Do I sense mixed feelings? It can be the right decision for you, but still be painful. Maybe I'm reading too much into your few words. Sending internet hugs and good wishes.
Every Mormon rule that you break, from now on, will give you a sense of new freedom. Think about that.
Every R-rated movie you see. Every book you read that you sense The Brethren would not approve of. Every glass of iced tea, every steaming mug of hot coffee, every sip of alcohol (if your taste runs to that), every swim in a less-than-totally modest bathing suit. . .they will all remind you that you are FREE now.
I've been out for more than a decade now, and I STILL get a kick out of ordering the occasional Margarita when DH and I go out for supper. We don't keep alcohol in the house - no point, as DH doesn't drink at all, and I only indulge in Margaritas maybe once a month or so.
I don't give a second thought to seeing R-rated movies (but then, I never did, even at my TBM-est.) What do they call this kind of thing in kids, these days?? Oppositional Defiant Disorder? Savor every minute of it. You are FREE now!!!