Although I’m not sure I’ll ever really be over having half my life frittered away by Mormonism, I think I’m basically over it. The anger is gone and it only took six years.

That seems to be about the average recovery time. Does fiveish years sound right to you?

The Mormon experience had some takeaways. Fortunately, I’ll never have to do it again. By my next incarnation, if you’re into that, TSCC will be dead and gone. I went through one of the weirdest mind screws a person can go through and straightened out my own head. That’s something. How many people do that?

More over it than I was. Have more problems with ex-mos now in comparison which is crazy. From one crowd to another I guess.

You are having problems?

Ever think it's others?

Who's more honest?

Well there you go.

Yea I am pretty honest about my situation maybe in too much detail. Maybe if there was less people I wouldn't have to wait for important surgeries or have people try to indoctrinate me with bs my whole life, maybe other people are the problem as the bard says. Sure as hell wouldn't be in therapy if there were no other people.

It's now just a part of my history. Am I 'over it?' I dunno.

It messed irrevocably with my children - do you ever get over something that insidious once you realize you're in a flippin' cult?

Time will tell ...

I never imagined post-Mormonism would be my cross to bear.

babyloncansuckit Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I never imagined post-Mormonism would be my cross
> to bear.

Carry the cross my friend you are not alone. I almost bought a cross today but I am not truly a full blown Christian although some of the bible is not all that bad.

We come to terms with the good and the bad and continue our lives as we become older and wiser.

I've written about this subject in a post. I was a convert at age 19, married a TBM in the temple, stay married, left the LDS Church and made it to over 50 years of marriage before he passed away. I've written extensively about how I did that, also.

What Recovery Means to Me.

https://www.exmormon.org/phorum/read.php?2,2126522,2126522#msg-2126522


I've made peace with all of my life. I've taken my power back and own it.

It took me a few months to change those automatic thinking scripts from Mormonism.

I don't think I'll ever get over it.

I'm still getting over it. I've been out a little more than three years. In the last years I wasn't terribly active, but still believed it had to be true. But then I came down with a chronic illness, and had plenty of time to research. Research I did!

and in many ways I have also come to having peace with my past or that ex of mine wouldn't live here with me. The lds church gets under my skin sometimes where my daughter is concerned. Even if I live in Utah, I don't really have all that much interaction with them, although there is some. A lot of times I get a laugh out of it. Other times, not so.

What I am over is the indoctrination and the guilt, etc., that the put on all of us. I never think twice about doing the things that they look at me doing and think "oh my!"

What happened in my experiences with mormonism will always be a part of me. I'm just so glad I'm not one of them any longer.

I think I'm recovered and then something will trigger a bad response....like some stupid, racist or homophobic rant by some Mormon...and I'm in fighting mode.
My sweet, gullible, lovable, maddening naive sister is still in the cult and they suck the life out of her at times with you name it. That gets my back up.
The fact that the cult controls the minds of some of my loved ones, my sister and some "friends" still drives me mad.
I know cult mind control is real, but I just hate it.

5-6 years seems about right. Mormonism is now inconsequential in my life, and I view it as an annoying curiosity.

Five or six years sounds about right. I resigned in about 1994, but started completely over in life at that point, pretending like the church never existed for me.

But in 2012, it came bubbling back up to the surface, with feelings and emotions that I decided then to deal with. Here now in 2018, I feel like I have a handle on most of the issues. There is still a lot of unresolved anger. But it's becomming more objective. Anger and depression and the whole scale of emotions that go with them can overtake your life. But I am starting to see them now more like any handicap. If you have a broken leg that won't heal you would eventually learn to objectively say "it's just the leg" and move on and adjust. Likewise, someone with depression and anger can learn to say "it's just the depression and anger" and move on and adjust. Then when the anger and depression return as it always does, instead of it consuming your reality, you objectify it and say "it's just the anger and depression", and rely more on the intellect to make decisions until your emotions come in to balance again. That helps. You still can't just ignore it indefinitely. But it starts becomming more managible. For me, it never goes away. I budget enough of my time and energy toward coping and since I can objectify it, it doesn't interfere with rational decision making processes.

When it comes to dealing with the anger and depression so that maybe one day that heals, I am working on that too. I think that the anger and depression come from dealing with a level of betrayal that I can't fully comprehend. To just ignore it and to move-on would mean to ignore whatever lesson it holds. That is why forgiveness alone doesn't work. It's just another form of avoiding the issue. To attribute the misdeeds of others to the devil does the same. To maintain a grudge doesn't solve the issue. Since the betrayal required concious thought and planning and the execution of a plan against you, you can't just pretend it didn't happen. To decide not to trust others in the future as a result of the past betrayals seems limiting too. So all you're left with is the conclusion that somehow you deserved the mis-treatment. For a person who did nothing wrong and who wants to maintain a healthy level of ego, that doesn't work either. You can attack the church for being a cult because they built the dysfunctional culture in which all of this happened. But at the end of every day, the church continues to exist, which causes anger and depression. So you stuff it down, until it gets time to deal with it again. Then you go through it for a while until it wears you out enough to become unimportant again, and return to a level of balance again. At some point, it starts over. Hopefully the next time around, you learn something new.

I have 2 friends who are closeted non-believers who have already made their peace with it and I would think it is because we don't live in Utah, Idaho, Arizona or any of the surrounding areas in what they call "Mormon country." 3 of my friends are now inactive and have been considering formally resigning from the church because of the history and all. I would imagine they will do just fine in moving forward with their life without the church or regrets.