A couple of weeks ago a friend confessed that on at least one occasion he faked getting choked up at the pulpit, which was something he rarely did spontaneously. We are both men in our 40’s who have resigned. I resigned 10 years ago, and he resigned just this year. We were talking about the temptation in the church of “ascension” or aspiring to higher and higher priesthood callings. We shared our opinions about how prevalent and strong we think it is among rank and file Mormon men.

He had never told anyone before that he had faked emotions at the pulpit, and he had forgot about it until this conversation reminded him. As for me, I was more the opposite. There were many times I had to hold back emotions that I didn’t want to show. We came to same conclusion pertaining to men crying at the pulpit in general: to properly ascend up the ranks a man should get choked up occasionally but not too often.

Initially during our conversation I told him that rarely if ever did I feel the temptation to aspire to higher callings, or that I felt pride at receiving a higher calling, and I was being honest. However, as I searched my memory I had to admit I was guilty. As we talked I remembered some instances that I didn’t recognize at the time. Once when called to be a counselor in the bishopric I was subconsciously proud to find out that I would be the first counselor, yet I honestly thought I felt humble. I can see now this was just one more part of the mental programming that sucked me in. I think many priesthood leaders who think they are humble are actually quite prideful. I believe this applies to most of the GA’s.

Not personally but I have seen it happen many times. Once there was a member of the bishopric who did it for sympathy.

The choking up part, never. The proud part, oh yeah!

and tried not to become emotional when I gave lessons or talks.

BUT this was the funniest thing I've ever seen with someone getting over emotional at the pulpit. I took a friend of mine to fast and testimony meeting in Seattle somewhere. I was there visiting and trying to be a good mormon. I wanted this family to join. I had known them for years.

So this guy gets up to bear his testimony. (All of the testimonies were about fellowshipping their neighbors.) He started to cry about his experiences and he was SOBBING loudly. Then he snorted really, really loud. My friend and I couldn't stop laughing. We tried our hardest to muffle our laughter, but finally got up and left.

Funny. Sobbing and snorting!

These phonymonies really need to be recorded for posterity!

Yes, the Boner did fake a Morgasm at his confirmation. Crocodile tears, too. Hey, I was 18 and needed a cult in my life, no stones, please!

BYU Boner Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Yes, the Boner did fake a Morgasm at his
> confirmation. Crocodile tears, too. Hey, I was 18
> and needed a cult in my life, no stones, please!


"A Morgasm" Too funny!!

Crying is an over-used Mormon manipulative technique. I dated a lot in California, and at other universities, and it was only at BYU, that Mormon boys faked tears, to manipulate me into going on a date with them. I'm not kidding! These were real losers, who had nothing going for them, except their ability manipulate others, and to play the sympathy card. I would be polite. It was only after they cried, that I would run.

I have a feeling that this is the other side of the same coin as abuse. One crier, who sobbed his way into getting engaged to a friend of mine, jumped out at me in Cannon Center, dragged me to the back of the coat room, threw me onto the floor, and broke my arm. He would have raped me, but some of my football player friends heard my screams, and rescued me.

My wife-beater ex husband could cry on cue. He would beat me Sunday morning, and give a lovely, tearful testimony an hour later. Everyone thought he was so sweet and "spiruchul." When we were first dating, I tried to break up with him, but he cried, and threatened suicide (that should have warned me), until I finally agreed to continue dating him. When I divorced him, I had to file restraining orders against him, to try to stop the violent crying tantrums.

My abusive older brother used to cry, if my parents reprimanded him for his cruelty. He ended up not being punished, and was allowed to beat and torture me, at will. Psychopaths like my brother and ex-husband are experts at evoking sympathy from others. My brother could turn things around so that he was always in the role of victim. "Be kind to poor Bully-Brother, because he is so unhappy, and doesn't have any friends, and everyone picks on him."

Sort of of like the stories of Mormons always being the persecuted ones.

I'm not saying that every male weeper is a bully. I'm sure Eyring is not--but it has served him well in moving up the ranks of Mormonism. It's his schtick.

A bishop tried to hit on me and other single women, during private bishop's interviews in his office. We compared notes. He tried to gain sympathy, saying how lonely he was in his marriage, and that he was "enduring to the end" with his awful wife. He would get real tears in his eyes. The other women were nicer, but I told him that he was abusing his position as bishop, and was a repulsive little weasel, and he as never going to interview me again. He frequently bore his testimony about how much he loved his Dear Wife, with tears and blubbering. He later became a mission president, temple president, and a member of the "Seventies". He had money.

I don’t think threatening suicide would work with the chicks on here. They might offer me a last cigarette.

Not at the pulpit. But after my youngest brother got completely invested in TSCC as an adult, I witnessed him several times feigning emotion to appear humble and spiritual. It was always when talking about TSCC or a member of TSCC.

No.

I am a very genuine person and I think that's why I was neither a good member nor a good liar. I am very readable when it comes to my feelings and emotions. I support good ideas when appropriate, but I like to object to bad ones.

I have choked up though in a Mormon setting when I was cut-off from my family at the MTC. I think that was the worst experience; it felt like death.



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 07/15/2018 04:26AM by messygoop.

I never did. Frankly, it never occurred to me to fake it -- though as an "up and comer" among the holy young priesthood ranks, maybe it should have...?

I was admonished at the MTC for NOT doing so, though. At one of our "final exam" sessions, where we had to give the lessons (in French), in a pretend-to-teach scenario. My instructor (Gary Bergera) afterwards told me my presentation was a bit too clinical, and seemed to "polished." He suggested I pause now and then, demonstrating the emotional content of the message, rather than my mastery of rote memorization.

"But," I protested, "it IS rote memorization. And honestly it doesn't make me emotional."

"You can make it seem emotional even if it's not!" he said.

Yeah, see...I couldn't. Or wouldn't.

I never could fake cry, sniffle, and or fake emotions. At my dad's funeral, I did, and my wife said, "I have never seen you cry before...not even in the church."

I also couldn't do the pausing, which is required in the fake choking. Male Mormons especially do this, where they will begin speaking, and then pause, as if they are trying to regain composure so as not to sobb. Then they will start speaking slowly again.

I remember my mission president chastising me in a zone meeting where he had called me to bear my testimony. I did, resentfully, and I guess sounded a little complacent.

He called me in for an "interview" afterward to yell at me, "Elder Bill, you are a veteran missionary. I asked you to bare your testimony so that you could inspire the younger elders. They need your strength and they follow your example. You showed absolutely no emotion in that testimony...do you believe in Joseph Smith and the BOM?" I responded, "well...uh..yes President." What he said, and I will never forget, "then say it like you mean it...show some tears for crying out loud..no pun intended" to which I replied, "ok are those tears of joy or sadness." He didn't think that was funny. I was never promoted to a zone leader after that, and it will haunt me to this day. If I would have just cried, I could have had a car.

Being at the pulpit is a scary situation for a lot of people.
Here you are basically giving a speech before a couple of hundred
people. You're standing there and they're all staring up at you
waiting for you to talk, and, of course, they'll judge what you
say. Performance anxiety is sure to kick in. So adrenaline is
produced to aid the "fight or flight" response. Well, you can't
fight, and you can't flee, so becoming emotional and sobbing is a
good outlet. The fact that you've seen someone doing that in the
same place and situation before guides you in what to do with
your excess of tension.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 07/17/2018 01:15PM by baura.

I don't know if it was fake. I got emotional at my homecoming talk. Deep in the back of my mind I suspected this was all fake but the emotion was real. I think that is the gas in the tank for Mormonism. Even people who suspect it isn't true are still susceptible to its emoting charms.

"I think that is the gas in the tank for Mormonism. Even people who suspect it isn't true are still susceptible to its emoting charms."

I hear what you're saying. I'm very emotional, though I take great pains to keep my emotions in check (or to at least be aware of what's triggering them).

That being said, flags go up for me whenever I sense that somebody has crossed the line from simply emoting to trying to play upon my emotions. The appeal to emotion was one of the early warning signs that something was a little hinky with Mormonism.

GregS Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> That being said, flags go up for me whenever I
> sense that somebody has crossed the line from
> simply emoting to trying to play upon my emotions.
> The appeal to emotion was one of the early warning
> signs that something was a little hinky with
> Mormonism.

So true. If you want to reduce "faking it" Mormons to 3 kinds in this regard (and they're not this is purely for demonstrating my thoughts) you have the following:

1. Silent doubters caught up in the reality of emotion promoting Mormonism.
2. Emotional opportunists using Mormonism as their chosen context in emoting and eliciting emotions/drama.
3. Silently emoting or suppressing emotion true believers.

There is a lot hinky with Mormonism and people have so many different ways to express their relationship with this crazy organization.

My wife isn't very emotional. If Mormonism moves her fundamentally (like she claims) I've never seen it emotionally.

I think the real talent is appearing to *start* to choke up and trying to hold back tears, which reels the audience in and makes *them* start getting emotional first.

After that, you've got them in the palm of you hand.*

It's that "I am as sure of this as I'm sure that I'm standing in front of you, and I'm almost afraid of telling you about this powerful spiritual truth because I may not be able to hold it together."

It's almost a threat; it's like saying "If you don't believe what I'm telling you, God might punish me for not convincing you...or He might punish you for not believing me."

I'll bet it's the style Joseph Smith used on more than a few women.


*I wonder if part of the arrangement of GC speakers is based on this; for example, Eyring gets up there and makes you cry, and Holland gets up there and jerks you back with one his cajoling "Don't be a cry-baby!" type speeches. Hmmmmmm...

Mormon Sob Theater - one of the few distant memories that remain from my brief transit through mormonism.


I never bared 'testimony', never faked tears, never faked a morgasm.

Had a bishop (and before he was bishop) that would just blubber every time he was asked to speak - sac meeting, SS, RS, Young Women and any youth meeting.

Same story every time - a personal incident between he and his wife but it actually happened to his wife. This went on for years and each time he told the story he became more emotional to the point where it was so uncomfortable to watch and his wife would just look at the ground or turn her head and stare off into space. Once she was standing behind him and I saw a slight eye roll from her.

Husband and I would take bets on when he would start the water works and for how long. He would shake his shoulders up and down, make the cry face but no tears and would dab at his eyes when he was finished.

This is the jerk who, when my 10 yr. old daughter went missing for a few hours because she was mad at me for not allowing her to do something, said to me and ladies from RS who had come to my home, "I don't think you're that concerned and you don't act too worried. You didn't mention to the police that you're worried about it"...all the women chimed in at once "Yes, she did! You were here when she said it several times!" as they were all present when the second set of officers came to the door. A mom in the ward called me shortly after to say my daughter showed up at her house and she was home in less than 10 minutes.

I moved a few blocks away after I left TSCC and would see he and his wife taking walks every morning past my home - they did not know I lived there. One morning I was outside and said "Hello" and was catching up with the wife about their children - he was so uncomfortable he stopped her mid-sentence, left and they don't walk by my home any longer!

I only cried once whilst bearing my testimony in Sacrament.

Was up there saying usual standard shite when i realised what day it was and paused, then began to cry. I had forgot it was football cup final day.

Hahaha nice

I always wondered about that. Some would sob over trivial crap like Jesus and Joe Smith.

That was one of my first issues at church. My mom and dad would do the crying in testimony meeting, including professing their love for each other and their family, then we'd get in the car and they'd start fighting with each other.

Dad would often try to speak so meekly that he'd start coughing and have to clear his throat.

Also found it funny when he'd begin prayers, "Humbly we bow our heads....."

Can you state how humble you are? Doesn't seem very humble.

I never did myself.

But there was one TBM female in my YSA Branch...

You know, when a person is really overpowered with emotion, to the point of tears...it often takes a little while to get back to Ground Zero after you've been crying.

And it was amazing, how she could turn it on and off. She'd go up and give her Fast and Testimony EVERY month.

Like clockwork, about two minutes in, she'd start bawling.

Then when she returned to the pew, it was like nothing ever happened.

It must be exhausting to be that fake.