This is what i am starting to think.

Well, not *anything*...

But I get the point. And agree :)

ificouldhietokolob Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Well, not *anything*...
>
> But I get the point. And agree :)

Anything in real life that is encountered couldn't possibly be worse than being stuck in that operation and being basically brain-dead and controlled and being in a mindscrew constantly with guilt trips and endless shame and gossip. I am getting anxiety just thinking about being stuck in that environment. If anybody remembers how bad it was its me. I think i could help someone recover from the worst position, telling them exactly who to see, what to watch on the internet for therapy everyday. I am not recovered by any means but i think i could save someone's life for real that is caught and trapped in fear of that operation, maybe. I will never tell anyone that it is easy because it isn't. Its not like telling poor people to pay tithing and you'll be alright. A quick fix type of thing. The quick fix mindset is a religion thing put into my head and was put into other people's heads.

>> "Anything in real life that is encountered couldn't possibly be worse than being stuck in that operation and being basically brain-dead and controlled and being in a mindscrew constantly with guilt trips and endless shame and gossip. I am getting anxiety just thinking about being stuck in that environment."

You're being naive.

Marriage can be like you described too. Worse in my opinion and experience. It's far easier to walk away from a church than a spouse, kids, home, etc....and you can lose everything when you leave. When you leave the church, you get a 10% raise if not more.

There are many things in life far worse than mormonism.

Jonny the Smoke Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> >> "Anything in real life that is encountered
> couldn't possibly be worse than being stuck in
> that operation and being basically brain-dead and
> controlled and being in a mindscrew constantly
> with guilt trips and endless shame and gossip. I
> am getting anxiety just thinking about being stuck
> in that environment."
>
> You're being naive.
>
> Marriage can be like you described too. Worse in
> my opinion and experience. It's far easier to
> walk away from a church than a spouse, kids, home,
> etc....and you can lose everything when you leave.
> When you leave the church, you get a 10% raise if
> not more.
>
> There are many things in life far worse than
> mormonism.

Never been married so maybe i am naive.

Not "maybe"... you ARE naïve, along with a persecution complex. You complain a lot about how incredibly worse you life has been than anybody EVER in the world has had!

You really don't give details, though - do you?

You appear to be well fed, so you have never starved. You appear to have a place to live, so you are not homeless. You have electricity, clean water, and the means of sanitation. You have medical care, mental health care (hopefully), and are relatively safe.

These are "real Life" things that millions upon millions of people in the world who truly do suffer through, and don't survive. The Mormon church didn't inflict any such thing on to you. You have really not "suffered" at all.

Get over yourself.

PollyDee Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Not "maybe"... you ARE naïve, along with a
> persecution complex. You complain a lot about how
> incredibly worse you life has been than anybody
> EVER in the world has had!
>
> You really don't give details, though - do you?
>
> You appear to be well fed, so you have never
> starved. You appear to have a place to live, so
> you are not homeless. You have electricity, clean
> water, and the means of sanitation. You have
> medical care, mental health care (hopefully), and
> are relatively safe.
>
> These are "real Life" things that millions upon
> millions of people in the world who truly do
> suffer through, and don't survive. The Mormon
> church didn't inflict any such thing on to you.
> You have really not "suffered" at all.
>
> Get over yourself.

I lived in a psych ward for six months without any doctor knowing how to fix me i had no soul a totally disconnected person. I had 8 or 9 surgeries in a row and still going. I have been trying to overcome ptsd for the last 5 years. I had an attempted murder on my life as a kid. I was beat by my parents sometimes breaking plates over my head. Was born in a cult and thought it was the real church. Was diagnosed with at least 5 different mental illnesses in my life. Was in a major car accident that i am still paying for physically. Was addicted to cigarettes for six years. Committed suicide 5 times but they didn't take. Battled chronic pain for 13 years. I've been through more than everyone combined and every doctor that witnessed me five years ago knows it. I have been living on credit cards that is why i am not starving right now. And i don't let nobodies affect me everyday like yourself. The bard said this site would help me recover faster and he was correct. I never wanted to recover but my friend wanted me to. I don't do this for anyone but him because he was a somebody that went through hard things not some internet nobody.

The cigarette addiction was of your own choice and making. Any other drug addictions are also problems of your own choice and making.

The 5 different mental illnesses may explain the 5 attempted suicides. What are the five mental illnesses have you been diagnosed with?

What, exactly, was the cause of the car accident? Were you at fault? Are the surgeries a result of the car accident? And what, exactly. are the eight or nine (you can't seem to recall how many) surgeries you have had?

You alluded to the so called attempted murder episode in an earlier post, but again, no details, or is it an imagined event?

The Mormon church did not cause your car accident, nor is it responsible for your physical pain and multiple surgeries, nor is it responsible for the attempted murder, nor is it responsible for your parents' abuse, and it is not likely responsible for your five mental illnesses or attempted suicides.

And NO, you have NOT "been through more than everyone combined"

It's this persistent and insidious hyperbole that spews out of your mouth that completely discredits you.

PollyDee Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> The cigarette addiction was of your own choice and
> making. Any other drug addictions are also
> problems of your own choice and making.
>
> The 5 different mental illnesses may explain the 5
> attempted suicides. What are the five mental
> illnesses have you been diagnosed with?
>
> What, exactly, was the cause of the car accident?
> Were you at fault? Are the surgeries a result of
> the car accident? And what, exactly. are the eight
> or nine (you can't seem to recall how many)
> surgeries you have had?
>
> You alluded to the so called attempted murder
> episode in an earlier post, but again, no details,
> or is it an imagined event?
>
> The Mormon church did not cause your car accident,
> nor is it responsible for your physical pain and
> multiple surgeries, nor is it responsible for the
> attempted murder, nor is it responsible for your
> parents' abuse, and it is not likely responsible
> for your five mental illnesses or attempted
> suicides.
>
> And NO, you have NOT "been through more than
> everyone combined"
>
> It's this persistent and insidious hyperbole that
> spews out of your mouth that completely discredits
> you.

I don't have to explain anything to you. It happened and i know you don't understand anything. You're just an internet person that will heckle. I'm not even sure if i am going to recover totally because i haven't yet so i don't care about you or what you say you know nothing. People that get told that they have gone through nothing and they are nobodies in this world get offended the most so i get it. I'm a nobody too. It's ok to have had an easy go in this life, most have and still are, otherwise why rip me apart? I have to get another surgery on a bone spur on my throat in two weeks you can come with me if you want. It's fun to repair from your past and remember events. It's great time to have a scout leader try to choke you to death. Love these flashbacks. Man, god is great guy. Servant of the church tries to kill me right in front of a mormon church. So awesome i had a great life after that. So who choked you? Anybody? Didn't think so.

Your typical obfuscation and deflection.

I meant things like crashing into walls at 80MPH, or having a 2-ton rock fall on you, or ingesting poison, or...
Well, you get it. Those are real things that really happen, and they're mostly not survivable. Whether you survived mormonism or not :)

ificouldhietokolob Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I meant things like crashing into walls at 80MPH,
> or having a 2-ton rock fall on you, or ingesting
> poison, or...
> Well, you get it. Those are real things that
> really happen, and they're mostly not survivable.
> Whether you survived mormonism or not :)

Always factual that's why i like you hie. No bs gold plate talk with you.

I was naive enough to believe that if I walked away from Mormonism, God was going to cause all kinds of bad things to happen to me. I remember reading an old Mormon book where Joseph Smith had been quoted as saying that horrible things were going to happen to those who apostatized from his religion(I didn't know then about the Danites). In newer LDS literature, I remember stories of people who left the church who became alcoholics, drug addicts, homeless, marriages failing, businesses going under, ending up in jail, kids turning against them, and other misfortunes. I wanted to leave and try other churches, but I was afraid. I feel stupid nowadays that I had allowed myself to be intimidated.

Josephina Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I was naive enough to believe that if I walked
> away from Mormonism, God was going to cause all
> kinds of bad things to happen to me. I remember
> reading an old Mormon book where Joseph Smith had
> been quoted as saying that horrible things were
> going to happen to those who apostatized from his
> religion(I didn't know then about the Danites). In
> newer LDS literature, I remember stories of people
> who left the church who became alcoholics, drug
> addicts, homeless, marriages failing, businesses
> going under, ending up in jail, kids turning
> against them, and other misfortunes. I wanted to
> leave and try other churches, but I was afraid. I
> feel stupid nowadays that I had allowed myself to
> be intimidated.

Their god did intimidate me as well thinking he was targeting me for any little thing that happened after i left. The mind games continue even after you leave with the fear and trepidation.

If you can survive the school of hard knocks, you can survive anything.

Although being a morman sucks the big one it in no way

compares to surviving things like the holocaust, or being

hand cuffed to your bed and living on scraps of food your

parents give you like those 13 malnourished and starving

children whos story was recently on the news. There are

many stories like that and many other horrid things that

people have survived so comparing surviving mormonism enables

you to survive anything is a giant load of crap which is

indicative of a person who feels hugely sorry for himself.

Put on your big boy shoes and get over it. As long as you

think of yourself as a poor pitiful victim of anything you

will never become anything else but that.

saucie Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Although being a morman sucks the big one it in no
> way
>
> compares to surviving things like the holocaust,
> or being
>
> hand cuffed to your bed and living on scraps of
> food your
>
> parents give you like those 13 malnourished and
> starving
>
> children whos story was recently on the news.
> There are
>
> many stories like that and many other horrid
> things that
>
> people have survived so comparing surviving
> mormonism enables
>
> you to survive anything is a giant load of crap
> which is
>
> indicative of a person who feels hugely sorry for
> himself.
>
> Put on your big boy shoes and get over it. As long
> as you
>
> think of yourself as a poor pitiful victim of
> anything you
>
> will never become anything else but that.

F-ck off i am in pain i don't feel sorry for myself. If i said to a disabled person that they felt sorry for themselves to their face i would hate myself forever probably.

Sorry saucie i didn't know who i was responding to i just responded. Don't tell old dog i didn't mean it crap.

You wrote a good post the other day, BAA, listing a few things you have learned from posting on the board. I thought that was going in the right direction. You also said earlier that you "over-generalize". They say that half the battle is recognizing the problem. When you say things like "there's nobody good here", "everybody's got it better than me", etc, it's counterproductive for you as it tends to push people away who have, from the day you first came here, tried to help you. I note from way back that most people here, no matter how much pain they are in themselves, reach out to connect with others. It's one of the best aspects of the board and it's heart-warming to see.

I said yesterday that gaining perspective, maybe trying to see things differently, can assist with self-help endeavours. If you remember that comment you made about over-generalizing that could be quite helpful to you. Instead of saying "everybody" is this, that or the other (all bad), maybe simply say "many" or "some" people seem to be - this, that or the other - in life, not just this board. That leaves room for the exceptions to be noted and has the benefits of being more realistic and not so negative rather than thinking the world is full of darkness and selfishness and worthless people - a hopeless outlook that is bound to be depressing as hell.

If I may be Canada-centric for a moment - I have posted about two recent tragedies in my country. The first was a bus accident that wiped out half a youth hockey team a couple of weeks ago. They just got done with the last funeral a few days ago. As well as many young players, the coach, the assistant coach and the team trainer were also killed. One promising athlete is paralyzed. He has a long uphill battle ahead. Quite a change for him at such a promising time in his life, and so many challenges ahead. He's vowing, though, to walk again and is already hard at work trying to reach that goal.

The second was a van vs pedestrian attack a few days ago, when 10 people were killed and 15+ were injured, several still in critical condition.

In the bus accident, parents lost their teenage sons, wives lost young husbands, sibs lost a brother, a family lost the young female trainer. In the van attack, families are devastated at having their worst fears confirmed in just the last day, as it took time to make IDs. Other families are travelling from foreign countries to ID and claim their deceased loved one who should have been safe from deliberate harm in this generally mild country. That would be the trip from hell for parents.

First responders and hospital staff as well as civilian witnesses to horror are struggling to cope with the sights they will never unsee and sounds they can't unhear as well as the grief on a massive scale they see, hear and try to relieve, as well as that they feel as well.

Those are worst case scenarios for a large number of family, friends, citizens, professionals at work. Yeah, other people, plenty, too many, have it rough. Life hurts. Not our choice but we don't determine our entire course. Some things we control, many we cannot.

I don't think it is possible to quantify who feels how much grief or whose problem is the worst. It is likely not all that helpful to compare somebody else's lot to our own or to conclude that we are worse off than everybody else. That outlook interferes with the wider perspective I referred to earlier - that viewpoint that allows us to achieve and maintain a more accurate perception of reality.

When I first came to the board, as a so-called convert who stayed in for three (long) years, I felt like a second-class citizen because my issues with Mormonism didn't seem legitimate compared to those of BICs. First, it was "only" three years. Second, I had a life before and after completely apart from Mormonism. But initially I was hurting over the many negative experiences I had had and the feelings they evoked. It wasn't too helpful for people to say converts are stupid and no matter what happened to them in Mormonism it was their own fault and/or it wouldn't have been that bad or hurt that much.

You have said it helps you to talk out here how you're feeling. A lot of us can identify with that. Reacting strongly and negatively to the comments of others can use up energy you need to help yourself to solve problems and strive to get positive.

As I said before, I have noticed that you have received a lot of input from many well-meaning people here. But not too many people want to get their heads bitten off when they are trying to help. Even though you say that nobody is any good except for one or two people you've connected with and even though you criticize a free board that provides you with a great opportunity to vent and chat and discuss your experiences and situation, I think you'd miss it if you write stuff and only silence comes back at you.

One thing that many exmos have learned is to change direction when something's not working for them. Maybe to make up for all the years they stuck with Mormonism for whatever reasons (with which many of us are familiar; for me it was the mistaken belief that I had to honour my commitments. That way madness lies if things are going badly wrong, especially if the commitment is not honourable to start with). And so if it's a negative for them to try to talk to you many may choose to quit responding to your posts. Again, I think you would miss the input. You likely wouldn't realize that ahead of time and may regret that outcome.

I have read some of your accounts about your upbringing in Mormonism. Many exmos through the years have discussed similar experiences. So you're not the only one. Many know pretty well where you are coming from. You may regret it if you shut them out. Group discussion like this can be amazingly beneficial. But nobody likes to be told off or not appreciated. You included, I'd guess.

Just saying. Now, gotta run...



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 04/28/2018 12:05AM by Nightingale.

You are truly a treasure, Nighty. I'm afraid that your advice is too nuanced for the situation. But you are such a mensch for trying.

Nightingale Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> You wrote a good post the other day, BAA, listing
> a few things you have learned from posting on the
> board. I thought that was going in the right
> direction. You also said earlier that you
> "over-generalize". They say that half the battle
> is recognizing the problem. When you say things
> like "there's nobody good here", "everybody's got
> it better than me", etc, it's counterproductive
> for you as it tends to push people away who have,
> from the day you first came here, tried to help
> you. I note from way back that most people here,
> no matter how much pain they are in themselves,
> reach out to connect with others. It's one of the
> best aspects of the board and it's heart-warming
> to see.
>
> I said yesterday that gaining perspective, maybe
> trying to see things differently, can assist with
> self-help endeavours. If you remember that comment
> you made about over-generalizing that could be
> quite helpful to you. Instead of saying
> "everybody" is this, that or the other (all bad),
> maybe simply say "many" or "some" people seem to
> be - this, that or the other - in life, not just
> this board. That leaves room for the exceptions to
> be noted and has the benefits of being more
> realistic and not so negative rather than thinking
> the world is full of darkness and selfishness and
> worthless people - a hopeless outlook that is
> bound to be depressing as hell.
>
> If I may be Canada-centric for a moment - I have
> posted about two recent tragedies in my country.
> The first was a bus accident that wiped out half a
> youth hockey team a couple of weeks ago. They just
> got done with the last funeral a few days ago. As
> well as many young players, the coach, the
> assistant coach and the team trainer were also
> killed. One promising athlete is paralyzed. He has
> a long uphill battle ahead. Quite a change for him
> at such a promising time in his life, and so many
> challenges ahead. He's vowing, though, to walk
> again and is already hard at work trying to reach
> that goal.
>
> The second was a van vs pedestrian attack a few
> days ago, when 10 people were killed and 15+ were
> injured, several still in critical condition.
>
> In the bus accident, parents lost their teenage
> sons, wives lost young husbands, sibs lost a
> brother, a family lost the young female trainer.
> In the van attack, families are devastated at
> having their worst fears confirmed in just the
> last day, as it took time to make IDs. Other
> families are travelling from foreign countries to
> ID and claim their deceased loved one who should
> have been safe from deliberate harm in this
> generally mild country. That would be the trip
> from hell for parents.
>
> First responders and hospital staff as well as
> civilian witnesses to horror are struggling to
> cope with the sights they will never unsee and
> sounds they can't unhear as well as the grief on a
> massive scale they see, hear and try to relieve,
> as well as that they feel as well.
>
> Those are worst case scenarios for a large number
> of family, friends, citizens, professionals at
> work. Yeah, other people, plenty, too many, have
> it rough. Life hurts. Not our choice but we don't
> determine our entire course. Some things we
> control, many we cannot.
>
> I don't think it is possible to quantify who feels
> how much grief or whose problem is the worst. It
> is likely not all that helpful to compare somebody
> else's lot to our own or to conclude that we are
> worse off than everybody else. That outlook
> interferes with the wider perspective I referred
> to earlier - that viewpoint that allows us to
> achieve and maintain a more accurate perception of
> reality.
>
> When I first came to the board, as a so-called
> convert who stayed in for three (long) years, I
> felt like a second-class citizen because my issues
> with Mormonism didn't seem legitimate compared to
> those of BICs. First, it was "only" three years.
> Second, I had a life before and after completely
> apart from Mormonism. But initially I was hurting
> over the many negative experiences I had had and
> the feelings they evoked. It wasn't too helpful
> for people to say converts are stupid and no
> matter what happened to them in Mormonism it was
> their own fault and/or it wouldn't have been that
> bad or hurt that much.
>
> You have said it helps you to talk out here how
> you're feeling. A lot of us can identify with
> that. Reacting strongly and negatively to the
> comments of others can use up energy you need to
> help yourself to solve problems and strive to get
> positive.
>
> As I said before, I have noticed that you have
> received a lot of input from many well-meaning
> people here. But not too many people want to get
> their heads bitten off when they are trying to
> help. Even though you say that nobody is any good
> except for one or two people you've connected with
> and even though you criticize a free board that
> provides you with a great opportunity to vent and
> chat and discuss your experiences and situation, I
> think you'd miss it if you write stuff and only
> silence comes back at you.
>
> One thing that many exmos have learned is to
> change direction when something's not working for
> them. Maybe to make up for all the years they
> stuck with Mormonism for whatever reasons (with
> which many of us are familiar; for me it was the
> mistaken belief that I had to honour my
> commitments. That way madness lies if things are
> going badly wrong, especially if the commitment is
> not honourable to start with). And so if it's a
> negative for them to try to talk to you many may
> choose to quit responding to your posts. Again, I
> think you would miss the input. You likely
> wouldn't realize that ahead of time and may regret
> that outcome.
>
> I have read some of your accounts about your
> upbringing in Mormonism. Many exmos through the
> years have discussed similar experiences. So
> you're not the only one. Many know pretty well
> where you are coming from. You may regret it if
> you shut them out. Group discussion like this can
> be amazingly beneficial. But nobody likes to be
> told off or not appreciated. You included, I'd
> guess.
>
> Just saying. Now, gotta run...

I know what you mean about honoring a commitment. Before i found out about the secret handshakes i was incredibly loyal to the religion thinking god was going to help me get healthy again but i got worse. I still honoured my commitment until the calling was finished when i should have been focusing totally on my health. I still am partly programmed that god is going to come through for me because i followed through on my commitments to the religion but i am starting to understand i was taken advantage of again with the whole commitment thing. I too have a goal of getting my body to feel normal again without pain and minimal psychological troubles. I was once kind of normal before certain things happened in my life and i want to return to that normallity i once had. Even though i am not paralyzed i have felt paralyzed in a way. Mentally or emotionally paralyzed or something. Appreciate the post i did read it all and took it all in. I do overgeneralize when things are not going my way and i am not healing as fast as i think i should. In the end i do want to be really healthy its just a longer journey than i thought it would be and i had more issues than i thought i did.

Reading this was moving for me. Thank you.

Adam: Think of, this too will pass whenever you get nasty comments from some posters. They were not directed at me, but yet, I found them cruel and mean. Isn't that the consequences of being in the cult? Jesus ignored Herod and even called him a fox. Some mean folks are like foxes. I think you have a ton of courage because you left the cult and have been trying to rebuild your life. There are many good, healthy and happy days and years ahead of you. Please keep posting. I appreciate your thoughtful comments. Feel better and good luck with your surgery.

unbelievable2 Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Adam: Think of, this too will pass whenever you
> get nasty comments from some posters. They were
> not directed at me, but yet, I found them cruel
> and mean. Isn't that the consequences of being in
> the cult? Jesus ignored Herod and even called him
> a fox. Some mean folks are like foxes. I think you
> have a ton of courage because you left the cult
> and have been trying to rebuild your life. There
> are many good, healthy and happy days and years
> ahead of you. Please keep posting. I appreciate
> your thoughtful comments. Feel better and good
> luck with your surgery.

I am planning as if i am going to live 50 more years taking care of every health issue all right now and getting them out of the way. I have been to the low places on this earth and i do not want to go back if i can help it. I know what kind of sent me down that destructive road and i am trying to do things right this time with professional help and forgetting all that religious fantasy stuff that messed with my thoughts. It's a rough road out of total religion at least for me it is. It controlled me more than anything so i had to leave. Nobody talks about how hard it is really past the initial leaving in my opinion. Its a mindscrew that never wants to let go. Even after the first six months it is still difficult to get your head screwed on straight. It's like leaving something that is worse than a drug in my opinion. Hardest thing i have ever tried to do bar none, becoming a normal human after leaving a cult and all its crazy teachings behind.

Adam - unbelievable2's post above has pinged my conscience. Perhaps I have been too harsh in my comments towards you, and I'm sure that they came across as cruel - for that I deeply apologize.

Please know that I am not trying to drive you away from the board. I feel that there are several people here who can, and have, connected with you, and that you have developed a good rapport and friendship with. We each are truly lucky, indeed, to have even one good friend through life. And, here, on this board, you have found many.

I have read a good number of your posts over the year, or so, that you have been here, and have only recently been "triggered" (my pstd kicking in) by some of your hurtful comments to those who are trying to reach out to you, support you, and help all they can. Giving in to my anger, and striking out, is something I struggle with. That shouldn't be yet another burden heaped on you. Again, I deeply apologize.

Like unbelievable2, and several others, I hope you continue to participate here and find the support and friendship you need as you heal both physically, and spiritually.

My best to you,

PollyDee

PollyDee Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Adam - unbelievable2's post above has pinged my
> conscience. Perhaps I have been too harsh in my
> comments towards you, and I'm sure that they came
> across as cruel - for that I deeply apologize.
>
> Please know that I am not trying to drive you away
> from the board. I feel that there are several
> people here who can, and have, connected with you,
> and that you have developed a good rapport and
> friendship with. We each are truly lucky, indeed,
> to have even one good friend through life. And,
> here, on this board, you have found many.
>
> I have read a good number of your posts over the
> year, or so, that you have been here, and have
> only recently been "triggered" (my pstd kicking
> in) by some of your hurtful comments to those who
> are trying to reach out to you, support you, and
> help all they can. Giving in to my anger, and
> striking out, is something I struggle with. That
> shouldn't be yet another burden heaped on you.
> Again, I deeply apologize.
>
> Like unbelievable2, and several others, I hope you
> continue to participate here and find the support
> and friendship you need as you heal both
> physically, and spiritually.
>
> My best to you,
>
> PollyDee

I don't really mean to hurt anyone. If i was a little more normal or a little more healthy i would not lash out at anybody or vent in the first place. I have been triggered a lot more than normal because i am actually fixing a physical problem caused by abuse and i have never done this head on before. Most of my injuries are from something else in life but this one is different. I have ptsd pretty bad still even when i think i am ok. I am kind of saddened by some of the things i say and then i realize it later what i really said. I am frustrated that i can not heal myself quickly to be a normal person or something. I want to but i can only go at a certain pace i guess. I am trying to see where others are coming from when i was playing cards tonight. I still don't feel like a totally real person but i have improved for sure i think when being around people physically i am a little more social face to face than i used to be. And i really do feel sick right now with a flu or something. I feel like people want me to fit into a certain mold on here but i just can't do it. I don't follow mormonism to report news on it i only have my experiencing being surrounded by it most of my life, i know how it can destroy a human being totally where they can barely function and not even feel human anymore. I just hope i can recover from everything in the end and be a normal dude with a personality.

Self serving, manipulative response. He hates and abuses us but we should feel sorry for him.