really horrible time on my mission and hearing my sibling talk with such brainwashed zeal really was a wake up call of sorts.

I think what frustrates me is the fact that my sibling will likely have a mission which solidifies their spot in the church. My mission tore me away from mormonism, but every one in my family pretends I just up and left out of left field... I suppose I desire validation for leaving the church and Im looking for that validation from the most TBM family...


Now in reality I know I dont need that validation and I know I wont change anybody by arguing during christmas dinner. It just hurts because out of all my siblings this is the one I had the most hope for... and Im going to witness them be further brainwashed and be powerless to prevent it from happening.

I hear you. I've had to severely limit the time I spend with my TBM family for the sake of my own sanity.

Yes. Mormons serve up the double whammy. First you get a front row seat to see how really ridiculously, mindlessly, indoctrinated they are--they love to put on a show-- and then just as you are so appalled by the inanity of them, comes round two as they look at you as the one who is lost and screwed up. Makes it really hard to be around them.

I get why you are shaking and upset. The wounds are fresh. You are still healing. And then you have Mormons to pour salt into the wounds. They feed on making sure you know you are lost and they are found. It's not so much that they want to hurt you, it just that they have to reassure themselves constantly by indulging in this kind of behavior--making sure you know they are superior to you.

Somehow just rolling your eyes isn't always enough and you just have to keep a distance when they are on their own home turf and make the rules. I just stay away. Haven't spent time with family on holidays for three decades. I see them on my own terms and they know when I'm around it is never "Mormon-time."

I think it is great you spoke up. You are part of the family and you have as much right to voice your opinion as anyone. I am impressed.

To me it sounds like you are dealing with the very real potential of loosing your relationships with your family. Anger is a huge part of that. I was 32 when I stopped believing, though I was still a cultural mormon. I was angry a lot of the time and mad at my family for all of their judgment and eventually their shunning. I always say there's nothing that screams - "It's a CULT!" like a good shunning.

It has been 15 years since then and I still get angry every once in a while. My anger has subsided for the most part but it is still there when the subject arises. I think that it is important to feel everything and not try to shut it out. You need to work through all of these emotions in order to deal with the potential loss of relationships with your TBM family.

My wife wanted to learn more about my former cult so she could help me through the anger. She would invite the missionaries over just to see what they had to say. I could not stand being in the same room with them. that was over a decade ago. Now I actually want to have missionaries over just to give them a break and be kind to them. I was a missionary too once. Of course I would hopefully help them out of the cult and send them home so they can get started on the rest of their lives sans cult.

Anyway, I'm rambling. Good luck with your family.

My experience was at Christmas Eve dinner at my daughters.

Two female missionaries were present.

As a family, we talk fast and with jokes, so one has to keep up to know what is a joke, and what is serious. Nonetheless, one of the women valiantly tried to keep up with the talk.

The happy end to this story (to me), was when my daughter's youngest told me he is going to join the Marines in February. This automatically leaves the mission stuff behind in his dust, and besides, being a Marine is truly rewarding (whereas Mormon missionararys are trained to teach falsehoods, and often come home feeling guilty). They will also further his schooling (for 'free').

This will make him the second in our family to be in the military, let alone during a war (my husband was in WWII).

As he is voluntarily joining, and is smart, so he will be able to get some great benefits (and if the coupling 'works', he could have a great career therein, according to his wishes.)

Pretty bad when a guy would rather be spending his days in 130 degree heat, getting shot at in a sandbox in an Arab country, then knocking on doors and annoying people for the lds church. Good for him. Thank him for defending our country and for his bravery.

I absolutely dread all my family dinners. Somehow they always end up talking about Mormonism.

NonSeq! Great to have you back!

Here’s what happened to me at T-Day dinner. I’m sitting at the table minding my own business when my TBM BIL starts telling me how the Brethren are concerned about the worthiness of the young folks going out on missions. He asks me if I knew there were new worthiness questions (as though I gave a fuck!).

He’s going on and on about how the questions are designed to get kids to open up about their sins. He’s mentioning arrests, sex, drugs, and ... mental illness (as though that’s a sin!) He’s also getting emotionally worked up about the lack of worthiness.

So, after hearing all this I basically say, “X, given the extreme pressure in our neighborhood to serve missions wouldn’t it be easier for a kid to just lie? You’ve been a bishop, surely kids have lied to you so as not to disappoint their parents.”

Man, you should have seen the look I got! Bro-Hugs, the Unworthy Boner.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 12/27/2017 02:08AM by BYU Boner.

Mormonism would ruin a wet dream

baptism for the dead and young Sister Sally Hardnipples had to go braless because her bra wasn't white.