Today my mom-in-law (MIL) took DW and I snowmobiling for the first time as a congratulations for my recent med school acceptance. She very generously paid but was dumbfounded when told there was a charge for gas ON TOP of the rentals. She got all fussy and made the employees feel bad. Then, she refused the $30 dollar damage insurance (of course). DW hit a tree and bent the tunnel, causing almost $3000 worth of damage.
MIL called her insurance and found out they would cover it after a cheap deductible. She then calls her DH and decided they wouldn't use their insurance because it would affect their monthly payments, even though we offered to pay the deductible. Instead, I had to pay my HUGE deductible and take the monthly hit, even though MIL was the one who paid for and refused the liability insurance at the time of rental.
Even my DW is pissed at them. Did I mention that MIL and her DH make over 200k a year? Did I mention that we are poor broke college kids about to be more poor and broke in med school?
I didn't and frankly, never would ask for help-- I am probably too prideful. But wouldn't you expect them to step in and offer to help? I probably would have turned down an offer to pay for it, but letting us use their better insurance would have been readily excepted.
The minivans:
My unfortunate brothers-- both own minivans. Both also had said minivans crashed by my parents. Brothers are in 30's, married with 3 kids, doing well financially. Even though my parents were the sole cause of the minivan damage, neither offered to help pay for the damages WHATSOEVER. My parents could easily afford to help.
I will be the first to admit I'm cheap myself, my DW would be the second to admit that I'm cheap haha. How did this become such a huge part of mormon culture?
Is this just my family, or have you experienced Cheap A$$ Momo's yourself? Stories are appreciated =)
This is a cheap life lesson. Always take the extra insurance where you can walk away from any damage when renting jetski, motorbikes, and snowmobiles. You need to pay the money when others don't pay. Right now your sole source of income is from your wife? If it is, she is paying for her mistake. Also, never assume that older people know what is best or right. They might not have learned their life lesson yet. Anyways, at worst the extra money you pay would have paid for the entire snowmobile experience. Not a large loss. Also, never talk negative about your in-laws in front of your DW. Remind her that her mother was generous. Feel free to unload your real feelings to your family and guy friends. I am not saying that you don't talk to you wife, just be 100x more careful when it involves her family. You will be judged on how well you handle situations, not the outcome. Remember that you have to be prince-frinkin-charming when the time comes when you leave the church, as it bursts the bubble that your wife is in. That means rubbing her back and doing what she wants for the next year before you come out. Start building up that good will, you will need it.
Very true. DW and I determined to always pay the extra insurance on anything we do in the future.
Also, believe it or not, I actually love my in-laws! They are awesome (mostly) and the rest of the time when they aren't I shut my mouth. We only even talked about this because DW brought it up. I never would have said anything otherwise.
Your in-laws behavior is disgusting. Don't think this won't happen again. Next time look the gift horse in the mouth and don't bet on the nag.
I have a brother who happens to make a lot of money--a lot--and he is also an ex mish prez and an Area Seventy and is the cheapest SOB on the planet. He will nickel and dime you to death. He is the kind to sit and figure out a bill at a restaurant to the penny as to what everyone owes and then argue over twenty cents for 10 minutes.
In forty years he and his wife have never brought one single thing to the family pot luck get togethers in the summer. But he is the golden boy of my parents eye because he is a sort of G.A. Proudest moment of their lives was when they got to stand and raise their arm to the square when he was sustained in GC.
He's also a homophobic, misogynistic prick. I know I'm heading off topic here but you got me thinking about him so its all your fault. :)
Ha sorry to stir the waters! It is funny how the cheapest (to the point of dishonesty) people I know are mormon.
My brother's wife's parents are in their stake presidency yet when they go skiing together, they buy 1 pass and all wait under the ski lift for one person to hop on, drop the pass from the lift to the next until each has made it to the top on one pass. Believe me when I say MONEY IS NOT A CONCERN for these people. Unreal.
Since MIL took out the rental agreement, and signed it, she is the responsible party. Her insurance should pay. It was her invite and she was well aware of possible consequences. Since you took financial responsibility after the fact (I would bet legally you could not be forced to pay) you are the better man in this fiasco. You knew this could end with a huge family situation so you bit the bullet. Hats off to you.
Apostate: 1 TBM: 0
Go forward warned. When you become a doctor, your in-laws will proclaim that you are a high roller and dump all possible fees, hotel reservations, ticket prices, dinner tabs, travel expenses, etc. on you. This has been an expensive learning experience bro. Take heed for the future. If your parents are professionals, I'll bet your in-laws simply assume you are flush.
I keep my insurance deductible high ($1k), because my wife's had 1 accident in the past 20 years, and I've had none. Keeping it high saves me a couple hundred a month (and after five months, if we have an accident, we broke even...and longer, and we're ahead).
And I also always get the "supplemental" insurance if I rent a car or rec vehicle. It's usually about $20-$30, a lot cheaper than my $1k deductible.
In hindsight (ain't it great?), it might have been a good idea for you to pay the supplemental premium after MIL refused it. While pointing out to her how economically smart it is to do so. And then after your DW's tree incident, you could have an "I told you so" moment, and point out how prescient you were (without the "spirit!").
My father gave generously to the church while denying me any allowance or lunch money. One day he told my two broke ass brothers and me to go with him for a "project." It turned out he had bought two rental houses in secret while denying us spare change. We were only told when he needed the free labor. We weeded and cleaned up two yards in one day without pay. Renters watched out the window as the landlord's poor sons worked the yards. I got in trouble for stealing food downtown.
While serving a stateside mission in the early 90s, my companion and I rode our bikes to Taco Bell for lunch to meet another set of elders that drove up in a car. I ordered a combo meal for 4 dollars and change. It came with plenty of food and a large cup. The remaining elders ordered a bunch of 59 cent burritos and a small 69 cent cup. Yes, I felt embarrassed as the three of them not only shared that tiny cup, but each one of them had no shame as each one walked up to the counter (again and again) to ask for a "free" refill. Keep in mind that free refills was a novelty back then as you used to have to pay for another drink if you wanted more soft drink.