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Posted by: pollythinks ( )
Date: March 24, 2018 06:16PM

I don't remember any Latter-day 'prophet' prophesying anything regarding the church since I've been a member.

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Posted by: olderelder ( )
Date: March 24, 2018 06:20PM

Because they say they are, and that's all the sheeple need to hear.

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Posted by: sonofthelefthand ( )
Date: March 24, 2018 06:48PM

They shouldn't be called a prophet, since even if they did prophesy, it wouldn't come true. I read in another thread that old Joe made some prophecies that didn't pan out. The more recent prophets have probably been too scared to make the attempt for fear of being found out for the frauds they are.

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Posted by: AnonInCali ( )
Date: March 24, 2018 06:49PM

Because "Prophet" is a common mis-spelling of "Profit."

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Posted by: sbg ( )
Date: March 24, 2018 06:51PM

CEO lacks a religious connotation

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Posted by: elderolddog ( )
Date: March 24, 2018 07:08PM

"Dumb Ass" would work, as in Dumb Ass Nelson, but they insist on skirting the truth...

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Posted by: Shinehah ( )
Date: March 24, 2018 09:46PM

It's true that they never do prophesy but by golly if they wanted to they could. Ask any TBM.

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Posted by: readwrite-LO ( )
Date: March 24, 2018 09:47PM

They figured it beat dick tater

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Posted by: thedesertrat1 ( )
Date: March 24, 2018 09:56PM

You spelled profit wrong

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Posted by: messygoop ( )
Date: March 24, 2018 10:08PM

They quorum of the twelve investors look to the profit for financial inspiration.

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Posted by: not anon this time ( )
Date: March 25, 2018 12:13AM

Because TSCC has redefined "prophet" to mean "the head of the church." He doesn't actually *need* to do any, you know, prophet-type stuff. From their own website (translation follows):

"A person who has been called by and speaks for God."

[Like us. 'Cuz we say so.]

"As a messenger of God, a prophet receives commandments, prophecies, and revelations from God."

[Especially commandments. Commandments are sweet. We have a ton and we'll let you in on all of 'em.]

"His responsibility is to make known God’s will and true character to mankind and to show the meaning of His dealings with them."

[Yup, we'll let you know what God's will is 'cuz he won't talk to you. Trust us. Have we mentioned tithing? Paying tithing is God's will.]

"A prophet denounces sin and foretells its consequences."

[Oh yeah, we also get to say what's a sin. Like, uh… coffee!! Sin. Big sin. Drink it and you'll be sorry when you meet Jesus!]

"He is a preacher of righteousness."

["Let's go shopping!" Preach it, Tommy!]

"On occasion, prophets may be inspired to foretell the future for the benefit of mankind."

[But don't hold us to any of it. And don't record us! We might be speaking as men but we'll never admit it.]

"His primary responsibility, however, is to bear witness of Christ."

['Cuz that's sooooooo hard, it's like no one else on earth is even capable of doing that. It's SUPER hard. Don't try it at home, leave it to the pros.]

"The President of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is God’s prophet on earth today."

['Cuz we say so, and we can't lead you astray. Believe us.]

"Members of the First Presidency and the Twelve Apostles are sustained as prophets, seers, and revelators."

[As Gordo said on national TV, we're SUSTAINED as such. Obey us!]

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