So I was married to a TBM woman for 25+ yrs. Our marriage turned into a loveless marriage about half way into it when I decided I couldn't do the Mormon thing any more. For the last half there was no physical relationship. I hung on for the kids and am not the cheater type, so I just went without for 12 years.

Now a couple years divorced in my mid-50s I finally met someone special. And she also happens to be a massage therapist! I always knew there was a mind-body connection, but I'm now in some new territory that I never knew existed. Combined with the emotional intimacy we share it's just incredible. My body is still glowing two days afterwards. Thinking about her makes my body tinkle all over (kind of like an erotic version of the Holy Ghost!).

Just wanted to bear my testimony of the power of touch and sexual healing. I feel more alive and in touch with my humanness that I've ever felt before. So beautiful and unexpected.

Peace and love, everyone.

That is a wonderful story.

Healing indeed!

It's true. Powerful. Healing. Connection. I love a GOOD massage. I was going to become a massage therapist at one point. Now I just practice. Good stuff!

Tingling is better than tinkling. I tinkle in the bathroom or in the woods but I tingle all over.

Back to the regularly scheduled comments.

M@t

Touch is incredibly important, especially if someone is a "Touch person" [one of the "Five Love Languages"].

It is wonderful that you have connected with the right person for you.

I am very happy for you both!!

Glad you got the happy ending!

Devoted Exmo Wrote:
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> Glad you got the happy ending!

It hasn't ended yet!

M@t

Woosh!

LOL!

I wanted to say that. *LOL*

Sounds like the difference between heaven and hell (if there were such places). Glad you found what you need.

Now that you're at where you're at, what would you advise a 30-something spouse yoked to a TBM, with kids under 12 years of age? Stay in the sexless marriage for the sake of the kids, or get out and start living life your way?

That sounds like a very specific question. . .

Yes, LW, it is, but it unspecifically specific; I wanted a specific question, but it has nothing to do with any reality that I'm aware of.

I bailed after 7 years of marriage and three kids under 10...

I thought perhaps a child or grandchild.

You ask the tough question. I'm sure that is one that many of us confront and few know how to answer.

Does your wife provide emotional intimacy? If so stay for the kids and masturbate. That is what I do, my husband provides emotional intimacy and is a great guy. But he has ED and there is no sexual intimacy at all (we hide that discussion under the rug). I recently discovered vibrators and it is better than a man......sorry to say that guys, of course there is no intimacy with vibrators/M/toys, that is why you should get intimacy somewhere, my hubby just came over and hugged me, so I got the best of both worlds, best orgasms (whenever I want them) and a loving good man, just separately.

Man I am glad I am incognito!!

elderolddog Wrote:
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> Now that you're at where you're at, what would you
> advise a 30-something spouse yoked to a TBM, with
> kids under 12 years of age? Stay in the sexless
> marriage for the sake of the kids, or get out and
> start living life your way?

Good question, and I wish I had a bulletproof answer. Here's how I think of it: every decision we make has a both benefits and liabilities. You just have to weigh them as carefully as you can proceed from there.

In my case, I still wonder if I made the best decision and I will probably never know for sure. My daughter has thanked me for toughing it out and making it easier for her to get through HS without the divorce disruption. My ex and I tried not to fight in front of the kids. After the first year we both got tired of fighting and it went into a sort of detente. Other than the church being an issue we were compatible with working together to maintain a household and raise the kids. I'm sure the kids picked up on our emotional isolation from each other and that was a liability. If your relationship is toxic to the point of not being able to be civil and work together then staying together is definitely not a good option.

Once again, weigh your options carefully, and proceed from there. There is no one right answer.

All the best

doesn't like a happy ending. :)

In Japan, this is the idea behind the word "skinship" that they use to describe the bond developed by physical touch between two people. It is a very real thing.

Physical touch between people is crucial to happiness in this life. Being starved of physical touch is a feeling worse than a feeling of thirst or hunger. I'm glad that you had this experience and that it provides a source of healing for you. It feels really, really good, doesn't it?

It's my dream to be with a massage therapist. How can you top that?

I can almost hear Marvin Gay in the background, and picture low lights, candles, and a very happy ending indeed.

"Thinking about her makes my body tinkle all over (kind of like an erotic version of the Holy Ghost!)."

Please tell us that you meant "tingle".

If they're both consenting adults . . . .nothing wrong with that!

Says Donald "golden showers" Trump.

As a former professional massage therapist, I highly recommend giving massages to your SO. It doesn't matter that you haven't gone to school to learn it, just do the best you can. Trust me, she won't be judging you. I got so I never mentioned I was an LMT, because people would literally turn their back and ask for a shoulder rub. Where was mine? Oh, I had to PAY to get one. Bleh.

I'm so glad you got your happy ending. You went a long time

without that feeling of love and sex and just pure happiness.

Luck to you my friend,