I think I may be starting to have another nervous breakdown (not a clinical term, but whatever).

Asking for advice as I know a lot of struggle with PTSD and you’re the smartest bunch of people I know.

I’m married to a man who physically resembles my sexual abuser insomuch that they are both tall, white, have dark hair, etc. Fairly generic similarities, but it’s enough to confuse my brain a lot.

Yesterday my husband said something that triggered my PTSD very badly. I tried to explain to him what happened (probably not very well) and instead of listening to me he continued playing on his phone. I lost my $hit at that point and everything has gone downhill since then.

I’ve been under a lot of stress lately: death of a grandparent, another one diagnosed with cancer, moving cross country, grueling traveling (still jet lagged)... I think it’s just all too much for me.

I feel myself buckling under the pressure and I don’t know what to do. My mom’s a retired RN and has been very supportive. I honestly think I’m safer at home than in a psychiatric ward. No desire for self-harm.

Any advice would be great.

Or part of day sometimes. Say, "I'll be fine this morning." Then at lunch, "I'll be fine until evening." And so it goes.

I'm not sure if this is helpful, but I wanted you to know I'm thinking about you, and I care.

Do you have the energy to do nice things for yourself? Think of small rewards like a bubble bath or a walk in the woods. Buy your favorite treat.

There are web sites and chat rooms that might help you. If you've recently moved, you might not know people you can talk to in person.

I'm sorry your husband wasn't more responsive when you needed support. That's difficult, but that's sometimes how men are, consumed with their own lives and problems. Men tend to be doers and women tend to need talkers. It makes for a few communication snarls I'm afraid.

Glad your mother is helpful. Do you have a doctor you like. He or she might be helpful. Perhaps you could call for an appointment to discuss these problems.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 06/11/2018 02:35PM by Cheryl.

See a professional . They know how to help you.

I'm going to second that. I have been hospitalized for a nervous breakdown. It's not something you want to go through.

If I were in your position, I would think hard about going to a psych facility if being worn out is any contributor to your situation. They are notorious for people not getting any sleep or rest, unless sedated chemically. One drug usually leads to another on that route too, with worse side-effects than your original symptoms in the long run. Early intervention in psych issues is a good idea before you feel like exploding, so I would first think about a counselor/therapist. Psych issues are quite common these days, no need to feel alone. You are not alone.

I don't know you or your situation though, but nature always bases people well. Get out in to the deep even if it's only a plant nursery.

Can you get away for a day or two by yourself? Just go to motel and veg-out? Get some rest, maybe watch a couple of the movies mentioned in the comedy movie thread?

If your mom, the RN, understands what you're going thru, you might consider getting her to explain it to the idjit you're married to. He might not normally be an idjit, but he obviously doesn't get what's happening to you.

For the movie, I recommend Airplane! as a starter. It's silly, you don't have to think hard and you should laugh a bunch.

Best of luck to you, Mrs. Breakdown...we're pulling for you.

Thanks, Capitain. This made me laugh. :)

Are you sleeping? Go talk to dr.

I am in a similar place. Don't want to self harm but am deeply depressed with this cult realization in my brain still. I think of my whole life as a whole and it makes me deeply depressed and disappointed and i am on anti-depressants as well. My brain can not seem to handle that i was born in a cult and my family are devoted cult members. I always make sure to take my anxiety meds, go to counseling, and do acupuncture. And stay the hell away from all cult people. God i am getting triggered just talking about it.

Sorry to trigger you, Adam. Thanks for your support. ❤️

I hope things are getting better and better for you. You deserve it!

You definitely need to consult a professional.

You aren't going to get professional guidance here on RfM. Lots of well meaning people, but we aren't therapists.

Get help. Your well-being and mental health depend on it.

If you're suffering from anxiety or panic attack/s there are techniques you can do to help yourself cope. Taking slow breaths (inhale slowly counting to ten; exhale slowly counting to ten, several times over,) tightening your muscles then relaxing them in repetition like the breathing exercise. Taking walks you may find beneficial.

If you know it's PTSD and a nervous breakdown you're on the verge of - professional guidance is still the best route to go no matter how you feel about it. You want to get better, right? Make the call and schedule an appointment.

Thanks, everybody. I have an appointment with my psychiatrist tomorrow afternoon.

It’s nice to know that others have been here; and your support means a lot. It’s an awful feeling to feel like your spiraling out.

I know this forum is not a substitute for professional help, but y’all are lifesavers (probably literally, and for multiple people). I know a lot of other posters would second that.

insights. That's what we pay them for.

After the death of my father when I was 15, and a whole childhood with my alcoholic mother, I escaped to an "away" university for a few very happy years, and then got entangled in a marriage to an abuser.

I felt so relieved - and justified - when PTSD finally got a name of its own. I had the symptoms of it, long before it was identified. Once I knew it had a name, I felt that I could fight it. And I had a wonderful therapist who helped me get past it. Unfortunately, she has since passed away.

After checking out several others, I never found one I felt I could trust my heart with, so I have tried to stand on my own two feet since then. (With the help of a wonderful DH and this community, I might add.)

OP Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Thanks, everybody. I have an appointment with my
> psychiatrist tomorrow afternoon.
>
> It’s nice to know that others have been here;
> and your support means a lot. It’s an awful
> feeling to feel like your spiraling out.
>
> I know this forum is not a substitute for
> professional help, but y’all are lifesavers
> (probably literally, and for multiple people). I
> know a lot of other posters would second that.

It can be a spiral down that's for sure.

I get minor triggers that are irrational quite often, sometimes daily (and I wait for the uncomfortable feelings to pass). I realize there are subjects that I find uncomfortable especially when I'm tired or stressed. But I constantly remind myself that everyone is concerned about their own problems and aren't trying to mess with my mind. So I try to accept just about any conversation or question from other people and try to just move on.

And to be honest with this psychological approach of giving everyone (and I mean everyone) the benefit of the doubt, it has been years since I can actually remember when anyone has said or done anything that is actually rude. I don't even (usually) get noticeably triggered with aggressive drivers.

Just keep reminding yourself, "I'm going to be nice today."

Amazing how quickly people just want you to get over it.

I agree with going to a professional and it sounds like you are tomorrow.

I have been going to the same therapist for over 20 years now. For the past 10 to 15 years, I've only gone a few times a year, but this past year, I've ended up going more. I also have PTSD triggers and he can zero right in on what is going on with me since he knows me so well now. I don't know what I would have done without him. He not only saved my life, he gave me back my life.

cl2notloggedin Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Amazing how quickly people just want you to get
> over it.
>
> I agree with going to a professional and it sounds
> like you are tomorrow.
>
> I have been going to the same therapist for over
> 20 years now. For the past 10 to 15 years, I've
> only gone a few times a year, but this past year,
> I've ended up going more. I also have PTSD
> triggers and he can zero right in on what is going
> on with me since he knows me so well now. I don't
> know what I would have done without him. He not
> only saved my life, he gave me back my life.

There is no getting over decades of mental hell and suppression in less than two years i have figured out.

Have you been diagnosed w/ PTSD by a doctor OR is this just your own self assessment? Just curious because if not diagnosed professionally, you may be suffering from an acute episode of panic. Just my initial thought.

If you have been diagnosed by a reliable source (perhaps historically), you may need psychopharmacological help, e.g a regimen of Zoloft. That is if you continue to be bothered daily by anxiety, PTSD symptoms, panic, etc.

I'm glad that you are getting professional help.

At one time I was going through an ultra-high stress period. I was in grad school without two nickels to rub together. I didn't know if I could keep all my juggled balls in the air.

I used to go grab the elderly family cat (who would sit at the bottom of the stairs and cry for me -- he couldn't climb up on his own,) and put him on top of my stomach while I was lying in bed at night. That was the only way I could even attempt to sleep with all of the worries churning in my mind. It worked for him as well. I could feel my stomach heaving up and down, up and down, as the weight of my dearly loved friend comforted me, while he in turn took comfort from my closeness. In the morning we would lie together and listen to the birdsong.

This is a roundabout way of saying, take comfort wherever you can find it.

PTSD -- I get that. I had a violent student this year, one of the most violent of my career. He attacked me repeatedly, along with other children. I get the trauma. I'm not sure how to process it anymore.