It actually does the opposite and makes it harder to last in the real world or become a part of it. This is why people think the devil is attacking them when they leave the religion and go back to the cult drug. No, your mind is trying to function properly and it is going haywire being exposed to reality IMO. It's like trying to get off a really strong drug but worse. Would you think the devil is attacking you if you were feeling withdrawals? Anyways just my opinion on why people go back, the brain is used to the cult drug and it will start to jones for it after leaving. I don't know, i think about these things. I think i want to study cults and get children out of cults somehow before they take their lives. My worst nightmare is there are more out there afraid of their religion and parents and are destroying themselves on purpose like the badass did because they thought there was no other option.

You're dead on, Badass! Mormonism prepares its members to only love and appreciate people who look, think, act, and believe exactly like them. That’s awful, and it’s a terrible way to live.

One of the joys of my current life is I have friends from all over the spectrum with a variety of backgrounds, identities, and beliefs. What we share is our authentic humanity. We laugh, hug, worry, and care about each other.

The Mormon world view is so limited in scope that even the people you share worship are assigned through your designated ward. That’s pretty weird! The Living Boner.

BYU Boner Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> You're dead on, Badass! Mormonism prepares its
> members to only love and appreciate people who
> look, think, act, and believe exactly like them.
> That’s awful, and it’s a terrible way to
> live.
>
> One of the joys of my current life is I have
> friends from all over the spectrum with a variety
> of backgrounds, identities, and beliefs. What we
> share is our authentic humanity. We laugh, hug,
> worry, and care about each other.
>
> The Mormon world view is so limited in scope that
> even the people you share worship are assigned
> through your designated ward. That’s pretty
> weird! The Living Boner.

It definitely taught me to not like anyone that is different from their mold. But i am different from their mold otherwise i would not be here.

You've hit this nail on the head. And it's a cyclical thing. You're not prepared for the real world and you are unable to prepare your children. Post mormon life has not been easy on either me or my children. Yet, I look at the next generation, my grandchildren, and trust me, they are heads and tails ahead of their ancestors when it comes to being people who will thrive and make a difference for good in the world. So I am extremely happy to have been the one who broke the chain.

NormaRae Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> You've hit this nail on the head. And it's a
> cyclical thing. You're not prepared for the real
> world and you are unable to prepare your children.
> Post mormon life has not been easy on either me or
> my children. Yet, I look at the next generation,
> my grandchildren, and trust me, they are heads and
> tails ahead of their ancestors when it comes to
> being people who will thrive and make a difference
> for good in the world. So I am extremely happy to
> have been the one who broke the chain.

I definitely want to be the one that breaks the chain for good. I think i am the only one in my entire extended family that took it into his own hands and resigned. It's not easy to take on the real world after being in that controlling operation. I know one thing, if i have kids they will not be indoctrinated or brainwashed in any way. I don't want them to go through what i went through on any level whatsoever. Healthy and free minds is what i want them to have all the way down to when i am a grandfather haha now that is a crazy thought.

It taught me to be honest, work hard, fear God, and to obey the commandments.

Maybe in the real world that wasn't the best preparation. But it didn't really hinder me all that much once I was able to extract the good teachings from what makes it a cult.

I learned how to pray. Believe in miracles. And have hope. Those are good takeaways. If not for its down side of being a cult I might still be Mormon. Cannot reconcile the good with the bad.

But my upbringing in Mormonism did prepare me for life.

You can't blame everything on having been a Mormon. At some point you need to take responsibility for yourself.

Amyjo Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> It taught me to be honest, work hard, fear God,
> and to obey the commandments.
>
> Maybe in the real world that wasn't the best
> preparation. But it didn't really hinder me all
> that much once I was able to extract the good
> teachings from what makes it a cult.
>
> I learned how to pray. Believe in miracles. And
> have hope. Those are good takeaways. If not for
> its down side of being a cult I might still be
> Mormon. Cannot reconcile the good with the bad.
>
> But my upbringing in Mormonism did prepare me for
> life.
>
> You can't blame everything on having been a
> Mormon. At some point you need to take
> responsibility for yourself.

I do and that's why i have gotten surgeries for three years straight. If i had given up i would be in an oppression of a religion or in a cemetary. I am doing what god should have done, get me out of a cult and repairing my body piece by piece by piece by piece. I am taking the responsibility for god's neglect. Does that make me better than god? Probably. Surgery and therapy is awesome let me tell you. I deserve to tare that whole operation down and take god down with it. And that would be the responsible thing to do. No more brainwashing, no more mind control, no more anything, no more guilt trips, no more blaming the victims. Would people end their lives without their religion, absolutely. And they will know how it feels. And i will be there to tell them to take responsibility and stay alive. I will tell you to take responsibility for your god's neglect. Could you survive without judaism? Nope. Take responsibility Amyjo. All you did was religion hop. That's not taking responsibility at all but hiding in another organization. I go to therapy every week, i don't religion hop. Take responsibility for your god's neglect. And get out of fairytale land. It's not easy. I know very well god can not heal me and so i see professionals. The table will turn when i am healed and everyone else is oppressed and i will say two words 'take responsibility'. You were born in a cult? Take responsibility for that. You were abused under god's sight? Take responsibity for that. I will, i'll make god end his own life and see how it feels. It is the only way. God has to pay for his neglect of the badass. Sorry. That is what responsibility is. A father must pay for his neglect and i will be there when it happens, i promise you that, i will be there when the gods end themselves. And they have that responsibility. You always make me mad, god lover. God doesn't defend anybody. Once he goes you will have no purpose in life.

Sorry it just pisses me off that i am still fixing what others have done to me. I am taking RESPONSIBILITY for THEIR actions against me in this life. I just fixed a bone spur in my throat that i did not cause. I am fixing the mistakes of others not just my own. And i am paying for a so-called god's neglect. All the gods can burn in their fire for all i care and take responsibility. And i need to watch it happen. They watched me suffer so i get to watch all them suffer. It is balance or whatever you want to call it. There has to be payment for what happened to me in my younger days.

I wonder if some people fit in certain cultures and religious backgrounds come with the cultural fit. ? Or they had a dual culture all along and so they fit in one culture when they turn aside from the other. Even had a cradle or cultural over aching religion with parades or holidays or clothes for events or something which is bigger than them to enhance their life and embrace them when they turned away from the Mormon culture either they or their recent ancestor had converted into.

There was a statement made by someone that converted families sometimes don't experience the same thing as the raised in the church when they explore not agreeing with Mormonism. I think the speaker said sometimes they reference life from whatever good vantage point they had before they ever joined the church, or that that set of ideas had actually never left. I clearly see that with my spouse, who had a robust Diest / nature spirit X Catholicism regarding spirit or life before we met. I think he cruised through the temple simply turning off his hearing aide around stupid doctrine and then went inactive after a move.

So people are responsible in different ways. U I don't know how to share, culture, exactly, with, anyone. So (sigh) it looks like a different path for everyone.

That’s the best benediction I’ve read in a good long time.

Being mad at god is something that I've felt at times and abandoned, yes. For me what's worked is the reminder that it's a fallen world and there really is major inconsistencies and injustices because of that. I've stopped feeling much remorse for my dark tendencies and actions, life is too short and it's not really my fault... considering that humans are programmed to be Bad Asses.

The lesson I learned from Mormondom is Obedience, if you jump through the hoops all your fantasies will come true. But the trouble is none of the dreams came true and I'm really at base one. Mormondom should have taught me systematic ways of how to make informed life decisions, What constitutes human happiness, how to find emotional satisfaction, the importance of finding something I was good at early on in my lifes (work/profession). Instead I did too many years of just doing what I was told.

anono this week Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Being mad at god is something that I've felt at
> times and abandoned, yes. For me what's worked is
> the reminder that it's a fallen world and there
> really is major inconsistencies and injustices
> because of that. I've stopped feeling much remorse
> for my dark tendencies and actions, life is too
> short and it's not really my fault... considering
> that humans are programmed to be Bad Asses.
>
> The lesson I learned from Mormondom is Obedience,
> if you jump through the hoops all your fantasies
> will come true. But the trouble is none of the
> dreams came true and I'm really at base one.
> Mormondom should have taught me systematic ways of
> how to make informed life decisions, What
> constitutes human happiness, how to find emotional
> satisfaction, the importance of finding something
> I was good at early on in my lifes
> (work/profession). Instead I did too many years of
> just doing what I was told.

Way too many years doing what i was told. You are right about one thing, in the end we are all pretty bad. I am a bad dude but i would take a bullet for a good friend so maybe not all bad. So i think i am a better dude than god to actually want to defend somebody.

Do me a favor and don’t ever quit. Or if you do, let me kick your ass first like the scene in “An Officer and a Gentleman”. Well, me and Boner. Probably can’t take you myself.

I've paid my dues
Time after time
I've done my sentence
But committed no crime
And bad mistakes
I've made a few
I've had my share of sand kicked in my face
But I've come through

You’re writing your own story.

We obviously have different views, but LDS, Inc doesn't fess to its mistakes which leaves people hurting & fearing of imaginary, everlasting consequences for which there is Zero real-world evidence...

Abusers who find favor with the Morg leave a trail of hurting & broken lives.

There were some very negative lessons coming out from Mormonism.

But my point was it wasn't all negative. There were some positive takeaways. For many of my peers and myself, Mormonism made up our earliest, formative years including instruction and role models. We had some fine teachers and role models growing up.

It was a very family oriented church. We learned family values.

Learning the Golden Rule, how to be a good citizen, etc.

As for preparing people for life, many people were prepared for life having grown up LDS. What it messes with is our spirituality and inner life IMO, and false teachings based on Joseph's mythology and made up scripture.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 05/23/2018 08:33PM by Amyjo.

At its worst, mormonism prepares you to sit around and hope (and pray) for the best.

The thing is, this sometimes works out okay...

But a mission can teach (me) you that keeping a schedule, and actually trying, isn't all that bad a thing.

elderolddog Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> At its worst, mormonism prepares you to sit around
> and hope (and pray) for the best.
>
> The thing is, this sometimes works out okay...
>
> But a mission can teach (me) you that keeping a
> schedule, and actually trying, isn't all that bad
> a thing.

Teaching you to sit around and keep your mouth shut is what they do best.

Being a Mormon made me pretty goal oriented. I was the first in my [immediate] family to graduate from college. And I was the only girl. It instilled a work ethic in me.

Learned homemaking skills that I might not have learned elsewhere. Had some wonderful teachers both at church and school in the Morridor.

Despite its down and dark side, there were still some positive influences and benefits from having grown up LDS. It has taught me to be discerning in what I believe after rejecting the Joseph myth.

As for critical thinking skills? Did not learn that so much as a Mormon. That came later, in college and beyond. Maturity is what guided me out from TSCC eventually, and being able to think for myself. Although I was always analytical. My dad used to tell me not to over analyze things, and to be quiet to be a feminine prototype of the LDS woman. I just couldn't do the Stepford thing.

Being Mormon was part of my primary schooling and formative years growing up in the Morridor. If you can't derive some good from your upbringing, then I feel really sorry for you.

I learned a lot of skills growing up in the church. I even learned how to make grapejuice concentrate and canned it from bunches of grapes. I learned lots of needlework skills and learned to crochet. Having had lots of experiences in lots of different mediums led to my current career which is very precision oriented. I learned to be a kind and thoughful person and that everyone has problems and those can be overcome. I've made lifelong friends in the church and we left together. Our shared background is really a strong bond.

I don't miss the nonsense and the guilt and the busywork. And I always hated everything about the temple.

Exmos should get college credit for Abnormal Psychology. I’m sure I would have learned life skills as a Nazi Brownshirt. Sure, I could look on the bright side, but I can’t accept Mormon methods. An organization that’s built on a web of lies and is immune to self-correction has no business existing. The truth matters.

Babyloncansuckit Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Exmos should get college credit for Abnormal
> Psychology. I’m sure I would have learned life
> skills as a Nazi Brownshirt. Sure, I could look on
> the bright side, but I can’t accept Mormon
> methods. An organization that’s built on a web
> of lies and is immune to self-correction has no
> business existing. The truth matters.

We should get a medal for all we have been through. I would have done well in a nazi organization after being in that operation. Serving without question.

Although Mormonism doesn’t emotionally prepare you to be a fully functioning adult, I wouldn’t say it’s a waste. I sure wouldn’t recommend it to anyone. It’s like being voluntarily crippled. No thanks. But on the other side of the long journey of ex-mormondom is an immense sense of freedom. Isn’t that what we wanted? How do you get there but through the fires of Hell?

If you let someone else run your life, they’ll run it into the ground. That’s the takeaway I got.

Mormonism left a long trail of carnage in my family. I’m over it, but I’m sure not going to forget it. You see, deep-down, evil doesn’t want to be forgiven.

Mormonism gave me opportunity to meet lots of people. Now I'm working with people at my job I knew as a child and they have left the church and are quite bitter about it. And let me know, and what's funny is in the old days they were so righteous and all that, run by guilt, etc.

Badass, since I'm a nevermo,I can only hope that you'll read, and re-read Amyjo's last post. It is full of much wisdom in your particular situation, in my opinion. Your anger continues to come through, loud and clear, in your posts. Certainly, you say you are taking responsibility by fixing your physical issues but then again, even tho I've never been a Mormon, there is no responsibility that I am even able to undertake that would allow me to 'fix'the results of my stroke, like being confined to a wheelchair. When I read your posts, I get the feeling that you seem to believe you are the only person damaged by toccata. I would remind you that the vast majority of posters here are former members who have each been damaged by LDS, Inc. in their own way(s). Indeed, that is the reason this site was founded :)

cinda Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Badass, since I'm a nevermo,I can only hope that
> you'll read, and re-read Amyjo's last post. It is
> full of much wisdom in your particular situation,
> in my opinion. Your anger continues to come
> through, loud and clear, in your posts. Certainly,
> you say you are taking responsibility by fixing
> your physical issues but then again, even tho I've
> never been a Mormon, there is no responsibility
> that I am even able to undertake that would allow
> me to 'fix'the results of my stroke, like being
> confined to a wheelchair. When I read your posts,
> I get the feeling that you seem to believe you are
> the only person damaged by toccata. I would remind
> you that the vast majority of posters here are
> former members who have each been damaged by LDS,
> Inc. in their own way(s). Indeed, that is the
> reason this site was founded :)

I do forget and i am still damaged and i think everyone realizes that. I can't even fix myself without tons of professional help and i still have a ways to go. It takes a while to heal the mind from surviving insane strain in a lifetime. I just don't want to end up with a heart attack and needing to get open-heart surgery.

Blame is as big a sock puppet as God.

You don’t think we’re all damaged? That we won’t be getting crucial developmental years back like, ever? Maybe you can’t do everything, but you can do something. Life is all a bunch of somethings.

https://www.exmormon.org/phorum/read.php?2,777454,778592#msg-778592

The point of Mormonism is to isolate the members for purposes of separating them from their money, and they've gotten pretty good at it in 180+ years. It's natural that you'd have to spend some time experiencing and re-thinking your relationship to the world. You were taught to be afraid of it rather than how to get along in it.

I stopped participating nearly 40 years ago, and I still resent being told that so many things were bad, and that I was bad for doing things I now know are perfectly normal.

munchybotazv2 Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> https://www.exmormon.org/phorum/read.php?2,777454,
> 778592#msg-778592
>
> The point of Mormonism is to isolate the members
> for purposes of separating them from their money,
> and they've gotten pretty good at it in 180+
> years. It's natural that you'd have to spend some
> time experiencing and re-thinking your
> relationship to the world. You were taught to be
> afraid of it rather than how to get along in it.
>
> I stopped participating nearly 40 years ago, and I
> still resent being told that so many things were
> bad, and that I was bad for doing things I now
> know are perfectly normal.

Yes!! They isolate you totally from the world to suck the money and life right out of you. Yes!! you hit the nail right on the head.

I was prepared only for a Mormon life of dependency, same as my youngest sisters. I left, they didn't. Which of us exercised agency?

If what you mean is that Mormonism doesn't prepare you for a life outside Mormonism, of course it doesn't. It wouldn't be in the best interests of the church to prepare its members for life outside the church.

I'm not suggesting that Mormonism is in any way acting in the best interests of its members. It is, however, attempting self-perpetuation.