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Posted by: perceptual ( )
Date: April 23, 2018 08:48PM

I'm trying to remember something I heard when I was a kid... that there were signs that the apocalypse was imminent after people were having public sex in the street or prophets were shot in the street and left for 3 days or something...

I'm not really finding anything yet... can someone clear this up?

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Posted by: ificouldhietokolob ( )
Date: April 23, 2018 08:55PM

The "prophets in the street" thing comes from Revelation:

https://www.lds.org/scriptures/nt/rev/11?lang=eng

...and it's 3 1/2 days (let's be specific about our nonsense!), then they'll be resurrected. It's also not supposed to rain during their time of "prophecy." So any day that rains, you can be confident that none of this has happened yet! :)

I don't recall one about public sex. Since that's pretty much been happening somewhere as long as there have been humans, it's not very "prophetic."

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Posted by: BYU Boner ( )
Date: April 23, 2018 10:42PM

The OP may be thinking of a popular prophesy that Salt Lake City would become one of the wickedest place on earth during the end times.

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Posted by: [|] ( )
Date: April 23, 2018 08:57PM

Yes, Mormonism teaches that 2 prophets will lie dead in the streets of Jerusalem after Armageddon.


https://www.lds.org/manual/old-testament-student-manual-kings-malachi/enrichment-i?lang=eng

See sections (I-6) and (I-7)

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Posted by: not logged in ( )
Date: April 23, 2018 10:37PM

Bruce R. McConkie, Doctrinal New Testament Commentary, Vol. 3, pp. 510-11:

"As a prelude to being gathered into the true fold of Christ and of receiving again a knowledge of their Messiah and King, the Jews are now returning to Jerusalem and their ancient homeland. 'The two witnesses' here described 'are two prophets that are to be raised up to the Jewish nation in the last days, at the time of the restoration, and to prophesy to the Jews after they are gathered and have built the city of Jerusalem in the land of their fathers.' (D&C 77:15)

"Two witnesses] 'In the mouth of two or three witnesses shall every word be established.' (2 Cor. 13:1.) Such is God's eternal law. And these two shall be followers of that humble man, Joseph Smith, through whom the Lord of Heaven restored the fulness of his everlasting gospel in this final dispensation of grace. No doubt they will be members of the Council of the Twelve or of the First Presidency of the Church. Their prophetic ministry to rebellious Jewry shall be the same in length as was our Lord's personal ministry among their rebellious forebears."


Joseph Smith, that humble man.

These clowns travel in armored cars – so courageous – and don't even have the cojones to answer questions not cleared in advance. And they expect rational people to believe that they're willing to be killed in the street? (TBMs aren't rational so they don't count.)

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Posted by: Haeckel ( )
Date: April 23, 2018 10:53PM

sex in the streets? The lard would have come again every damn day if he had been paying attention to NYC circa 1974. So much for prophecy.

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Posted by: Anonymouse0 ( )
Date: April 24, 2018 11:28AM

I've never heard that prophecy, but obviously if a mormon leader said that they would have been talking about a hypothetical future where sex in public is common, considered acceptable (or even good), done on the street in the middle of the day with children around, etc. A scenario where someone would be considered a bigot if they criticised public sex.

At the moment it's rare, it's mostly a fetish that exhibitionists have, is illegal in most places, and the people who do take the risk and do it usually do it at night where they are unlikely to be caught.

We're nowhere near this stage yet. We're at the stage where simulated sex in film and TV is acceptable (even most Republicans accept it now, they elected a First Lady who has posed naked in magazines for example), but we're still a LONG way off sex in public becoming normal.

Obviously that's what the prophecy would have meant.

I don't care anyway. The church isn't true. But Joseph Smith probably had sex in public at some point given what we know about his sexual appetite. I don't think any church leader would make a prophecy that the second coming would happen after just ONE case of public sex...

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Posted by: Dave the Atheist ( )
Date: April 23, 2018 11:53PM

I'm afraid there will be sex in the streets and I will not be included.

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Posted by: StillAnon ( )
Date: April 24, 2018 12:08AM

Step up and start tonight. You could start the end of days. Be a leader.

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Posted by: ificouldhietokolob ( )
Date: April 24, 2018 09:28AM

I've tried sex in the vagina and some other orifices (orifi?).
Never tried sex in the streets.
Does google maps give directions?

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Posted by: quatermass2 ( )
Date: April 24, 2018 05:31PM

ificouldhietokolob Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I've tried sex in the vagina and some other

But you're meant to try it with members of the same species as yourself :-)

(sorry ... I should be ashamed of myself, I know, but I just *couldn't* resist it :-) )

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Posted by: quatermass2 ( )
Date: April 24, 2018 05:34PM


Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 04/24/2018 05:35PM by quatermass2.

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Posted by: ificouldhietokolob ( )
Date: April 24, 2018 09:10PM

quatermass2 Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> But you're meant to try it with members of the
> same species as yourself :-)

Ah, that's the problem. Thanks! :)

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Posted by: Razortooth ( )
Date: April 24, 2018 10:53AM

Of course there would be death with sex in the streets. You'd get run over. Better move it to the sidewalk. Though you're still in danger of chafing from the concrete. Jesus! Can't you just get a room anymore?

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Posted by: slskipper ( )
Date: April 24, 2018 04:07PM

And as Orson Card pointed out in his Mormon dictionary (I could look it up, but I'm too tired right now), part of understanding Mormonism is realizing that *every* Mormon boy grows up thinking that he just might be one of those "prophets".

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Posted by: Shinehah ( )
Date: April 24, 2018 04:19PM

Don't forget, two Mormon "prophets" recently skipped out of Jerusalem when things got only a bit tense there. Apparently didn't want to be the ones to lay in the street for three days

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Posted by: Chicken N. Backpacks ( )
Date: April 24, 2018 04:24PM

"Human sacrifice, cats and dogs living together--mass hysteria."

---- Dr. Peter Venkman

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Posted by: quatermass2 ( )
Date: April 24, 2018 05:39PM

Chicken N. Backpacks Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> "Human sacrifice, cats and dogs living
> together--mass hysteria."

But on the plus side, it did mean he got up close and personal with Dana Barrett, as portrayed by the unbelievably gorgeous Sigourney Weaver.

He drew a paycheque for doing it, too. There really is no justice in this world

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Posted by: quatermass2 ( )
Date: April 24, 2018 05:35PM

Sex in the streets?

Heck, that's a description of Saturday and Sunday mornings around 02:00 am in most British cities these days!

Revelations didn't mention the fights for taxis, the mass sales of kebabs or the public vomiting though.

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